Advice for moving on and getting over broken heart?
I currently live with my boyfriend but we’re not “together” as of two days ago. The relationship has been rocky much of our 6 years together so two days ago he told me we need to officially move on. He’s become friendly with a co-worker and wants to spend some time getting to know her better. I know down deep we’ll be better off in the long run by moving on but the hard part is actually doing it. I have to stay in the house we share together until I can get moving expenses covered. How can I stay sane while we’re both living under the same roof.? I am hurting and he is just carefree about everything. He gets calls and texts from her, he leaves to go out with her, and it makes me so angry that I lash out with violence. Any advice on this situation?
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Filed under: Advice for a Broken Heart
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If you can, go and stay with a friend or family member until you can officially move. Then call him when you are ready to move and tell him when you are coming to get your stuff so he can clear out for the day. Don’t subject yourself to this misery. It will only make it worse.
whatever you do, don’t be violent. i am going through something similar. be optimistic, confident, and no matter what you have to do, do it with grace and kindness. if you know what is best, do it. seek out a friend of the opposite sex to get your mind off of him and see the opposite sex in a new light so that you may see that he is not the only one. it is so hard and i wish you the best of luck :
Wow you are broken hearted. It sounds like you still love or care about this person. The best thing would be to get out as soon as possible. Give you both time to think, and if he still feels the same way when you’re gone then he has really moved on.
The simple answer
Cry.
Get out of the house. There are too many memories there. He’s getting over you by getting a new girlfriend, and I don’t doubt he’s rubbing salt in the wounds. Nothing like a new boyfriend to get your mind off the old one, but if you want a ’successful’ relationship, take the time to look at what went wrong with this one so you don’t repeat your mistakes.
This is a tough one. First you must get your finances together as quickly as u can and get ot of there-Secondly in the mean time-act like your fine with everything too-dont lash out or show him that your tore up-remember-you always want what you cant have-so throw it back at him-start keeping busy and not at home-evn if you have to go to the library-GO! Force yourself out of that house and give him a reason to wonder where u are-I hope that new fling for him fails because 6 years is a lng time to spend with someone and then leave. I know how hard this is-hearts broken take so long to get over-He is thinking its a peice of cake right now because he has someone else and its always easier to walk away when you have someone to run too-dont worry-this too wil pass-what goes around comes around! make a list of things you need to to get done and buy for your new place-then out it into action! Good Luck!!!
Yes. Be kind to yourself & patient with your processing of the events of the last few days. Even if you suspected something you know now what is going on. DO NOT tell yourself or believe it if anyone else says it to you… TIME DOES NOT HEAL ANYTHING. It is what you do with your time that will make a difference in your life. Time goes by each moment of each day, but that does not connect where you are now (emotionally) to where you will be once you have processed this & put things into a healthy perspective. At this point what I am about to say may seem harsh, it is not meant in that way… He has told you by his words & actions that he is MOVING ON. BELIEVE HIM & BEGIN LETTING go of what you had, hoped for & dreamed you would have with him. Mourn it, acknowledge that you will not have it. You have a BEST for your life & you get to decide what that looks like & is!! If after 6 years together he “loved you” & you were it, why did he just find another it?? Ok none of us PERFECT, but this is obviously not about you … he made the choice to go elsewhere. REMEMBER that as you move forward. DO not go back & try to”fix” things so he will come back to the life you had. BELIEVE what he said & did.
Today begin to save your money & use what you have today to build for tomorrow. Be creative in searching for your new place to live. Yes you are hurting, missing the way things were when there were “good times”, and being angry. Feel those emotions. If it will help, type on your computer, or write those feelings emotions & thoughts as you have them. Cry when you need to and work on accepting what is, even though you may not like it.
As soon as you are able move out of the house you share, do so. Allow those who love you & support you to love you & support you. REMEMBER you get to decide what is BEST for your life!!! Just see the truth & you will make the right choices for your life.
I am a mother to two daughters so this is truly from my heart & expierence. Those who love you & support you are hurting for you & with you. Because of that I have sometimes said things to my daughter(s) when she was hurting that did not help or support her. My heart was breaking for her, but I was seeing things as her mother & she was going through them, living them & hurting. Also I have said things to my daughter(s) that they needed to hear, but I was not “happy” to say them. As I said before be kind to yourself. Sometimes that means saying to a loved one who is trying to help (when you are hurting), I know you care, but I just need you to listen or whatever it is you need from them.
After work or whenever it will uplift you surprise yourself with a spur of the moment detour form your daily routine & do something special, funny, or out of the ordinary for you!! DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF for his choice to move on & date someone else. Try not to focus on him & what he is doing…texting her, dating her etc. I know that it may be a challenge because you still live together.
Use your energy to change the one life you can, YOURS. Possibly take on a part-time job to earn extra money to move out & as a result you will not be there as much & be subjected to their “dating” & talking. If it would be best to move out as soon as possible, ask a friend or family member if you can stay with them for awhile. You said in your question that you know deep down you’ll be better off in the long run, so if he “changes” his mind, decides he wants her & you (on the side), or is just wishy-washy… You already know the truth. You are BETTER OFF!!! He “made the choice” to move on , PLEASE remember that as you heal & grow.