I need some advice on how to approach a very painful situation. I am a person who has never been close to her family, due to the behavior of my parents. They split when I was young, and one resorted to abuse (mother) while the other resorted to neglect (father). I have been struggling with depression since I was 5. I am now 28. When I was in my teens, I began to seriously deteriorate emotionally. I also put myself in therapy, because I desired more than anything to be “normal”, to be happy and not have to deal with all these issues.

Well my parents lied to cover up their behavior, and as a result I have been estranged from my family for a long while. I feel very uncomfortable about being around them. My mom and I are trying to work our situation out. My father died 7 years ago.

I got very sick two years ago, and for the most part, my family has pretty much abandoned me to this. I live with my fiancee and son, and only his parents and a few close friends have made an effort to be here for me.

All of the other people I thought were my friends have disappeared. It seems that my relationships were based either on religious commonality or the ability to “hang out”. When I lost my ability to leave my bed, I lost the people I thought were my friends as well.

This has broken my heart. As such, I am afraid to go back out into the world and try to make new friends now that I am better. How can I cope with this? I know that my feelings of depression are coloring my life situations. The strain is becoming unbearable. I’m still in therapy (14 years now), and my therapist says I’m making the right choices. So why do I still feel so empty?

Anyone out there who can relate or who knows someone who can relate? How did you deal/how have they dealt with this?

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Filed under: Advice for a Broken Heart

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