Death is such a sweet kiss goodbye?
I’m here again – my mind pouring what’s in my broken battered heart yet again and the NEED and WILL to end it -to overdose and to stop being me forever more. I’ve taken a piece of advice of someone who posted something on one of my posts the other day and i’ve decided that i don’t care what other people think of me now – it used to get to me but not anymore since i won’t be here for that long now what does it all matter?
I’m scared to live – how’s that for a line, suicidal, depressed, anxious all the time and today i cut my hand and let it bleed by accident it was because i’m so clumsy but i didn’t care and it was quite deep – i’m not a self harmer and i know it’s not something to be joked over or trivialised about so i would never do that but hurting myself i didn’t care at all about that.
So, my question because you have to have one don’t you to be here is i’m still SHIT scared of living in this world so how do you believe that it’s going to any good if you try – if you want to post anything on here feel free to shout or swear at me – i know people will because i’m giving up and i know that i’m a loser – like i’ve said before i’m not worth the air around me so there you go i guess – i’ve been bullied all my life and i’ve never said this but i was hit when i was younger so i’m frightened of alot of things – maybe that’s why i feel anxious all the time – being depressed is a new thing that’s happened in the last 4-5 months and medication and therapy doesn’t help by the way – tried all the above but depression has become my best friend in a way now – i have control over my thoughts and feeling s and hiding form the world is what i do everyday – inside myself.
I have things planned out for when i go and end it all so it’s the easiest and more comfortable thing in life that i have any control over so why bother living when it’s easier to die – the way i want and when…
I don’t care what other’s think of me now like i said so go ahead and blame me i’m used to it ok – i’m here just to try and write my thoughts and a question and that all – i will do this and i’ve tried several times before so nothing phases me – i’m worthless so there you go.
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Filed under: Advice for a Broken Heart
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I have had days like this and I do understand what you mean. I don’t mean to be hard on you but I have to keep it real. (Right) Quit trying to coward out of life. The one guarantee we have is that we will all die one day from something. The worst, would be our own hand. Take a look at my picture. Sometimes, you have to bend over and tell all the people who are causing you pain, and all the spirits that are causing pain to Kiss where the sun don’t shine. Of course, unless ur wearing a thong. Lighten up on yourself. I take medication for depression and it has helped me develop a more positive outlook on life. Life can be beautiful if you give it time. Just when your ready to throw in the towel, your break was coming and you were going to get threw it all and come out better. Don’t be a sissy and give up. Hang in there and learn to laugh at things. Keep talking about it, and if you need a friend, I would love to talk with you. Ur life, is not just for you. Ur life affects all the other lives that it touches. Even mine. You have touched my life, and I am sad that there is someone out there who doesn’t want the beautiful gift of life. Just wait until your time, you’ll die. Just not now. Live the best you can and to get out of your own head, do something nice for others. That’s the best way to beat depression. Don’t throw in the towel. I believe in my heart you are going to be fine. Now laugh at my pic. see it’s not all bad!
Generally speaking, I don’t usually pull out the Christian card because it turns people off immediately. Please don’t throw my post out just yet. If you feel as though you are not worth the air around you, I want you to know that there is a love that can fulfill you. When you let someone else control your life, you don’t have to fight anymore. I’ve been through my share of mental issues and diagnoses and I know that you feel like you’ll never come out of this, but I want you to know that there is nothing that you can’t overcome with Christ. If there was anything that I knew I could say would help you, I would say it. I just hope that you hold on to this life you’ve been given just a little bit longer and try God. What could it hurt?
Your NOT a loser. You’re a coward. And cowards quit or they don’t even try. Why don’t you UN invite yourself to your little pitty party, stop playing the victim and do something productive with your life!
You have actually made some progress, you have identified what is bothering you, now you can fix it
The thing i am wondering about is that you said that the depression is new since you started taking the medications… they can cause some people to increase in depression and anxiety, so i would think maybe you should get off them and try something else…. that may be all you need to quell the depression
Then , you could realized that everyone has fear of living to some degree, everyone has been bullied, some have been treated worse than others…… and many have healed…
So , I am saying you can heal
You just have to find what works well for you…
Fear is also a function of the hormones, so yours may be out of balance,, and that can be fixed also…
If you EFT all your fears, bullying experiences and anything else that has hurt you, and then you can start to reprogram yourself, and feel better…
Get off the meds… try something else…
YOu are alive to find and be happy,
there are support groups for depression , suicide,etc.below,
and a free healing method
and hormones explained and fixed site
You just need the right help… have you told your doctor who gives the meds how you feel?
You should want to live, because living gets better. Death doesn’t.
Trust me when I say this, but EVERYTHING is better than being dead. Nothing is worse, NOTHING. No amount of pain or hurt is worse than being dead, because when you are alive, things CAN and WILL get better for you, trust me. x
You are NOT a loser. Don’t ever say that. I know sometimes you feel like that, but if you were a loser, God would have taken your life already.
If you weren’t worth the air, if you don’t deserve to live, God would have taken your life for you. But he hasn’t. He thinks you are special – you have a WHOLE life ahead of you. Things can only get better here on out; you have to trust me when I say that.
Everyone will miss you sweetie. Your parents, grandparents, friends, everyone. Suicide is your easy way out, but it’s the people who love you who are going to suffer. You are not a coward. You are strong. You are strong enough to realise that what you are doing is not the best option, and I need you to carry on believing that, because THAT is what is going to keep you alive.
You are not the person you think you are. You are a great person, and you know that. You have to believe that because you truly are.
You are worth as much as me and the next person.
YOU’RE STRONG. Hang in there.
You are loved, you have a great life, you have everything. Now all you need is happiness, and that isn’t too hard to get. Just try hard and you will succeed. PLEASE don’t fail on me now, don’t fail on everyone who loves you. That isn’t fair, LIFE isn’t fair, but there is no life if you are gone.
Please please please do not kill yourself, re-consider.
Give it time, think hard, and call 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
I know it seems like you can’t get happy or better, but believe me you CAN. You can get better, I swear. Just get help from anywhere and everywhere; HANG IN THERE. This ISN’T THE END. The end will come to you.
Don’t let yourself come to the end.
You are loved. You have a life. Don’t give up now. You’ll get there soon xxxxxx
God loves you. I love you. Everyone in the world loves you. x
Hang on in there,
Lisa.Rr x x x x x x x x x x x
Here’s the thing, you posted here so on some level you do care about what others say about you.
I know what you’re doing to. You’re waiting for someone to say the answer you want to hear. That’s what happens when we try to seek answers to life. The problem is there isn’t an answer to anything we do. If you died today, tomorrow, or a hundred years from now, it doesn’t matter.
Does that mean you should just end it all because there is no meaning to it anyways? Well that’s entirely up to you in the end on what you want to do. I don’t have answers for you and no one else does either, except the one that you want to hear.
With that said, stop trying to seek answers. You won’t know the answers till you die, and if you take your life today, the answer to your life is just that, but if you live, your answer to life will be different.
Stop trying to blame being bullied. That was all in the past. You just have to forgive and move on. You can say, “Well why do I forgive someone who did me so wrong. Shouldn’t they be sorry? Shouldn’t they be the ones to ask for my forgiveness?” And the answer to that is no. No one is going to come up to you and ask for your forgiveness on something they did to you. Just have to continue moving forward and to do that, the first step is to forgive them. If you continue seeing that all you can think about is how you’re bullied, try this, say over and over in your head: “I forgive you, [insert name of person here],” instead. Eventually you’ll think something else.
Stop living in the past. The answer to life isn’t the past, the answer lies in the present. And at present, you’re living in the past and forever you will remain there until you can forgive and move on. You have much more to offer than someone who bullied you. They’re not going to return, they’re not going to ask for your forgiveness, they’re not going to do anything. I doubt they even remembered you, much less even think about you. So why should you think about them?
I get the feeling you are smart and talented. Why not turn those negative feelings into finding a better way to cope? Hiding out isn’t a bad idea, just do something worthwhile when you do. You don’t know how much you can help another person if you keep it to yourself. There is a good reason that you exist and what’s the point in giving up before you find out what it is?I know what it’s like to want to end it all. I’m still here because I found the courage to handle my issues. Every day is not a good day for me and something is always going on. Maybe you just need someone to listen and show you the way….like me.
Death may not be anything like what you imagine it to be. What you have so carefully planned you will have no control over because you will be a corpse destined to rot. Call 1-800-SUICIDE if you persist in your present train of thought.