My fiance’ and I are getting married in three months, and I have always thought that he has been straight with me about the women in his past. He’s slept with four women, me being the fourth. His first was his highschool girlfriend when he was seventeen, he then went out with a make-up artist he grew up with who was a total ***** and cheated on him, then a girl who was a couple of years older than him, and then there was the girl he met online that he never slept with. Those were his relationships before me, but he’s dated more than that. I will not deny that sometimes I have problems with his past, mainly because I was a virgin until we started dating, but I work to control it because our present and future are all that matters…

I moved to his state (five hours away from my hometown) to live with him in January, and two days later on our anniversary we received in the mail a notebook from the ex he met online. She had WRITTEN A BOOK called “Addicted to Love” and it was about her life, and how her relationship with her brother screwed her up (she gave him a BJ when they were kids, and he did oral to her, but now she considers it sexual abuse. I don’t know her well enough to know either way), and then all about her short relationship with my fiance complete with all of their messages back and forth to each other. She was letting him see it before she tried to publish it.

I’m a writer, so my fiance had me read it to see if it was actually publishable, and I told him the legalities, which got her to remove the messages. He told me that they had met online, chatted back and forth, and he had gone to visit her in her state (the next one over from his home-state) once. He told me that it hadn’t gone that well, that she was controlling (tried to tell him what to wear, etc), had dodged his kiss, and that she hadn’t told her mom they were dating so he ended up spending more time with a friend who was going to college there than her.

She broke up with him a couple times because of her controlling nature, and he had really thought he found the one in this flaming psycho, so he had always put it back together. Then when his dad got stationed in SC near his Marine brother, he decided a fresh start was what he needed, so he started to pull away. She showed up at his family’s house uninvited with her best friend. He told me that it had been weird, because he had already broken up with her, and she had bags with her like she thought she would be going with them.

After all he had told me about her, I thought okay, it’s just another one of her psycho moments. In her book, I found out that they had hung out at the going away party, watched a movie with his friends with his head resting in her lap (oh yeah, he’s totally freaked out), and that she had stayed the night in his room with him. He had told me she had stayed just because it was too late tp send her home. I had bought it at the time, but now I realize that if he really hadn’t wanted here there, he would have sent her away as soon as she showed up. Then there was her very vivid description of what they did while in bed (no sex), and how the next morning his friends had all-but congratulated him thinking that he had nailed her.

She had left, and soon after he was in SC their relationship totally fell apart for good. A couple of months later he met me, we had a storybook romance, and it’s simply been incredible. Neither of us had any doubts. Then while I was packing some things since we are now moving to a new place, I found a letter from her mixed up in some papers (he and I burned the others shortly after the book arrived). It was in her book, but I hadn’t read the whole thing. I did then. She talked about how she had wished things had worked out, that she would always love him, and that she had had bags packed ready to move down there to live with him.

The first time I had read that part, I had been buying into the whole she’s psycho, he didn’t want her to come thing. He told me even that the difference between me and his ex was that he had wanted me to move in with him, but he had never wanted her to. This seemed fishy now, so I point blank asked him if he had ever asked her to move in with him. He told me this time “I don’t remember. Maybe.”

WTF!? I confronted him about all the holes in his story, not in a angry-confrontational way, and he accused me of being obssessed with her and that all that mattered was that she was in his past. He acted like he was done with her by the time he moved, but now he may have asked her to move with him when before he told me that she was so psycho and had thought she was going with him without ever asking? He is excited to be marrying me, but he’s also glad because he’s felt guilty about us living together without being married, so he must not have been planning on just living with the chick…

Am I being paranoid
and obsessive like he says or is there really something fishy going on? Their relationship (not counting the multiple break-ups) lasted from December ‘08 (officially January ‘09) to July of ‘09.

He thinks I have become insecure since we set the date, and maybe I have but lately with his job related stress it seems that his affections aren’t as constant as they were before. He says that no matter how well or much he expresses it he loves me and I am the only one he wants to wake up to in the morning and so on.

I need some tips on breaking up on the phone. I know it’s better to do it in person but, that’s out of the question at this moment. Please help me! I need to call her at 5:15 today. (it’s friday)
I really don’t want to break her heart, that’s why i’m asking for advice. Help me make it easier for her. I really don’t want to hurt her, she is a great person.
I also can’t say it in person. It would hurt even more. I don’t haven’t gotten my permit yet. (problably in a few months) And her house isn’t walking distance. I really can’t go to her house just to break up. I think that would be worse (she dosen’t go to my school any more.)

my mom broke up with dad when i was 11. he went overseas after that..he would always drop everything to spend time with me. hes so nice.anyways then my mom got back with the guy she had married ages ago before i was born..she has3 kids with him..which are my half sisters and 1 one brother (which we will not get into how much hurt he had coursed me that brother) anyways they have been toagther for 6 yrs now my mom and step dad. Ever since my mom went back with him i have ALWAYS hated him. His really mean at times, and he never spends any time with me..his always working or sitting on the coach..i dont even know his last name.But theres one thing i do know..hes always angry..at the most smallist things, like i left my bowl sitting next to the coach and himcomes out yelling “Who the bloody hell left this here!!!” he does this with EVERYTHING. and ive had 4 cats since i was 4 yrs old and 2 of them recently went misssing so i was sad, and he comes out yelling “these bloody cats, you should take them to the vet to get put down stupid stupid fkcing cats!!!” and he said he was going to cut all the heads of my chickens in the back yard…He only spends time with MY dog that i got for MY bday and he spends all the time with it and he now calls it HIS dog. My mom ALWAYS tip toes around my step dad so that he wont get mad at her, or aargue. Is this normal? how can i make my parents break up? it makes me so upset when hes around. could he bereported 4abuse? my sisters say “thats just dad” but they just dont understand, they dont live here anymore….
I KNOW ITS LONG BUT PLEASE HELP.

p.s. im 16

My boyfriend and I have been going out for 8 months and i just don’t feel the same way anymore. I have been told that a text is shallow and a phone call is better but face to face is the best way. There is one problem… there is no possible way I can see him because I am not allowed to see him alone. Not only that but I can gain enough confidence to call him. How do I break up with him and not seem shallow at the same time?

I just got out of a 2 year relationship – his choice, and at first I was so sad…I felt like I had lost my hope and pride. He was all I would think about and I just couldn’t let him go.

We continued to talk on and off for about a month, and decided to end it just 4 days ago. He sent me a text the next morning saying he would NOT date or do any girls anytime soon at all…he said he loved me but just though it was for the best.

I thought it was sweet, until last night. My friend left her facebook open and I went to check his out (he knew I didn’t have a fb, so I couldn’t look at his profile). Well, I went on his and just earlier yesterday I find he was hardcore flirting with a girl, and even gave her his number to “keep in touch,” even though he added her as a friend the same day. 30 minutes after he finished his flirting, he posted new pics of him on fb and linked an “official girlfriend application” to his wall…

I was a little upset at first, but then just laughed. I realized how frickin pathetic he was…a lying piece of trash.

I couldn’t believe it at first, but it gave me true insight to his character, and today I was actually happy for once because I finally know what to do with him – I don’t want his low-life self in my life, and I am better without him..

You ever feel that way? And do guys usually do this 4 days after a breakup?

I just broke up with a girlfriend of 2 years recently and i’m having trouble meeting new girls. Please tell me what works when a guy is trying to approach you at a bar. Any tips of what to do and not to do wil be greatly appreciated.

I would love to hear mostaly from the ladies.

Thanks to everybody that answers,

John

to a guy tht you want to let go of?
i’ve been his friend.
we’ve hooked up & flirted for 8 months.
& i want to get over him and move on.
bc he has a girlfriend and has had one for the past 6 months.
& no i did not hook up with him when he had his gf i did when they broke up for a period of time.
but i did continue flirting & dirty talk with him
so how should i tell him it’s over?
& should i say why i want to leave?

I have recently posted this question http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AtCXLIK9MDvt4.otd7MwQYPty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090708012550AAGUrcY and have no decided by myself that maybe the best thing to do is just leave and move on. I don’t seem to be getting anywhere with him at all. What is the best way to end things with him as this is going to break my heart but i know its for the best. Any advice & tips on how to do this would be appreciated. Thanks

This is a follow-up to another question regarding how I can make my girlfriend happy. I only got one answer, from a friend. All the backstory is in there.

WARNING: Includes sexual content. (Shouldn’t be a problem here)
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ArKFN6yo0y5Yw12o5Q928MXsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20100528205741AA4iOPl

But the problem has gotten worse for me. I had two girlfriends for a while, and I finally broke up with one of them because she was more self-sufficient – she always said she didn’t need me.

I think K, on the other hand, really does need somebody, and I’m the only person she has. We’ve been making progress over the last year but until recently I’ve never seen her express any emotion beyond sedate curiosity.

But today I entered her apartment, and she was crying. I was so floored by the sight that I couldn’t even move past her bedroom entrance for a moment. She wasn’t all-out bawling or anything, just quietly sobbing. I asked her why several times over the course of the evening, but she always replied the same, “I apologize. I cannot explain that which I do not understand.” To think, she’s the one crying and she apologized to ME for it. I’ll probably never forget that half-whisper, those words, the way she always said them exactly the same way.

I think I do understand, though, or I might. She doesn’t seem like the jealous type, but there’s still so much I don’t know about her. I told her about R (the other woman) yesterday and her initial response was just a single nod without eye contact. I tried to explain that I’d chosen her because I really do love her. She doesn’t understand love, I don’t know if she’s ever felt it – but I don’t want to give her the wrong impression of what it means.

It’s killing me, but I’ve done everything I can think of to make her laugh or smile, and she hasn’t. But if it was my infidelity that made her cry, then it’s clear that I can only bring her sadness.

So, for her sake, should I end it?

(in highschool) any tips on keeping friends?
(tips on respecting women) etc.

my “boyfriend” of almost 2 months, i don’t feel as strongly for him as i did before. the relationship hasn’t really went anywhere for me either. he really likes me. and we already took a break that i sorta took us off of, which i shouldn’t have because it didn’t change how i felt.
i know that i don’t want to date him anymore, but i just don’t know how to break up with him because of the way he feels and the way he thinks i feel.
he’s also going through some social stuff right now and i don’t want to make him feel worse by breaking up with him.
my question(s) is what is the best way to break up with him?
and do i wait a few days till he feels better or end it when i talk to him next?

me and my ex broke up 4 months ago and i can’t deny that i still love him. in these 4 months we’ve spoken and hung out here and there and he told me he still has feelings for me and he’ll always love me but he likes being single. we’ve also hooked up (not sex) a few times. and now, as of the other day, he has a girlfriend. and she’s ugly and a sophmore and me and him are both seniors about to graduate. last night me and him talked and he said he’s not gonna break up with this girl so i think the best thing i should do is just let him go and move on completely…..except, i don’t know how to do that lol. i think i might go up to him in school and tell him i’m giving him all his stuff back and that if he sees me in the hall with his girlfriend, to please walk the other way or dont do anything that will hurt me. and i don’t want another relationship on account that i’m leaving for college soon, it would be too hard. i also thing i might go to rutgers for college. so yahoo users, any advice on the best way for me to move on from this? thank you all!

cause like i know he likes me but he is like mean and rude
and i like someone else
so i need some tips
based on your own expireince would be great

My ex dumped me rather harshly, with no explanation or anything. I can’t help it when he slips into my head… And it happens a lot, but I know that I need to move on and just live and be *happy*, but it is so much harder than I thought. I try to keep it together whenever my ex is around, but when he leaves, I feel like dying. If he could feel how bad he hurt me, he wouldn’t be able to even look at me.

How do I move on from this guy? This is my second shot at “love” (quotations around love because both guys said they loved me, but dumped me anyway) but I feel like I won’t ever find a guy that will truely love me. So please help me get over this little bump in the road! Songs, funny/cute quotes to make me smile, tips to block him out, advice if his name pops up in daily conversation, and anything to help me really. Thank you so much in advance!

Soooo ok my best friend, been friends for the longest time, anyways he had a girlfriend and they broke up. Now that girl wants to hang out with me. I don’t want my friend getting mad at ,me of course. What do I do, how do I resolve my predicament??? Help please. I don’t want to date her by the way.