Ending a Relationship Archives

Advice? my army relationship is not working out?

I love my boyfriend very much but he left a month ago to start basic training for the army and its been really hard on me. During our relationship before he left, he was the most loving, sweet, and considerate guy i’ve ever known. Our relationship, although it was serious, it was fun and easy and i could be honest with him no matter what i was feeling but now that he’s left our communication has died. He isn’t given much free time and through this month i haven’t gotten a single phone call and only 3 letters. He forgot my birthday even!! Well, at the end of one of the letters he added “P.s. holy shit! it’s your birthday, right?!?” no happy birthday or anything. When i write to him i feel like i can’t even be honest about how i feel or how much his absences hurts me. Everyone around me tells me that i cant write anything that “might upset him or add more stress” but this is killing me. I can’t keep going on in this relationship lying in every letter saying i’m fine that i never hear from him or i’m completely okay with the fact he forgot my birthday. I’ve been trying to be understanding that this is a huge change for him and that he’s going through alot but i need more than what he can give me at this time.

I just don’t know what to do. I’m so young to be in this situation with a guy. I’m only 18 and i leave for college in 13days. I’ve thought about just taking some space, not writing to him for a week or two, or even ending this relationship (which i don’t really want to do). I just know i honestly can’t go on with these letters the way that they are. I’m unhappy and hurting all of the time and i know a break up would be easier on me in the short run but in the long run i would probably really regret it.

I guess i am just looking for any sort of advice. :)

Im in a very tough situation where I have just decided to keep a baby from a relationship that was failing. Im extremely upset about this as the father of my son came to me 8 days before the expected birth and told me we had no future. He is 36 and I am 31. I am not in my home country and had a family member come and help me with the birth. Now that she is gone, I’m extremely lonely and need to break it off with him, though he insists on coming around. Im sure I could tell him to go away and he would do it, but I know that emotionally it would hurt like hell. I don’t know what to do. Im so scared that he is just moving on with his life and mine literally stops because I have his baby. This seems like a nightmare and I am afraid no one will ever want to date someone who has a child and yet I feel I deserve to be loved too. Please advise…

My boyfriend and I go to the same university. He is a grad student, while I’m still undergrad. He got an incredible, almost too good to be true job seven hours away. He plans on leaving before he graduates and jump right into his job. I love him too much for this to be the end of our relationship. How can we be successful in keeping it up after he moves?

Repost:

Ok guys and girls, hang in there with me, i know this is very long but bare with me and try to help me out ok? Im desperate here!

Im a sweet girl and im very loveable and have alot of love to give, sometimes too much love 8o
Ok im 19 and my boyfriend is 17… i like younger guys what can i say lol…so anyways my boyfriend and i have been together for a lil over a year, at the beginning of our relationship i cheated on him, by dating him (D****) and other guy (M*****) at the same time :o i know that was really bad and sluttish but i didn’t have sex with neither of them at that time… so about 2 months into our relationship i told M***** (the other guy) that i wanted to just be friends with him because i was starting to fall in love wit my boyfriend (D****) and i didn’t want to lose my bf. i eventually told M***** the truth… he was devastated and upset…i felt guilty because i liked them both but i loved my boyfriend. After 5months of being with my boyfriend (D****) I told him about what i did and of course he was very angry with me and more importantly he was heartbroken, he was more upset that i didn’t tell him sooner and that i waited so long to tell him…but luckily he stayed with me because he loved me and didn’t want to lose me and i loved him so much… couple of months go by and we’re still together but our relationship was rocky (and still is) because he didn’t trust me (and i don’t blame him)… he would always make hurtful jokes about what i did and would tell me “now you see how i feel”
At one point he even told me “sometimes i feel like, since you cheated on me than it wouldn’t be so bad if i did the same thing to you” : (our relationship was sour and i got tired of him making me feel even worse about me cheating not to mention how he would always bring it up at the wrong times and wouldnt let it go… i got so tired that i ended up telling him that i needed a break so we “broke up” (in Oct. of 2008 to be exact) Than one day out of the blue he called me and flirted with and told me he wanted me back so we got back together and we’re still together till this day… he told me he has never cheated and he never will but that puzzles me because of the stuff he use to joke about… and he still brings up me cheating… i haven’t talked to my boyfriend in days and i don’t know what’s going on… the only talking we do is through texts and there only short hellos…but my questions are… do you think he might cheat on me if he already hasn’t? and since we haven’t really communicated in days, do you think he might be planning to break up with me? I know what i did was wrong but that was a while back and i still feel horrible about it but Ive learned my lessons and I’m not going to do it again… everybody makes mistakes.
And no im not “robbing the cradle” lol
And my bf would always ask me, “why did u do it? why would you do something like that to me, especially when you know i love you? i mean why me instead of him?”

I guess at the time i wanted both of them so i said yes to both of them when they asked me and after a while of doing it i started to become really depressed and all i did was cry when i was along. This hurt me just as much as it hurt my bf because i knew what i was doing was wrong, but i started falling in love with him, my connection with him was stronger because we were starting to think about having sex… i didnt want to have sex with him at that time because i was doing something wrong and he didnt know about it (yet).
your probably wondering why i waited so long to tell him, and it was because i felt like if i would have told him at the beginning, i wouldnt have him right now.

Me and my girlfriend are together for the past 3 years. She was married before and have a kid. When i met her three years back she was really hurt from her bad marriage. Her ex husband did everything to trouble her, insulted her during divorce and left her with nothing. After that she didn’t believed in relationships anymore. She went into relationships after that but didn’t worked out. When we met it was different, we fell in love at first sight coz of our same culture, backgrounds and many other similar things. Her ex husband always interfered. Sometimes coz of the legal stuff they both were going through or sometimes he use to say somethings to his child so when she comes to her mother’s house she should speak against me coz of her Dad. The child custody is shared between them. She was so broken from inside that she told me what her ex husband did to her when they were married. I had one thing in my mind that i will never use her or i will never cheat on her and i will never give up on her. I was very good to her child. But after sometime slowly problems started coz of her insecurities. We both been through many ups and downs in our relationship but still stayed together. Our families were against each other but still stayed together. Recently when the things started to become a little worse between us she started to involve her ex in between us and after we got back togther she told me that she did in the heat of the moment. That was the first time in past three years she involved her ex husband. Actually at that time she was about to pick up her daughter and we had a fight on the phone in which i really said bad stuff to her and as she don’t have any good friend she told him at the same. I understood when she told me about it. But recently few days back we had an argument again and i lied to her in the spur of the moment about her ex husband. I said last time when we had a fight i went to see your ex husband just to clear my doubts and he really said mean stuff to me about you. I was immature coz i made that stuff up coz that thing really bothered me that why would she involve her ex after what he did to her. So after listening to it she told me to confront her ex husband coz she really wanted to know the truth. I told her if i confront him then the problem can get worse and we might end up getting into fight. That is exactly what happened when i confronted him we ended up in the fight and the worst thing hurted me was when she told me liar infront him and told me not to call her anymore. I really love her and will always love her but i don’t know now what to do. I know her ex husband since i met her and i know how he is playing all this game between us coz he was never happy that his ex wife is in love with someone else and as he was already staying with his girlfriend. I really tried to explain all this to my girlfriend but sometimes she should agree and understands whats going on but sometimes when had an argument she should disagree. But this time when all this thing happened we really had an bad argument before that day in which i really said some bad stuff to her. I don’t understood one thing that when ever she use to say something bad i always accepted her back and never involved anyone but whenever i said something bad she took against me, i always said sorry no matter who’s fault was first. I have no idea now. I really love her with ally my heart and i know i lied which was not good. Its been 2 days now and there is not even a second goes by when i don’t think about her. I really wanted to work this relationship out but have no idea what to do. I tried my best from the starting not to be like her ex husband but ended up being like him. All i did was lied but never cheated on her. She did told me once that a year back when we broke up she went out with someone else to get over me but came back to me coz she loved me. That was really very hurtful when she blamed me in front of her ex husband. I am really embarrassed and ashamed of myself. But i really love her with all my heart and i pray that she should gave a one more chance to our relationship. Sometimes i think whats behind her involvement of her ex husband. Please advice what should i do. I really love her and my heart says she loves me too but she is hurt. I pray every time that we both should get back together again. Sometimes it fears me when i think that what is she thinking about involving her ex husband. Please advice. Do you guys really think that we will be back together. Really wanted our relationship to work out. Its been a week now since we last had that incident and i havnt contacted her since then. I don’t know she still thinks about me or not? She still loves me or waiting for me or not. I love her.

Sorry to add more but it was important. I am going to Canada in a week or two. I told her to come with me to Canada before when we were together. There is a family function in Canada and my fa

How do you get going on your relationship more than 3 months? what do you guys talk about, grow, or whatever. I mean most of my relationship end within 3 months because we were not right for each other. then, I met one that was perfect for each other, we both were in love. And we ended in 6 months just like that.

Relationship Hell…HELP!!?

I have been “in a relationship” with this guy for an extremely long time (ten months!) and it sucks. We haven’t done anything, and I don’t just mean physically. I don’t see him much and we don’t really talk. My original attraction to him has faded completely and I really want to put an end to our relationship (the title at least, the actual thing never begun). I haven’t been able to do this, because I don’t have his number, he’s never online, I only just got a new phone (mine has been broken for as long as we’ve been “dating”), and when I do see him, it’s in an academic situation, with a boy who is quite obnoxious, and would make it very difficult and awkward to take him aside (and there is rarely a spare moment) to do it. To make things worse, I found from a mutual friend that he feels our relationship is not only going strong, that it’s healthy and normal. The problem is, I am now starting to like other guys. There is one in particular who I really like. I don’t feel guilty about liking this other boy, but i feel guilty about not feeling guilty (if that makes any sense). I feel awful and conflicted and really want it to end, without hurting him. Advice on how, when, and where to end it would be much appreciated.

I met this girl and dated her for 6 weeks it was different for both of us…we where way into each other..than i wanted to have relationship with her..i told her that i was done if she couldnt commit..it was dumb but it was a mistake..i did this twice..and she got pissed and was over it..ive been chasing her for 7 weeks now…going overboard with emails and text..im embarressed i felt like a creep..i was on the edge of stocker status.i know that just pushes woman away further..i dont do that kinda thing..but all of a sudden she said she wanted to hang out and catch up..we had coffee for 20 mins sunday…and where suppossed to go to lunch today…how should i go about winning her heart back…shes dating sombody else now..but the guy has a myspapce page with 1900 friends who are all whores and hes not ganna treat her right..i just want her to be happy and i know this guys ganna end up hurting her..i know where suppossed to be together..how should i go about getting her back…

My current girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 5 months now.
Ever since day one it has been a long distance relationship.

I am now a college student, she remains in high school. I changed the college I was going to just to be closer to her. Do not lecture me on how I shouldn’t change my life for a girl. I already have, and that was my decision, she’s my life.

When we first met it was late at night, she lived 3 hours away, and we snuck out to see each other. It was the most amazing night of my life, but it ended too soon. My mom found out, and went on the 3 hour trip to find her family worried I would be charged with rape (I’m 17). We did not have sex, but our parents were convinced that’s the only reason we’d sneak out to see each other.

Our parents forbid us from talking to each other. But that stopped nothing, I bought her a prepaid phone plan so we could continue talking when her parents took her phone. And we talked for 2 months straight. At that point we started seeing each other more frequently, and the relationship grew.

It was the end of summer and now I was starting up college, I chose a school close to her rather than out of state and pursuing a military career like I had originally wanted.

I found myself seeing her at least once or twice a week and having a good life. But now she got caught. Her parents found out she was supposed to be hanging out with me and freaked out. Her mom was physically sick from it and her dad is so crazed he went to the police (mind you no charges can be pressed). But its the concept that shows you how serious they are about keeping us apart.

She writes letters to her mom, fearing a direct confrontation, telling her of our love for each other. She is the most amazing girl in the world and I would do anything for her. We both have our flaws but we’re over that. This is the girl I’m going to marry one day, I just wish there was a way to confront her parents.

They’ve called me before after forcing her to give them my number. But my girlfriend won’t let me talk to her parents. Her dad is hands down psychotic but her mom seems accepting to some extent.

I don’t know if I should just let things play out, or try to talk to her mom, or what else..

After she got caught this last time her parents took her phone (she has the other one still and talks to me), and is grounded until she turns 18. (3 years yet) This grounding means she cannot leave the house except for school. NO EXCEPTIONS.

We’ve worked it so I can see her for 20-30 mins before school and during lunch sometimes but it is a hour drive each way and I have classes too.

I just wish things could be easier for us, and I don’t know where to go next with this.

So here I am, asking on Yahoo answers, hoping someone’s been through something similar or at least has an answer that sounds good.

Her parents do not like me for the simple fact I am an older guy. The only other reason I would feel they don’t like me is because the first time they heard of me was when she snuck out to see me.

Don’t take the easy way out and start screaming “teenage” love. Not every teenage relationship is immature in that manner, she is very mature for her age and her parents agree. We both understand each others flaws, and don’t see the other as perfect.

We take risks to see each other, sure you can say it adds to the thrill and excitement of the relationship but in reality it just makes things harder for us.

We are very serious about our relationship and wish her parents could understand this.

15 minutes ago
On a side note she faces an abusive father and a mom who is afraid to divorce the guy for her own safety.

It is of her own free will she chooses me over following her parents word. After 5 months the whole lust portion of a relationship usually dies off, from my experience that’s done after 3 months. And what’s left is the real feelings and love.

Thanks.
I’ve suggested a “supervised” visit to her before, not sure she was willing to go through that though. And it’s hard because her dad is laid off of work for another 2 months and is always home.

I met this amazing guy about 5 months ago and we immediately hit it off. We have a very intense passionate relationship and the sex is beyond amazing. We have already had conversations about our future (like children and marriage etc) and he never seems scared or hesitant and I believe he is telling me the truth about wanting a serious future with me. However, after we had sex a couple of times he told me that he was actually a virgin before he hooked up with me, which i eventually found endearing although i was confused as to why he just wouldn’t tell me in the first place but he is 24 so i understand being a little embarrassed.
The other week he asked me in passing if he would be open to a semi-open relationship so he could experience what sex was like with other people before he settled down. I completely freaked and broke up with him but after talking with him I do understand his need to experience sex, since I already had those opportunities, but I’m not sure how I should proceed from here. He says he doesn’t want other relationships just to find one night stands or whatever to just have sex “get it out of his system”.
Is this even believable or is he just trying to have his cake and eat it too. I do love him and believe he is just trying to be honest opposed to cheating but I don’t want to end up like “THAT” girl who is on the back burner and he ends up really hurting me. We are still broken up I guess but he calls me and still tells me he loves me and we are still hanging out. I don’t want to not have him in my life, but I also don’t want to get hurt. Any advice anyone??

My friend met this guy over the internet. he sweet talked her and was great to her. made her feel like gold. he made a Special trip to her town just for her. they watched a movie. the next day he went home to his home town. about a week later he came back for another visit Things happened and they ended up in bed together. She spent the night with him, not telling anyone where she was. Her mom would not have cared but the person my friend is living with called the cops because she said she was worried about my friend. The cops were no use finding my friend. Her parents found her them selves and went to this guys house and the police asked the guy a whole bunch of questions. she is 15 and he is 20 to point out. He thought she was 16. after telling the cops the whole story the mother said not to press charges against this guy. He went back to his home town. She asked him if he was mad and he said no he wasn’t. so they continued to see each other. gradually he began to pull away then just ended up blocking her saying that he was taking the advice of friends and family to pull away from her because of the situation. He told me why he blocked her. He gave her explination what so ever. what are your thoughts on this whole situation?

Well I’m 18 and he’s 17. We were really good friends and we dated off and on for a while, each time just for about a week. But the last time we dated it was for a whole 8 months. Our relationship was perfect, we fought enough. But never too much. We got along extremely well and sometimes just acted as bestfriends. About a month ago he broke it off. I asked why and all he responded with was ‘I don’t know’

A few days later he said he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship but that he still loved me. That he just didn’t want to date anyone. But since we’ve broken up he has been flirting and talking to other girls.

On the 4th of July, I was standing with my friends at the end of my street and he randomly appeared, stepping out of his friend’s car. He said he was passing by and saw us standing outside.

I walked away, because I was freaked out. Which I now realize was really immature. But he said he texted me after saying ‘Thanks that was real nice of you..’ and that he was excited to see me but mad I didn’t bother to say hi

When we first broke up he kept me first on his top friends and said he didn’t want to lose me and that he wanted to remain bestfriends. After a while though he took me off his top completely because i ‘never talked to him’

now every few days he’ll text me casually, what’s up with that?

I don’t know if I should just stop talking to him completely or what, because he is really confusing. it’s just our relationship was so perfect that it’s really hard to just forget about because I actually do love him.

I think he’s just scared of commitment because I’ve been his only serious girlfriend. Should I wait around for him? or move on and maybe later give him a second chance?

I reall appreciate any advice, so thanks in advance

I am 22 years old and I am about to go to bootcamp. My 18 year old girlfriend is now 4 months and one week pregnant. We have been together since LITERALLY new years but we knew each other for a while before like, for like 2 years. Anyways I will admit 8 months into the relationship I fell too much in love. We were telling each other how much we love each other. We talked about marriage and kids before so I thought our love was really strong. I told her that I would need her love to get through boot camp and I asked her if I could have her love forever and she said she can’t promise me that because she doesn’t know what will happen in the future. I was crushed and I decided it was best to break up with her and I did so the next morning. She was making a big deal about it and said that she changed her mind and that she really would love me forever. I didn’t really want to get back with her because I didn’t feel we were on the same page but I got back with her because well I don’t know I didn’t feel like being alone. I know its stupid but I still loved her. Anyways later on she got pregnant. At first she did not want to keep it I expressed to her that I wasn’t comfortable with abortion but since it was her body and her life I told her whatever choice she makes I would love her anyways. After seeking advice from people she decided to keep it. At first though she wanted me to pay all the money for the abortion but when I told her it should have bee the both of us to pay equally she decided to pay halff. She never got the abortion anyways. We were going to get married but then her mother had a “private talk” with her and she decided not to. I had already got a ring and I told her I was going to sell it and she told me not to but I decided to do so if she didn’t want to get married. A month later on she broke up with me because I had said some things that hurt her feelings but we got back together after like a week of sending her flowers and begging for her to take me back and she kept saying no at one point she even told me to leave her alone and not talk to her anymore because I was driving her nuts. Anyways on the last day I called her and said that I was okay with her decision and that I accepted it because I understood it was what she really wanted and she said yeah it was and that she didn’t know if we could get back together. I said ok cool. Anyways she called me that night and said she still loved me and we got back together like a day or two later. She agreed to come stay with me after the baby was born before this happened but now she says she has to think about it.

Okay so I know that was a mouthful. I’m sorry if I sound whiny. She always makes me feel unappreciated and unwanted. She never makes an effort to make time for me. but whenever she wants to see me I go through great lengths to do so. I always go through great lengths to give her gifts and show her that i love her. She has never done anything but tell me that “she really loves me.” The relationship has not turned out how I thought it would especially with her being pregnant and I feel like its a dead end relationship sometimes. My girlfriend never opens up to me about anything. Other women want to have something with me but I always pass up on their offer because of this girl. I have trust issues with her and I always feel like I have to keep an eye open for her if you know what I mean. Part of this is because one time we was at the mall with her cousin and we were all happy and joking around until I wanted to go into a particular store and then they got quiet. They didn’t want to go into the store and I went in anyways and they came in with me. It turns out she didn’t want to go in because she had given her number to a guy that works there because he was “bothering her so much for it” and I said its not like he put a gun to your head. I know I’m stupid I should have left her but I was staying at her place for the weekend and I didn’t want to leave with drama behind my back so I tried to play it cool. She went to stay with her cousin in our home country Dominican Republic for half a month to have a little vacation with her mom. When I broke up with her I had asked her cousin if she had done anything while over there and she was like I can’t tell you the truth or a lie because she loves us both and doesn’t want to hurt us but I later learned that she doesn’t really want us together supposedly.

Well this is my whiny letter. If I’m just being a little b*tch please let me know. Or do I need to end this relationship? I don’t know I’m so confused and I don’t know what to do. I know things are moving fast and I guess its my fault that I let things move that fast for me emotionally.
Her cousin really doesn’t want us together. She is rich and just likes to associate with rich people and she wants my girl to do the same I forgot to mention that.
Although I am untrusting and I may be jealous I am NOT clingy and I give her plenty of space. I let her talk to anyone she wants but if she talks to a guy friend I do get jealous and I let it know sometimes. We do not spend alot of time together because its been a mainly long distance relationship.
I will always be there for my child and I will always support my child no matter what. I’m just concerned about my relationship which is making me so unhappy lately. I don’t know if I want to be in it or out of it most of the time.
by the way I am not possessive either.

I will try to make this as short as i can. We are both young. He’s gone to a small school all of his life. I have had a lot of experience with relationships, he hasn’t. All of the guys I’ve dated in the past ended up using me, i tend to fall for guys that are wrong for me. He is different and I’m not just saying that because of infatuation. He is shy, funny, I wont go in to detail but he is really great. We have known each other for about a year but haven’t really been together for a long period of time. His step father has a job 663 miles away from me. He said that he can visit as often as he can about once a month or once every 2 months I’m guessing. We spent A LOT of time together before he left. i feel really sad and miss him a lot, i feel like I’m having withdrawals from him. He’s been fairly good about talking to me but this is the second day of us not really talking. He is on vacation so i understand. but i miss him soooo much :/ He said he wants to continue the relationship and he is really awesome and cool about us. I’m worried that i’m not mature enough for a relationship like this. i know he wont cheat. and i want to say that i wont and im pretty sure i wont. its hard for me to not have him around. ADVICE PLEASE! AND BE TRUTHFUL BUT OPTIMISTIC :) )
thanks SO MUCH!!!
he’s my boyfriend i obviously have his phone #

FWB relationship, advice please?

i dated this guy for a little over 3 years back in highscool and its been like 5 years since we split and he just recently broke up with his g/f of 4 years. during this duration we have spoke a couple times i even got a drunk phone call er two from time to time where he would say some dirty stuff. about a week after they broke up i got an e-mail from him. and then it turned into him giving me his number and when we talked on the phone he suggested a friends with benifits relationship which i have liked this guy for years i have always regreted breaking up with him so i was like a chance to see him and have sex. i was like sure this should be fun.
he made it very clear he didnt want me getting the wrong impression about us. which he knew from the get go i liked him but i agreed. well my sister and her husband asked me to go hang out with them and they happend to invite him to come along because they were all friends. and the whole day he treated my like i was his g/f which confused me. like he would pull me close so he could put his arm around me i mean little things like that. then that night we all drank and we ended up having sex. probably the greatest sex ever!lol :) and the way it happend didnt seem like he just wanted to be friend with benefits. basically he was givin me wierd signals all day and even that night. and then the next morning he acted all wierd. when he left my sisters he didnt even talk to me he could barely look at me. i guess i am just confused i am not sure if he regrets it. or maybe he didnt intend on likeing it as much as he did. i just need to know if these are signs he may be more into me then he is leading on or what i guess i am not sure what to do in this situation. any advice would be appreciated. (sorry so long)

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