relationship problems, I need advice?
I’ve been in my current relationship for almost 4 years. I admit I’m not perfect, and I don’t always do things as well as I’d like to do them or as fast. Lately, my boyfriend keeps talking about “how i’m too slow”, “how I’ve changed for the worse” and “how I never do anything he asks” and that I need to change the way I am or he’s going to end the relationship. I want to change, actually, but at the same time, he’s “Mr. I’m almost perfect and I’m never wrong”, not to mention he has a major temper and a short fuse on it, and won’t admit he himself has issues. Earlier today we were on lunch. He was angry his computer wasn’t working right, then started yelling at me about how the house was dirty and how I did NOTHING to help out, ever. Then constantly yelled at me over and over “what’s you’re problem?!” and even took a screwdriver and punched a hole in the door…He’s never hurt me and he’s not abusive, but he’s really starting to worry me. We’ve worked through this before, but any time he’s angry and i’m around “I’ve got problems that I need to fix or we’re through” but he’s not willing to work on himself. I don’t care about his imperfections, I’ve come to accept them. One minute he’s calm and loving, but then the next he’s yelling and screaming and breaking things. I feel like he just can’t accept me for who I am and wants me to be someone different sometimes. What should I do? Should I make him work on his problems too? should we work on our problems together? Am I overreacting? Is it time to call it quits? I’m so confused…Any advice will help me. Thanks.
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Filed under: Ending a Relationship
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If anything you are under reacting. The fact that he is telling you about all your problems and not admitting to his flaws tells me he is an emotionally abusive partner. He has a bad temper. Not every man gets so pissed that they punch a hole in a door. Men like that only get worse, and if you plan on having kids in the future I would get out while you still can. You don’t need him around, my advice is dump him and don’t look back.
^ What M N said.
This sounds like the beginnings of an abusive relationship if it’s not already well into that territory. Why is he screaming and going bonkers at you all the time? Why the HELL is he punching a hole in a door with a screwdriver?
This may not be what you want to hear, but I hope you get out fast and make a clean break. /:
Good luck!
I would be worried, if I was in the same situation as you. This issue is only going to get worse if something is not done about it. There is a clear sign that your partner is not happy for what ever the reason is, and if nothing is done he will only get more angry. My brother went through this with his partner in fact it sounds exactly the same. He first had a bad temper then he started to throw things and his whole body language was negative. In the end my sister in law ended up leaving him, he couldn’t stand to be with out her so he saughted for help, anger management classes. They separated for a while then once she could see he had changed she gave him another chance, Things have turned out well for them and they now have two lovely children. The moral of this story is dont ignore what is going on as it will only get worse.
Good luck and I wish you all the best in the future