Does my ex girlfriend really hate me, or is she just hurt? And how do I repair things?
Here’s the deal, my ex and I broke up about 9 months ago. It was mutual. And it didn’t have anything to do with cheating or anything horrible. So anyway, we were still cool and we hung out. Sometimes she acted like she wanted to get back together and other times she wouldn’t. We would go out on dates and we would even have sex (which was probably an unwise thing to do. Anyway, she told me that she did not want to be in a relationship and that she didn’t mind if I dated other girls, and that we had a no strings attached relationship. So I truly believed that she didn’t care. So I started to date someone else. Well my ex got really pissed and jealous. I reminded her that she told me that wouldn’t mind. Her response, “I didn’t think that you actually would.” Then she said. “We were supposed to be working on our relationship.” What relationship? The same relationship that she didn’t want to be in? SHE ACTS CRAZY SOMETIMES! Anyway, it got very ugly and she began to say horrible things about me and the girl I was dating. I was mad at her for being mad at me, then I said some things that I should not have. My mistake. Since then, we have not spoken in almost seven months. She acts like she hates my ever lovin’ guts. I’ll smile and say hello in passing (we work at the same place) and she will completely ignore me. I recently tried to bury the hatchet and I e-mailed her to apologize, but I got no response. Now, she’s dating this new guy, who she is apparently “so in love with.” Yes, he’s a nice guy, but she at one time, thought he was gay and was hitting on me (he’s not the most manly man). Anyway, does she really hate me, or is she just mad at herself and hurt. Because she acts acts like she really hates me, y’know the kind of hate that you would give to an ex that cheated on you, but I never cheated on her. And what more can I do to help to forgive me. I truly didn’t know what she wanted from me.
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I think she is just hurt but she should be over it by now hasnt it been over a year?
you guys arent supposed to be together. you are obviously on two different pages. she is doing the typical girl thing by telling you one thing and hoping youll do the other. you did the typical guy thing and took her literally without thinking perhaps outside of the box. thats the problem with male and female communication–are brains work differently and i dont think well ever understand eachother. anyways…you moved on to another girl and she has now moved onto another guy whether he is feminine or not. let it go…your relationship with her is plainly over. and there has been too much damage to even bother trying to repair it. with time and maturity you guys can maybe one day be friends. but if you ever get to that point just remember you guys are not romantically compatible and to keep the friendship a friendship and not a friends with benefits deal. that NEVER works. good luck to you and just leave her alone. if she wants to “forgive” you onw day she will….and if not then fine.
Your GF was confused about what she wanted, you or her freedom. Either way I believe your relationship with her was going to end. She’s playing games with herself and you, by saying you’re in an open relationship then saying it was basically a test of your commitment.
No one needs game playing like this in a relationship.
After you failed her staged test she condemned you and now shuns you, even though the whole thing wouldn’t have happened unless she set it in motion.
Do you really want a life long relationship with someone who plays such nasty games?
Think this over and start dating again.
That sucks bro!!! You broke her heart, and now the only thing you can do if she isnt responding is let her be…Wish her the best and offer yourself if she ever needs you. I know you didnt do anything but you kind of did…When a women says she dosnt care…She does!!!! And when you add sex in the middle, girls get emotional attached. Thats something men seem not to have a problem with. Just let her be happy!! And if she’s happy with that other guy, so be it…Sorry
I think that she was trying to manipulate you. She didn’t want to be in the relationship with you, but got mad when she found out that you had a gf? She’s probably just jealous that’s all. You did your part on apologizing, even though there is no need to, so the ball is in her court now. Do not write her, call her, ect anymore. Let her be. You can still speak since you say you work in the same place, but other then that, let it go. Good luck.
IDIOT!!!! when a girl says i dont mind if you go out with other girls THATS LIKE A FREAKING DISTRESS SIGNAL!
omfg she probably wants to rip ur guts out and make you eat it..so for now leave her be.
i cant promise anything but if ur desperate then go to her when she is alone and u must be honest to her and yourself cause you really screwed up man. say how sorry you are and how ur feeling(this must come from the heart) if she cry hold her. if she gets angry leave and dont say a thing.
thats all you can do really….good luck man..
You tell him bro(sis?)
damn…men these days…It’s like men have zero IQ when it comes to realationships -_-
Hahahaha, here is to all men that didn’t get the memo! In pretty much 98% of the time when we say “oh yea, sure, no strings attached, let’s just sleep together” we DO-NOT-MEAN-IT!!!!
We say those things so you think we’re all strong and independent hoping that you’ll fall in love with that or are at least attracted to that!
Don’t get me wrong, we CAN have one night stands and a short affair maybe but the longer it goes on the more I would advice you to read what I said above carefully!
So, yes, in the beginning she was very hurt that her plan didn’t quite work.she thought you guys would take it easy but that at least you would really really like her..a lot. She thought as long as you felt that deeply attracted to her, she would not mind having this open relationship. In a way it can be cool to have that free and grown-up kinda thing goin because it shows you are strongly connected- she thought. Then it turns out that you actually didn’t care about her and you did not have the same feeling. She felt unimportant, very unimportant and as if all the reasons why you broke up were justified after all cause you don’t care.
Well, but now she has somebody else and a lot of time has passed so now I don’t know if she really hates you. I think she is just hurt and wants to make sure that what happened twice won’t repeat itself so she stays away. Cause now she is up on her own feet so why risk getting hurt again. Not sure what to do there. Not much you can do.
You’re wrong about it not having anything to do with anything horrible…. at least for the confrontation you two had 7 months ago AFTER the initial breakup.
If you didn’t discuss it and BOTH understand it, then you were NOT “working on our relationship”. That was her delusion if it wasn’t mutually understood by BOTH of you. Since she stated she “didn’t want to be in a relationship” and “didn’t care” if you dated others, then she was dishonest when she chose to get pissed nad jealous of you for dating others. She should not have said she didn’t care if you dated others, if she didn’t expect (or want) you to do that.
When you broke up 9 mo ago, you didn’t HAVE any relationship, really. But you confused the issue by hanging out nad having sex, all of which was stupid to do.
If you see her in the future, just ignore her. LET HER GO! All your interactions with her indicate you’ve never yet let her go. It’s none of your business who she’s dating now or how she feels about him. You’re sitting there waiting for someone to come back to you who will never give you a health relationship. You are wasting your time waiting for her and you’re letting her deny you the ability to get on with your life and find someone who is RIGHT for you. You need to learn how to have a healthy male/female relationship. You don’t know how to do that yet. Cheating on each other is NOT the only reason to break up. You don’t need to do anything to be forgiven by her. You DO need to learn how to have a healthy relationship and find SOMEONE ELSE to have one with.
It doesn’t matter what she wanted from you. She probably didn’t actually know. Many people have unhealthy relationships with the first person they fall in love with, and these relationships don’t survive. You’re supposed to learn from it how to have a healthy relationship with the next good person you meet that you fall in love with. We all have more than one person in this world whom we can love.
cw
I think you need to get control of your relationship. Check out this link for ways to get some real tips and tactics.
Okay, heres the deal… LISTEN TO ME, because IM a GIRL and IM the same way with my ex… She still had feelings for you honey. She wanted to find a way to make the relationship work but at the same time she didnt want to be with you because she thought that by being friends she will be able to get to know you better and eventually when you two did get back together, the two of you would be closer and have a stronger relationship than the one before. sometimes girls think that being friends is the best solution to getting something good back on track. She wanted to be with you, but not at the momment because she wanted to build the relationship with you brick by brick. she wanted to see what broke up the relationship so that she can find a way to do better the next time… She really did care about you, even when she said for you to get a new girlfriend… she was just saying that to cover the fact that she still felt connected to you… friends love each other for thier faults and inperfections. she wanted to get to know you better and learn more about you because she felt that she didnt know you enough while you two were together. with my ex, I want to be friends with him becuase I want to have that strong connection with him so that when we do get back together, we’ll be a more stable couple. I do still get jealous because, well, I have feelings for him and Im trying to work on a way to get our future relationship back on track(we are off and on) and Im SURE she felt the same way. she wanted to be with you but not at the momment because she knew that if she got back with you right away it’ll just fall apart all over agian and she didnt want that. All good things are worth waiting for and you were good enough that, despite her emotions for you, she was willing to wait to build something much stronger. and you wan’t to know what else? Even now when shes acting as if she hates you, she still cares about you. She only brags about that guy to make you jealous because you made HER jealous when you got with that girl. girl like to play and eye for an eye, what ever you do, she does too to make you feel how she felt. She was jealous, and now shes making you jealous… just comfront her. Go to her one day and put your foot down and talk to her, apologize for making her jealous, tell her you still care for her and that you want to be friends with her because she was once an important part of your life and you still want her to be in your life, but this time just as a friend… that’ll touch her, really thats what she wants, to hear that you still care for her because remember– she still cared for you, she just didnt admit it…
That explians everything