How Does An Adult Detach Emotionally From A Relationship?
I have been living with a guy I have known for about 5 years. He doesn’t like the “couple” thing so when we’ve done repairs to the house or have gone on trips, he never includes me when describing the events to others. Listening to him, I believe I’m living with Superman! He seems to want to live in an “options-open” relationship. In addition, he is still in weekly contact with an ex-girlfriend. They flirt with each other on line and they email constantly. The worst part is he tells me my Puritanical Christian beliefs are to blame and I should be more open. He also says I have made his world too small because it bothers me when he talks about other hot women or he openly drools over them.
It makes me heart sick to think of leaving him and it makes me sick to accept his behavior and to continually take the blame and try to improve and prove myself to him.
I need to get out of this relationship before there’s nothing left of me.
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Tagged with: Adult • Detach • Emotionally • From • Relationship
Filed under: Relationship Advice
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Honey… get out of this relationship(if u can call it that)!!! He is walking all over you. You deserve more respect. Only a woman with low self esteem would put up w/ that!! Don’t let him put you down. Detatch yourself from him, start going out with other respectful guys. You need to go out w/ someone that will treat you like a lady should be treated!! With dignnity and respect!!!He sounds like a creep!!!
you are absolutely right to get out of this relationship. i give you the heads up definately for that. forget his views. find someone to appreciate you. if he wants an “open relationship” he doesnt need to bother with a ‘girlfriend’. he’s a moron. i am glad you saw that. but i know you care for him, but down the road you will see he was a prime example of a feebish stupid irresponsible idiotic useless piece of silly putty. he doesnt apreciate any part of you!
that’s right sweetie, move one b4 you get deeper into falling for a jerk who aint worth the time on a clock! dont worry, it may take awhile, but dont give up. there’s a guy who will appreciate you and our efforts. its not him, like you said and i am glad you had the honesty to admit it though it hurts. get rid o him! i cant wait for you to hear about him in a couple of years where someone he was lolly for dumped him and trampled on his party. lets see how he’ll feel then.
keep in mind every dawg has its day, and what comes around goes around, and half of him will be spinning before you get to completey get out of his system. be __ tuff. be well good luck! i am proud of you! god knows i am !
First of all you ARE a couple, whether he likes it or not, You live together, sleep together (presumably), take vacations together, and while he is flirting with or talking about other women I guess that you two are exclusive to each other. I hate it when people put so much weight on titles. You are what you are, and you two are a couple. Unless I’m wrong and you two are just living together and sleeping with everyone else but obviously thats not the case. Theres no such thing as an “options-open” relationship. Thats what we in America call the booty call and thats not what you are. So next time he pulls that we’re not a couple bs, you point out all the things that do make you a couple, and tell him that thats what yall are and he should accept it or shove off. You really shouldn’t allow him to degrade you that way, you’re worth far more than that. Put your foot down and tell him what the deal is, if he he can’t accept that, hes not worth the effort, i promise. Good luck and be strong, remember you are the sh*t.
Why on earth did you walk into that relationship in the first place?
Yes leave him while you still have your dignity.
This man doesn’t want to commit to you in any way and he doesn’t plan to in the future. He doesn’t love you and he is just using you to feel good for the moment. You’re right you need to get out of this so-called “relationship”.
His world is small, but his brain is even smaller. You too don’t have the same values or morals and that’s a big deal in any relationship. You shouldn’t be trying to improve or change to please this guy. Instead, give yourself a chance to meet people who share your same beliefs and understand what a commitment is. You deserve to be happy but you need to set yourself free, first.
I was once in a situation almost like yours, difference is… i didn’t feel that there’s anything wrong coz whatever she does or acts i blame it on her growing up in a really broken family.
When i was sent to another country to study, that is when i slowly realized that she was just using me, still thinking that she loves me…, but she doesn’t seem to realize she’s choking me by the neck, destroying my relationship with my family, failing in my university….
Sorry for the details…
GET OUT OF THE BOX! Go to another town or country, live life, work, party… more advantage coz things/places are unfamiliar so you’ll easily forget that worthless brat.
won’t be easy at first but then you’ll realize what you have missed in life while you’re with him.
Wish you all the luck!
Be safe!
There is something inside you that needs to be worked on through counseling.You are using this man to punish yourself.
You seem to feel the necesity to suffer,to be a martyr.Take yourself to a psychologist and work it all out.
He isn’t going to change. So if you want to continue in this relationship then accept it. If you don’t want to accept it then it’s time to get out.
He has had his cake and was eating too so why would he want it any other way.
One might wonder why his girlfriend became his x?? Was she not willing to stand by and watch the type of behavior you have been subjected too???
Your heart might be sick when you leave him however hearts do heal. It’s much more difficult to bounce back from the self esteem he has taken from you while you have been in this relationship.
Best of Luck to you.
Yes you do.You are worth more than that.
He wants the convenience of live-in “booty call” along with any cooking, cleaning and laundry you do for him, but none of the monogamy. The longer you stay in this unhealthy situation (I wouldn’t call it a relationship), the more it harms your self esteem. If he wants to flirt with his ex-gf or drool over hot women, let him do it on HIS time, without you in the picture.
Please leave this lout and do seek counseling to re-build your self esteem. The way this guy treats you is sickening. Please stop allowing it!