how to get through a breakup?
well I had a relationship in august 07 until july 08 and the guy just picked up and left me, didn’t say why and wouldnt talk to me at all.. and so I got the hint, the next week I hooked up with a guy with no problem and it kind of helped me forget about him.
Then in December 08 I started talkin to this guy who was in jail and he was due to get out soon, we hit it off great and i visited him 4 times a week and we fell in love. He was the first guy I ever told I loved them. He told me about his past that he used to be a player and cheated on his girlfriends all the time but he “wasn’t like that anymore” and he “wanted to settle down with the woman he loves” so he gets out in april, we are doing great, he is bleeding me dry with the “buy me this, buy me that” routine, and i’m a sucker to make people happy. I got him a phone as part of a family plan under my name.
then one day his phone breaks so i take it to get repaired, and after it was repaired, just out of curiosity I went through his phone and found pictures sent and received to girls of them naked and texts to his ex f-buddies saying “oh do you miss my dick?” and “dream of me tonight”
So of course he finds a bs excuse to shut me up, but after that I lost all feelings for him, i was devastated, as any girl would be.
Then about 3 weeks later I finally got the courage to leave him, and we continued talking but we kept arguing, then we got into a huge argument that basically ended the relationship about a month ago, and i haven’t talked to him since.
Now i’m on the market again so to speak, but I really enjoy being single, but at the same time i need sex to satisfy my needs (as we all do).. and i’ve talked to some guys about hooking up, of course they are in to it, but when they want to make plans I get nervous and ignore them because i’m too scared to hook up. I never was like this after my last break up. Does anyone have any idea as to why I am straying away from it? I mean i really would like sex but I just can’t give myself out like that right now and I wish it would change. what can i do to change my mind? I don’t want to be depressed anymore..
hah osaka i agree 
my friend told me about the alcohol idea too i am guessing this might be my only way of overcoming my fear of sex with another guy, especially after i promised my life to this guy and dedicated my body to just him!
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The guys sounded like a bum, I am happy that you left him. You are on the rebound now but maybe at the same time have little trust of men because of what happened. You may not think this is true but it is somewhere deep in your mind. The best way to hinder those feelings is to go out with a guy and drink like a fish. Alcohol is unhealthy but it will lead you to sex and help your confidence when you get sober again.
Hah, that same thing happened to me. I used to be able to hook up or rebound after a break up. I was with a guy for two years and we would break up off and on. I finally just ended it because he disappeared for three days and he recently got a job, his first job, makes more money than me, and after all I did for him, buying plane tickets for him, I even bought him a new phone and he complained ecause it was scratched. Anyway he owed me money and wouldnt pay it. I thought it was selfish and it was the last straw that told me theres no way he loves me. So anway the reason you and I cant just hook up with a guy is because we are both depressed, at a loss of interest, and are sickened by it all. We know that a hook up wont solve the problem. But the biggest part of it all is that we are sick of giving to men who dont deserve it. Whether its paying for minutes or having sex, got nothing more to give and there nothing left to take. You that little heart shaped paper they show you in middle school of what happens to your heart each time you give a piece of it away to a guy. Well, weve got one piece left now, and we need to be selfish now.