relationship advice…do i stay or go? possible infidelity.broken trust for sure !?
here are the details. first of all..i am a decent looking, confident and pregnant woman in a relationship with a somewhat younger guy.. on our sons b-day, i found out that he hit on my friend( like a niece to me. he asked her “So when you gonna let me hit that?) and my sister overheard. they told me the next morning..they didnt want to ruin the party. the next morning my other girl friend called and realized i was upset..so i told her what happened, she then proceeded to tell me that when they had dinner one night a week before (i trust her and she asked first to make sure iwas ok with it) after they came back hom, she carried my 2 year old into the house and laid him on the bed cuz he was sleeping..my bf tried to lay on top of her .. she told him to get off..asked him why he would disrepect her and me? she didnt want to tell me until she heard it happened with my niece. this was 6 weeks ago and i am now 37 weeks pregnant with our 2nd. due any time!! more issues ..
mind you, being pregnant, i dont feel much for being sexual at all. i have like 0 interest in it. I have asked my bf to educate himself and find out that what i am saying is true..its not about him..its my hormones..i just have no interest in sex. but he takes it personal. so he pressures me daily for sex.. and now i resent him for that. it makes me hate sex more. when he pressures me and i say no..he then proceeds to get angry ( he says disappointed) with me and gives me attitude.. for example, yesterday, he said i had to accept him as he is , with attitude and all or i can tell him to leave) it seems like he is doing everything in his power to force me to kick him out..like he doesnt have the courage to tell me he wants out. he is building this brick wall that is getting higher and higher to the point that we wont be able to get over this..i am now seriously considering having my baby by myself..without him in the room..i dont feel emotionally connected to him right now ..
he is to make my feeling for him non existent. we have been together for 3 1/2 years now and its doesnt seem to get any better. i feel his priority is SEX… nothing else seems to matter to him. i work 10 hours, come home and have to feed the animals, clean the house, do the dishes, laundry, take care of baby, water grass etc while ithe only thing he does is cook .. i clean up after. and i am gonna have this baby anytime!! i know i should probably get out…my family says that i am not the happy person i used to be…i just tolerate it all. i wanted to try and keep the family together for the sake of the kids .. but maybe that isnt the best idea anymore..
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OMG! Get rid of him! Make him pay you tons of child support! What a jerk!!!
He’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Dump him and don’t forget to hit him up for child support payments.
What is wrong with you??? You think it’s ok to have a boyfriend who treats you this way? Send your two-timing, cheating, boyfriend packing and be a MOTHER to your children. That is your one and only priority!!!!! You can get a new idiot boyfriend 18 years from now if that’s what you want… or, gee, maybe you might find someone who will respect you, protect you, be true to you, and love you and your children someday? That is how a REAL MAN and FATHER would treat the one’s he loves. Did you ever consider that possibility? Quit blaming your stupidity on being pregnant. Grow up.
Wow I’m really sorry. That sounds really hard to deal with. Your boyfriend sounds like an inconsiderate slime ball that needs to be ushered out of your house as soon as possible. If he’s trying to get on top of your friends even though he knows they may tell you, just think of what he does to other women that don’t know you and could never tell you what happened. I’m sorry to say that but it’s true. You can’t trust him. You need to get as far away from him as possible. You should have your baby by yourself and carry on. You will meet someone worthy of you. You deserve to be much happier and treated better.
No one can tell you whether to stay or go except you and from what you are saying I think you know what you want you are just scared. No man or woman has the right to disrespect the one they claim to love this way and what is worse he is disrespecting yur kids as well. He was hitting on a friend of yours with your child right there. Do you really want to stay for your kids when he is doing that so that they can grow up and think that this is normal behavoir and then fall into a relationship themselves someday and be treated the same way? You deserve to be happy, your kids deserve to be happy and it is up to you to find that happiness. Sounds like you have a lot of people that care about you and want you to be happy so let them help you and be your support throw him to the curb and build a new life with you and your kids.
Get rid of him. Even if he technically hasn’t been unfaithful, he is obviously looking to be. If he will pursue close friends and family members, he will definately pursue anyone walking down the street. Wouldn’t you rather have a good male role model in your children’s lives? Good luck.
He is not being a decent man to the mother of his children.
How many things do you need to see that the relationship is not making progress? I agree that you should be giving him some sort of sex….at least figuring out a working way of making it somewhat regularly. Just because men need sex…even orally…
But in the same breath I would say that other things like almost cheating on you say that there is something majorly wrong with the relationship.
You are 37 weeks pregnant…you shouldn’t be worrying about the loyalty of your man!
I can’t begin to know what I would do in your situation..but for now, try to consider my thoughts below:
*you are about to have a baby….just do what you have to do for the next 2 months or so. You can’t do everything, so focus on your baby.
*After the baby is born and you can have sex again…see if that makes a difference in your relationship. See if he is more interested in you once the immediate newborn isn’t the only focus.
*Try to recreate the love. Ask him if he is going to step up to the plate and be a father. Did you pick to do everything…it isn’t fair. Try counseling.
*Consider all your options. If he can’t be the man that you need…then maybe you need something else. Sounds like you work your butt off…he should be amazed. I am!
*End the relationship if you have too. I wouldn’t want to, but if you aren’t even the same person….then he is breaking you down.
It is sad when men start families and then don’t manage to be the man. I feel really bad…and he should too. His sexual attempts at your friends are appalling…You might even want to confront him on that…
But for now..focus on your family. Focus on the baby. Try to relax and be smart about it all.
You deserve better…think of a plan to get what you need.
I’m pregnant too and i know that it is hard enough being pregnant and taking care of children, the house, having to work and clean, you sure don’t need the added stress from this @$$hole, I know that in your heart you want things to work out and you want the happy little family, but this man that you are with is not the one to make you or your children happy. He is disrespectful, a liar, a cheat and selfish, you and your children deserve more. Leave him now while the kids are still young, it will hurt less. Don’t keep holding on for him to change, because he’s not going to. Your not going to leave him no matter what anyone says, untill you are ready so i pray for you that you are ready and that God will help you to be strong.
Get rid of him. It isn’t going to get any better…he can swear up and down he’s going to change, or he was just kidding or whatever his stupid excuse will be, but it won’t. Guys like that give guys like me a bad name. They are pathetic and insecure. Trust is key in a relationship, once that’s gone it won’t be back. I know, after my ex-wife spent more than all our money and decided to get a new “friend” while I was out working, the trust was gone and shortly there after so was she. It was devastating, because I was so committed to her…but it was better for me in the long run. Kids are not a reason for keeping the appearance of a relationship. My 7 year old little guy idolizes me and he is ther most important person inmy life. We spend most of our time apart have such a good time together when we are. Kids are resilient and adjust to the surroundings. Besides…he has to help with child support and you have some good friends for support too it seems. Am i rambling now? Sorry……..hope this helps