We’ve been together officially for 3 months (Come July 5th). I feel like he is perfect in every way. He’s sweet, he’s handsom, he’s tallented, he’s funny. I had a crush on him ever since I saw him before we got together.
Then we got together and I was in heaven.
One time, he had a cast party, and I got so drunk and threw up all over him and his car that night, and he took me back to his house and took care of me.
We used to hang out till, like, 4am at his house and we’d do “stuff”, but then, a week ago, he told me that he’s been really tired lately and he wanted to make sure he started getting his 8 hours of sleep.
Tuesday, we hung out, but he mentioned the time, and then it got weird, because I kept thinking “Should I leave? Should I leave?” and he just wanted to cuddle a little longer I guess.
several times, we’ve had incidents i guess, where I’d feel like there was a time limit on our time together and then when I had to leave, I kind of pouted.
On Tuesday, It was weird, because I was trying really hard not to pout and to leave nicely, but I ended up somewhere between the 2.
Every time I did kind of pout when it came time to leave, I felt terrible about it right after I did it and would apologize.
Once or twice (out of like, 3 times maybe?) I’d bake him cookies or something.
On Friday, our show made it to best of fest, and he wanted to go home because he was exhausted and tired, so I said I was going home. I left and he called me. I missed it, but I called him back when I got home. he was like “I just got home” and he was just telling me that, which I did know, but I was like “Ok, it’s fine. We don’t have to talk” which was moody of me, (i might just be pmsing? but still I know I shouldn’t be that way) and he was like “What? No…. I want to talk to you.” So we talked, but later on the phone, he told me that he felt like we just hadn’t been connecting lately and it was moments like earlier (which I just told you). Idk what else. It was weird. It wasn’t like we were fighting, just discussing really, but it was a really weird sad, upsetting conversation. I was like, hesitantly “I don’t know. What do you want to do? Do you want to break up?” and he was like “No. I don’t know. No.” which made me feel sad and terrible. Then I said “I know I don’t want to break up.”
That conversation ended weird and he said I should go to sleep, so we hung up. but then I called him back 5 minutes later because I felt so bad I couldn’t go to sleep. We talked, and it was a better conversation and after that, I went to sleep (for about an hour and a half before I woke up and felt terrible again). When I saw him the next day, it was kind of weird. Then I took him outside and kissed him and said somethings about “This is weird, I know you feel it too, let’s not make it weird” I don’t know, other things but that was basically it. Then I said “Thank you” and he said “for what?” and I said “This” and things were better that night after that.
Not quite perfectly normal yet, but better. I thought things would get better after that. We hung out the next day (today) and things were seeming to be going well. Things seemed to be almost back to normal. I didn’t expect them to be perfectly there yet, but I felt so much better about it, and every time he would kiss me or touch my hand, I felt better.
Then, later (tonight) we were at his house on the couch. We played instruments together, and then we were cuddling on his couch reading fmylife.com and I stand up to adjust my skirt and when I do that, he puts his laptop away, and we end up just cuddling on his couch. I thought how much I wanted to go up to his bedroom, but I wasn’t going to say anything because he might not want to or be ready to after the other night, so we just lay there in silence cuddling. We wern’t kissing or anything. He yawned and I asked him if he was tired (so if I should leave, i’m really trying to be better about leaving) he said yeah, but he wanted to call it a night at midnight, so we go back to cuddling, but I can’t stop thinking “Should I leave? Should I leave? Should I leave?” because I feel like there’s now a time limit on our time, and I’m not sure what I should do.
After awhile of just cuddling in silence (but I felt it was a comfortable silence) he asks me what I’m thinking about and I shrug it off. he really wants to know then, so I tell him “I guess I’m just thinking ’should I leave’?” and then he (and the moment) changed. it was like the other night on the phone. He said stuff like “It’s stuff like this, i just feel like we havn’t been conecting like we used to lately. We have moments where we don’t know what to talk about.” and I tell him that yeah, yesterday was weird, and I was sorry about everything, but I felt like today was a good day and that the silences were comfortable and nice and not weird. he told me that he enjoyed today, and liked spending time with me, but every time he kissed me, he felt guilty because he felt weird li
we hadn’t been connecting lately. I asked him why and he said “I don’t know.” I asked him why and how to explain alot of things he tried to explain and he said “I don’t know” alot.
I’ve loved him ever since he took care of me when I was drunk. I havn’t told him because he hasn’t told me he loves me. My friend told me that if he doesn’t love me by now (even/especially after we’ve done intimate things) then he’s never going to love me.
I asked him if he wanted to take a week off and think about things. He said yes. So that’s what we’re going to do I guess.
I feel so awful though and upset. I feel like after a week away, he’s going to break up with me.
A week away will give him time to “soften the blow” or w/e. I’M NOT SURE!
My dad says that after a week, he could realize how much he misses me.
I don’t know. I feel so awful. I love him and feel terrible about the pouting and stuff. I really want to change and I am trying. It might be (too late though. Is it too late? Is he
shes a good girl.. i just feel like shes not for me anymore. please give me your advise.. i appreciate it greatly.
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