We started as a fling and open relationship but we need to be honest with each other. then we become really close and become a couple officially.
problem 1: I lied to her about sleeping with another person during our open relationship
Problem 2: I have 2 kids and i still keep in contact with my ex fiancee
Problem 3: We lived in a different city
problem 4: I lied to her about talking to her friend behind her back because i needed advise.
problem 5: I talk bad to my ex fiancee about our problem
problem 6: I am not open about my relationship to my family and friends
problem 7: i never sacrifice for her.

I have feeling for her and i love her. But i have done to many mistake and some of the problem; it wasn’t intentionally due to my situation with my kids. Please help, i need advise…
What if i want to change? we just started to express the way we feel for each other 2 week ago. We been together 8 months.I dont know how to go through my life without her. She is so good to me. can anybody advise me?

I was with my boyfriend for almost 5 months and ever since we broke up I haven’t been able to sleep much,concentrate,or sing well(which is bad because I’m the lead in a band).I don’t know if this is really a major problem that will last or if I’m just being mellow-dramatic.Please help me.

Even when Im with my boyfriend I think about and miss him lots…am i a bad girlfriend..I wouldnt dare tell him how I feel..I hear guys hate hearing about your ex..That would kill him! Do i just ride this out.?

After an 8 month relationship, I broke up w/ my boyfriend because I felt like he was not romantic + was always too cold. Then immediately I started talking 2 my old ex-boyfriend whom I once had a 2.5 yr long relationship w/ way before this recent one. Suddenly my 8mo. ex-boyfriend wants me back saying that he will change, so I accept + we become an official couple again. I still am talking to my 2.5yr long ex but with no intent of getting back together. We just spoke as friends, yet I still felt a strong comfort so we txt each other once sayin that we love each other(which in reality I dont + I did a mistake). Yesterday my boyfriend went through my phone + saw everything including recent calls + those single txts. Now he is sayin that he cant believe it since its not the 1st time it happens 2 him. I really care + dont want 2 loose him. I even think I Love him after almost 9 months but I dont know how 2 break it 2 him especially since he is not goin 2 believe in me anymore. AdvicePlease
I will do anything to keep him, I just dont want to loose him. I know I did a mistake with my ex-boyfriend espesially since I told him I loved him which was not true. I love my current boyfriend and I just dont want him to leave me. What can I do to keep him and get him to trust me again, because I know I will not ever do it again. Help me with advice please, thank you

Hello guys,

Sorry this story is so long but I’ll hand out points whenever possible!

Basically, the background of this story is that my ex-girlfriend Erinne dumped me about 7 months ago last August. We’ve dated each other for 2 years and have known each other for a total of 4 years. I am a junior in college currently graduating in one more year and she is a sophomore graduating in 3 more years.

About 5 months ago around October, Erinne started liking my ex-friend named Matt. He basically kissed her one night even though he had a girlfriend at the time and even talked her into spending the night at his apartment. He basically played her and knows it. She felt really bad about it and told me that she still really liked me and could only think about me. I forgave her and tried to move on.

Up until about the event listed above and a few weeks ago, I seriously thought that we were finally beginning to work things out and would eventually get back together. Erinne would say that she loved me and that she was ready to live with me next year and that she did not like Matt except in a friend way. She also made me a really nice Valentine’s Day gift last month that contained a note on how much she really truly loved me and how I would be the only one that she ever would. Also, around January, Matt broke up with his girlfriend of 2 years.

Flash forward to abou 2 weeks ago. I saw Matt in Erinne’s dorm room and I confronted her about it and told her that either I had to leave or he had to leave and we decided to not talk for a week even though she broke down and called after about 3 days and I stupidly called her back. After the week was over, I met up with her which was about 5 days ago and we got into an argument. Actually, she did most of the yelling and said that she really hated me and that it was my fault that we broke up originally and even pushed me a few times (I’m bigger than her so it didn’t hurt or anything).

2 days after our argument, I found out that Erinne was starting to sleep at Matt’s place constantly again and some of my college friends even already saw them kissing. I basically cracked down after finding this out and even chipped a bone in my knuckle when I punched concrete out of frustration. 3 days after the argument, I told Erinne through a friend I wanted the rest of my stuff back. 4 days after the argument, she finally gave me back all my stuff like my clothes. During this time, she refused to give me back some of my stuff until she could see me again and apologize for what she said to me during the argument.

When she started talking to me, I basically grew angry at her because she told me that I had to stay away from her friends on her dorm floor but they’re also my friends because I go to the gym with them and stuff and I found it unfair that she could start dating Matt who was my ex-friend. Also, she wanted me to sit down so she could leave me and walk away from me. I told her that I would not because I wouldn’t satisfy her ego. Did I do the right thing?

After I got all my stuff back, I talked to one of my mutual friends and she told me that Erinne told her that she was not sleeping over at Matt’s and started being rude to me. I know Erinne was sleeping over there because I actually saw her over at Matt’s place and two of my friend’s also saw it.

I don’t know what to do now because I’m crying every single night and I break down at the most random times. My grades have gone down and I’ve even felt like crying during class. Erinne was my first love and we were each other’s first at everything. I know Matt’s agenda is to just get into her pants and it really bugs me everyday. I like to think I hate Erinne with every part of my body but my emotions says otherwise. I don’t understand why she lied to me about her feelings towards Matt and why she would throw a 4 year relationship down the drain. I know that I’m better off without her but I felt like I was screwed for so long and I don’t know how to get myself back together. Last year was very different because we were a lot closer and was discussing about getting married. Does Erinne still love me and why would she do such low things as lying and hurting me. It hurts me a lot every day especially at night considering we used to sleep together. How do I make it stop? Please tell me your opinions about the situation and what I should do now… I also have been in a relationship for most of college so I don’t even know how to meet college girls now and I only have a year of college left. Please help!

Also, I don’t understand how Matt always gets girls to talk to him because he is a big liar and a huge a$$hole. I’ll admit that he is funny but he treats guys like crap and girls better. Do girls honestly fall for this. Is it time for me to change myself to compete also. I’m struggling with myself because I really think that all the girls I find attractive seem to like the bad guys. What do I do? I’ve always respected girls.

After all the lies and suspicious insulting accusations by my ex, ony to find out she was cheating and left me to do it to the next guy, I’m having a hard time not following my gut instinct all the time. I also found out that the same thing happened to the guy before me. This girl is clearly evil and has lots of emotional problems herself that lead her to do things like this, but all I want to know is how to make the pain go away.

I have done some research on emotionally abusive relationships. Everything I have come across describes the need for professional help for the one who was abused. I don’t understand this. Professional help has such a negative sound to it and I thought leaving an abuser would be a happy time for the one who is abused. Why is there a need for professional help? What kinds of emotions or thoughts does one go through after leaving the relationship? Please explain.

I feel our relationship is over, I don’t want to take any more abuse and feel it’s best for us both to move on. Like all abusers my girlfriend isn’t abusive all the time and I still love her so much. This is my first relationship, how do I end it without causing undue pain to her or just blaming her for abusing me? What can I say to her as to why I’m ending it without blaming her and creating bad feeling?

I am in a severely emotionally, financially — and sometimes — physically abusive relationship. I have no family, but I’m afraid the physicial abusive incidents are too few & far between to warrant a stay at a domestic violence shelter as I feel that is more geared toward physical abuse. What can I do?

I have been with my husband for 7 years and we are very happy. He is the loveliest man I have ever known. We truly are soulmates. But, his ex-wife cheated on him and when it comes up in arguments he always cries when he is talking about it, about the cheating and how he doesn’t wish it on anyone. He gets very emotional and it always hurts me very deeply because I feel that means he still loves her. What does it mean? Why does it still hurt him so much if its been so long and he loves me so much. I need this to stop confusing me. Please enlighten me.

To start off, the girl that I’m dating right now has been the absolute highlight of my life for these last 8 months. Sure we fight a little more often then I’d like to, but we never go to bed angry. We always try to sort the fighting out and never let the problem continue if we can help it.

She also used to date my ex-”best friend”. This guy was more or less a dude I played video games with on a consistent basis, I was over at his house alot, we shared the same interests and whatnot, but looking back I would never actually consider him a good friend.

Basically, he treated this girl like sh*t. I was unaware of what he did to her until about the start of this year. I knew that they had had a bad breakup but I wasn’t aware of the emotional abuse that he had put her through. He also used her entirely for sexual purposes, he used her up until the end of summer of 2008 as he had always kind of dangled the prospect of getting back together with her in front of her face. I do not blame her at all for the decisions she made, nor do I hold them in front of her face.

I have cut off all communication with said asswipe, and am entirely devoted to this girl, she is the most beautiful and independent person on the entire planet to me.

I do, however, fear that her previous relationship may jeopardize our relationship. She is very self conscious about things, mostly involving her looks and the way people view her. Now believe me when I say that she is ABSOLUTELY ANGELIC in her beauty. The ex-boyfriend however, consistently degraded her through the use of many things that I wouldn’t feel comfortable posting on this site.

She also is very sexually repressed due to things he did to her. I am in no way, and have in no way forced her to do anything, but I feel as if she now has an innate fear of more than the most minimal amount of sexual feelings due to her last relationship and the sexual abuse that she went through.

Overall, I just want to know what I can do to absolutely prove to her that I am in no way like the ex-boyfriend, and that my love for her stems not from my gonads, but from the depths of my very heart and soul.

Please, help a man, confused, but very in love.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

-The Man who Loves.
I know that in the end she will have to be the one to overcome the problem, but we as people aren’t designed to be alone. People helping people is why the world isn’t a complete pile of sh*t, and is instead just a pile of sh*t with sprinklings of true emotion and love.

So, while I respect your opinion Niny, I am completely disagreeing with you that there is nothing I can do.

I dated my ex for about a year and she found out i was chatting sexually with a girl i hooked up with before and a girl i met through a friend. She confronted me about it and i lied to her, i love her so much and it was truly only lust not love and i never physically cheated on her but it still has the same effect. how can i win her back? any suggestions?

The guy flirts with a girl through text messages. They make a few future plans to be together, possibly live together. He masturbates from sexy messages/pictures of her. Then it ends and he remains with the girlfriend.

Is that a sign that he may not be fully committed to his gf in the long run? Will he keep it a secret and possibly change for her…and things work out in the relationship?

My ex husband cheated on me with a lot of women. How do I trust (anyone) again?

I know that it’s possible to feel emotionally secure in a relationship whenever sex has never been introduced into the relationship. But what if sex had already been introduced? And for some reason one partner decides not to have sex (outside of religious beliefs). What if they live together, sleep in the same bed? Is it healthy?