According to scientist, psychologist and author Todd B. Kashdan, PhD, “Love is about an expansion of the self whereby another person’s interests, values, social network, and finances become part of your life just as you share your resources with them. Love does not mean that you give up everything for another person. Rather, you possess sufficient trust to give them the keys to everything that you can access.”
well i like this guy but some days hes saying stuff like i love you and being nice and playful and those days where he is just quiet. his friend who is a girl helps me to find more about him and he only has ever had 1 girlfriend and he hasn't dated anyone since they broke up which was last year. The girl who is talking to him for me (btw she is only mentioning me in conversations to see what he says she is not asking him out for me..thats weak.) she said that one of her other friends had a crush on him and he said he isn't into her and is not wanting to be in a relationship and this was a while ago not far. But its so hard to tell because she also said that when this guy talks to girls, but not like that she says that to the girl it feels like he likes her to but hes only being friendly. i'm losing hope and i have no idea if we can ever be a thing. i think he is only being friendly but thinking back of all the things he said to me i think he is kind of interested i guess.

I moved to LA after two years in New York, where there are a plethora of guys my age. Unfortunately, though I did go on dates, nothing stuck. Now, I’ve moved across the country. There could be a guy, even a friend of a friend (the perfect set-up!), currently living in New York who would be happy to be my boyfriend, but I’ll never know. Frequently, on the street in New York, I’d walk by a guy I could picture myself dating, and I’d want to blurt out, “What bar will you be at on Saturday, and why weren’t you also at The Jane last Saturday night like I was?!” Which brings me to:
This goes hand in hand with flirting, but I think it deserves a separate section of its own. Compliments are the easiest way to flirt with someone AND help them feel good about themselves. And remember- especially when it comes to males- the compliments don’t need to be three pages long. Something simple like “Wow you look good in red” or simply “Hey there handsome” is enough to put a smile on his face and give him that ego boost every man needs.
I like that this post gets it out of the way. Love and all that other stuff is good and all that for DATING, but for marriage? Money now enters the picture when it didn’t matter so much before. Especially if the woman wants kids. I think a lot of you guys are completely forgetting that fact. Only women can have kids, so if a woman wants to be rich (or at least have enough money to never worry about money again) and have kids (and actually be there for them), what is she meant to do?
Hi Eric! I’m a 19 year old female dating a guy age 30. I’m confused with his texting habits and the times we are seing each other. I’m so confused because I know he likes me but when it comes to seeing each other it almost never happens even though we text a lot and we’ve been having sex much too but lately he says he’s too busy to come see me and I know that I’m so busy too I can’t drop everything off my hand and anyways I told him we need to see each other more often and he indeed promised me that he will be better on that. But the thing is he has promised me a billion times since like 2 years! We have been on and off since then and we do have sexy conversations, I send him a lot of sexy pics and he sends me back, and then few days ago we both watched a kinky movie and I asked him if he have had kinky fabtasies about me and he ignored replying me. Anyways this is NOT the first time he ignores me the weird thing is that he comes on and off all the time I don’t know why. I know he came out of a relationship like 3 months ago and I’ve been completely fine with his gf before I think he might be seeing her again but I am still ok with it. You see this is complicated can you try to answer me in the best way you can? Thanks!
Whether you’re texting or not, you never want to appear needy. This is a HUGE turn off for 99% of the male population and is a sure fire way to get him running in the opposite direction. So how can you not appear needy? Don’t respond seconds after he texts you. Give it a few minutes. Don’t say things like, “Oh my gosh I’ve been waiting hours for your text message” or “Thank god you texted me I missed you”. Instead, try saying something flirty and fun like “Well hello there 😉 glad to see a text from you”.
There’s this guy we met in summer school and had a thing but fell out , now he hit me up again and we’ve been talking for 1 year and 5 months but he hasn’t came to see me even once. Everytime I ask him he says he does like me he’s just been really busy with school and work and hasn’t the free time but makes promises to make the time soon, idk what to do if I should continue waiting or give up cuz it’s been so long, now it feels like we talk even less he replies once a day if I get lucky and I asked him if he’d just like me to leave I have no problem with it but he insists he’s just mad busy idk what to do plz help
I hate sound repetitive, but loads of single people who are never married with no kids get mislead by a romantic partner every day of the week. Only you can determine if it is worth going to a court of law. That said, I would not condone any person trying to manipulate another in their time of grief. It is morally wrong. I can tell you the conduct I have seen first hand upon the death of a loved one can be atrocious.

What To Text A Guy


Let’ s face it, that first phone call is going to be a little awkward. I’ll show you how to prevent ‘conversation stalling” and awkward silences by using the “Multiple Threads” concept. By talking in a way that creates mild suspense, you’ll create energy, rapport and the feeling that you have a lot to talk about. For example, you can rephrase boring questions into interesting comments. Boring: “How many brothers and sisters do you have?” Interesting: “I bet you’ re the youngest in your family.” You’ ll also learn an amazing body language trick that projects warmth, confidence and sexiness over the phone. It’s all on P. 47-70.

How To Let A Boy Know You Like Him


I refuse to admit my own feelings till I know he's completely done with her. My biggest fear is what to do once he is done, if that happens. I've been in plenty of relationships, but I wouldn't know how to be in one with him because he's the longest, closest, male friendship I've ever had and at the same time, and we're deeply attracted to each other.

#4 Wait for a reply. This used to kill me. I’d get so nervous when the guy didn’t reply that I fired off another text message just in case. I would bombard the guy with three or four texts just because my insecurity took over. Do NOT send him a series of texts just because he didn’t reply in two minutes. Wait for the reply. No matter how long it takes. [Read: 6 basic rules of double texting to play it cool and casual]
#28. Respect him – If he has boundaries, don’t cross them.If he values privacy in certain areas, observe it. If there is something you dislike about him, don’t go complaining to your family and girlfriends about it, behind his back. There are many examples, but the main point is that you RESPECT him, so that he can feel valued, appreciated, and upheld.
Guys aren’t the best at expressing their feelings. So when a guy isn’t texting back consistently, he’s trying to give you a clue. Sure, it would be nice if he had a little more respect for you and just told you openly that he’s not that into you, but alas, that seems to be asking too much. So a lot of guys do what they do best — avoid the problem and hope it will eventually go away when you get the hint.
Ben, 27, is our breath of fresh air. “I’m not one for games,” he says, “and the older I get, the less and less I play them. But I do think it is important to not come off as desperate or clingy when first meeting someone, because you don’t want to spook them.” When can you expect a non-strategized text from him? “After 2 – 3 dates, I usually stop worrying about the time or frequency of my texts as strategic, because I feel that I have a read on them and whether or not we like each other.”
I think it totally depends on the type of person you are. Each individual has a different threshold of “hard to get” that they are willing to tolerate. When you’re texting someone that you like and they are hard to get, it’s nauseating, exciting, and thrilling, waiting for someone to respond – the fact that it’s new and unknown is exciting. The anticipation and re-reading of texts can drive you mad but it’s that pain and agony that makes it so much better when they respond.”
#4 Wait for a reply. This used to kill me. I’d get so nervous when the guy didn’t reply that I fired off another text message just in case. I would bombard the guy with three or four texts just because my insecurity took over. Do NOT send him a series of texts just because he didn’t reply in two minutes. Wait for the reply. No matter how long it takes. [Read: 6 basic rules of double texting to play it cool and casual] 

Also false. Meeting new people in any circumstance is arguably my favorite activity. I like meeting new people so much that I become anxious thinking about all of the people I haven’t met. Remember that scene from Gilmore Girls where Rory visits the Harvard University library, which holds 13 million volumes, and she freaks out because she hasn’t read every single one of them? I know, I thought she was an unbearable psycho-nerd too. However, her reaction is consistent with my own when I enter new groups of people. While she has to read every book, I like to meet every person in the group or I feel unsatisfied.
There was a clear divide here. Two out of three of the 20 – 23 year olds said there is nothing appealing about someone being “hard to get.” David, 20, clarifies, “It makes them seem conceited and uninterested.” Nate, 30, weighs in with the younger crowd on this one, stating that “nothing” is appealing about a girl who is “hard to get.” He advocates the “straight to the point” approach: “I am always one who is aggressive and goes after what I want. You know pretty quickly if someone is into you or if you are into them. Whether it’s via text, at a bar or Steak ‘n Shake, “hard to get” is a thing of the past. I have noticed over past 3-4 years even females have been more aggressive in pursuit.”
And as for what you asked if i would like to be loved based on my performance……..nooooooooooooooooooooooooowaaaayyyyyyyy!! haha i would be like so unlovable on that level. I don’t know how you guys do it…..but working is so stressful. I always get emotional and when things don’t go the way i wanted to or expected to i *need* someone to go to for a hug or comfort!
I’m a nurse also and haven’t slept with, or pursued a doctor. That’s ridiculous. Now, my construction husband believes – since I.ve been diagnosed with breast cancer and shad bilateral mastectomies – that he can go on discreet affair dating sites and frequent strip clubs. So are all construction guys douche bags? HaHa- probably. And he just lost a respectable, respectful, loyal and intelligent NURSE!
A guy in my church was madly interested in me, but the church members in my congregation fiercely oppose to him dating me. To them he should choose another who are their friend. He no longer in my congregation, but, he is still interested. The church members lied about me, spread a bunch of lies. He’s good friend with them, but i don’t communicate with him. I called and texted him once, he hasn’t replied back. I occasionally see him. When he sees me i can tell that his world lights up. I believe i love this guy too very much. Everywhere i go i carry him in my spirit. Can i tell him how i feel about him? I want to move on. What do you suggest???
Now this boy being fresh out of high school too had no money! His parents, were the same financial situation as my own. So what was the difference between this boy and all others? He was a wonderful friend! But I also noticed, he climbed in the company quickly! He was smart, efficient, intelligent, and became the favorite of his bosses quickly. He had wonderful work ethic while at work, but was always late, not just by 5 min but sometimes an hour late to work EVERY DAY!! He got away with it because, he was so good at everything he did at work. he had a Midas touch. I latched onto him, not only because he was my best friend, but also, he was like following an ambulance with the lights on and blaring clearing the road for any one behind the ambulance.

Flirty Text Messages To Send To A Guy


Texting someone back takes less than a minute. Some guys act like texting is such a huge hassle and asking too much, but look at the reality of that thought process. Your phone alerts you when you get a message and that notification doesn’t go away until you check the message. Even if he doesn’t have time at the moment, it’s not like he can just forget that red bubble staring him in the face. When he does open the message, texting back usually takes less than a minute. Would any guys like to explain once again how that’s asking too much?

A blueprint. A step-by-step guide to texting guys so that they’re dying to ask you out. Something that shows you amazing texting techniques that make you irresistible to beautiful guys. This is the only flirty texting ebook filled the secrets of text seduction. After years of perfecting my method – and helping others around the world through my HBO TV Series and dating advice columns – I can guarantee that you won’t find this kind of information in any other book. Whether you’re looking for attention, a date or a boyfriend, the first step is figuring out how the male mind works and how it best responds.

Sigh. It’s not. You don’t have to spend any money to get a boyfriend – you can weave yourself a new hairband if you like. It’s just a way of subtly altering how you feel about yourself. You might find that an easy way to boost your confidence is to accentuate your favourite physical traits, perhaps in a new, slightly daring way, but one that’s true to your own style. But if you get the same kick from spending time with an affirming friend, or going travelling – then do it. Go with your gut and let it lead you to self-satisfied sexiness. This is how to get a boyfriend 101: simple stuff, but it actually works.
Be yourself. When you meet someone for the first time, you may be tempted to be someone you're not, such as "putting on your best face". There's nothing wrong with wanting to make a good impression. However, it is possible to take this too far and in turn repel men. The same applies with myths about dressing sexy and excessive flirtation. If you do not respect your body, you will only attract men who have a similar lack of respect for you and your body, and a good man will find it more difficult to take you seriously. Be yourself, and a real man will respect you.
"It's absolutely true, but it's not without conditions," says Jeffrey Bernstein, PhD, author of Why Can't You Read My Mind? "You have to make a strategic effort to trigger that craving in him once you're in a relationship because the spark in your bond won't last if you neglect it." For that reason, Cosmo has discovered the seven key make-him-ache-for-you strategies that specifically jump-start your guy's desire. Be warned: Once you use them, he'll be sticking to you like white on rice.

How To Make Your Man Love You More


I have a little bit of a dilemma… I have met this guy during one of my trips last year. He was fun to be around and exchanged numbers before I left. We have been messaging in WhatsApp for the last 2,5 months on regular basis… exchanging photographs, talking about daily life etc. last Sunday I had a rough road trip with my friends and I was a bit depressed as I had to send my car on a freight truck to the mechanic. Anyways I wrote him few lines explaining what happened to me. I saw he read the text but has not replied yet. At the moment my anxiety and insecurities are getting the worst out of me. Feeling a bit depressed as he has not acknowledged my bad day or sent me text saying hope I am okay. In the past he did when I hurt my shoulder. He is an archeologist and does private culture and history tours and at times lecturing.
I think it totally depends on the type of person you are. Each individual has a different threshold of “hard to get” that they are willing to tolerate. When you’re texting someone that you like and they are hard to get, it’s nauseating, exciting, and thrilling, waiting for someone to respond – the fact that it’s new and unknown is exciting. The anticipation and re-reading of texts can drive you mad but it’s that pain and agony that makes it so much better when they respond.”
This implies that if they went through a hard time financially, she’d be able to leave him with no guilt or remorse, but even if her beauty faded significantly after a given age, or any particular trait of hers that he loved her for decreased, he’d have no legitimate reason to leave, since those things could be considered “superficial” reasons to love someone, and that would work both ways.
* Take care of yourself. Because rich men have more selection, they tend to gravitate towards better looking, fitter women. The one thing every person can do is work on their fitness – facial features not so much. There’s a big fear from men that once he marries his woman that she will chop off all her hair and let herself go. Don’t let your man fear such a thing by eating healthy and maintaining a workout regime that’s beyond his own. When a woman asks a rich man to see whether he’d like to join her at the gym, deep down the rich man is beaming with joy.
After her death, I had many divorcees looking to ‘help me out’. I did need help as I have 3 younger kids. One woman who was a friend of my wife and is very attractive was over all the time. Well, we did end up dating. It ended after a few months. She was 49, very attractive, twice divorced, and broke. I mean broke like couldn’t pay her rent broke. I discovered from other women who know her that her showing up at my door after my wife’s death was not an accident. She began borrowing money from me. Larger and larger amounts. She talked marriage (say what? My wife, your friend, just died six months ago) She said she wanted a $10K diamond ring if we got engaged. She wanted to buy a very large, expensive house together. She liked borrowing my Audi.
I disagree with the breaking up text. It’s quick, easy, and you don’t have to hear what they say. Just delete, delete, delete, and ignore every call there after. I had to break it off through text with my ex, if I hadn’t, I would still be in that miserable relationship. I tried doing it the right way before then, and my ex would get me everytime with the tears.

I worked with one couple for whom this was the case: Rob had taken a new job several hours away. Emily stayed back, preparing their house for a sale. At the same time, they argued about whether or not to get a dog. Emily argued that a dog would provide her with some needed company, and make her feel secure when alone in their home. In his logical, analytical way, Rob gave her every reason why the timing was not right, for example: How could you show the house with a puppy running around, peeing on the floor? On an intellectual level, Emily knew he was right, but her heart insisted she would be happier with the dog. They went through several weekends during which all they did was fight about the dog issue. Emily thought Rob was being cold and unfeeling. Rob thought Emily was being unreasonable. With much coaxing, Rob agreed to accompany Emily to the local animal shelter “just to look” at dogs. When Rob saw all those rows and rows of dogs in cages, knowing that most of them would probably be put to death, he began sobbing. Emily said she had never seen him cry so hard. She had been thinking to herself that he didn't have any feelings, when nothing could have been further from the truth.
I’m glad you know how I feel, it means a lot. I don’t even talk about that period of my life with anyone or these feelings, and it’s nice to hear that you agree I should feel awesome for making it on my own. I don’t get discredited anymore because I don’t look that way anymore–older now, dress differently, different hair color, carry myself differently, etc. I also gravitated towards a career/office in which I am rarely ever seen by anyone, 99% of the work I do is on the phone and computer and I have my own office. I’m also totally google clean and have no pictures of myself floating about the net connected with my current name.
Despite popular advice telling women to take charge and ask a guy out, there are a lot of women who don’t feel empowered by making the first move. I know I don't. Most women I know want to feel desired and pursued, not just from the very beginning of the relationship, but throughout their entire love story. The trouble is, women who feel this way too often get caught in the trap of waiting for a guy to make the first move, which is both disempowering and really not the way the old-school courtship process even works.
Similarity, in terms of personality, doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be mirror images of each other (in fact that might get a little boring). The important thing here is being open to each other’s interests.  If he likes hockey, watch a game with him at least once or twice. If he’s a country music guy, and you can’t get enough hip-hop, well, at least you can both appreciate a strong love for music.
Can someone pls help me,I think I’m in a relationship right now I like this guy and I’m starting to have feelings for him,he likes me also its too obvious and he also starting to say that his feelings for me is going stronger but he never said to me that he loves me I want him to say that to me without asking him if he loves me..I don’t know how to make him says that to me

of course there are problems I encounter in my life but I never thought of it as a problem. being a nice person sometimes get u in trouble such as men easily fell in love with me or they thought I like them but that’s not it. I’m just nice to everyone. EVERYONE. regardless they are rude or somewhat cold towards me. it’s the way u live ur life u know. in fact, I don’t have one guy friend because they will start being awkward or shy around me after a few minutes talking to me. I hate that. how can I be friend with a guy or communicate with them normally if all they think about is they want to be more than friend with me? GOD, THIS IS HARD! I’m not even graduate yet I always get these kind of treatment. how am I suppose to work with men when I enter real life? I mean the work field. this is what concerns me the most as I had encounter with many man that gave their numbers, expecting me to call or message them because I’m not a woman who easily gave their number to a guy they barely know. maybe I’m too friendly but believe me, I have tried to keep it low when I communicate with men but still they easily like me on the spot. u think I like that? absolutely not! I want men to act normal towards me. not suddenly give me special treatment or being shy and smiling sheepishly everytime they talk to me. God, all I ask for is normal treatment.
A good way to meet someone is through other people, or activities you enjoy. Some advice about being genuine: Don't take up hobbies or habits just to meet someone. If you meet him in a bar, he's liable to be a drinker. If you meet him in a house of worship, he's likely to be religious. First impressions are important, so if his first impression of you is "party person", it will be difficult to change. The same thing goes for if his first impression of you is "uptight person" or "mind-game person".
I am a woman, and I come from a well off family. I have always worked hard and dated men not based on income or looks but what I thought was love. My first relationship was fully abusive (he beat me because he wanted to control me and could not handle any men looking at me) I left, of course. My next long term started ok, but he would make me feel like garbage, tell me mutual friends didn’t like me (which wasn’t true, he just wanted to control me), he told me my businesses would fail, etc, Im an idiot and stayed with him 7 years…. the last 3 years he was financially dependent, but Im loyal and kept hoping he would get it together. 2 years after we broke up he told me he didn’t know what to do with his life now that he didn’t have my money…. :( And my latest relationship is in a similar financial bracket as I, but it took him 5 years to ask me to marry him and only after I left him twice and cried because I couldn’t believe that I was once again in a relationship that was going no where. And for the record, I am quite attractive, fit, work out 1-2 hours a day, make a reasonable living and don’t depend on my partners for money. I have low self esteem when it comes to my personal life, but high when it comes to my work. I am good at what I do. I keep hoping that I will find love and be able to have children, but I think my time for that is getting tight… So it goes both ways I guess. There are male gold diggers out there. And men need to stop leading us on if they have no thoughts of marriage. Its not fair to women. Most of us want kids and marriage and love. I’m honestly really tired of it all, and I find that this latest set back has brought be to a really dark place where I feel like I have nothing left to look forward to. Money and making money is fine but if you aren’t in love and don’t have love…. what’s it all worth? Friendships are hard to maintain, everyone I know works hard and long hours, as do I. If you don’t have family, you don’t really have anything to build towards. At least for me. I know some people are really happy without.

Would that getting his attention long enough to pursue her attraction be so simple—Not. Laura makes mistake after mistake in her attempts to connect with him. After switching out of her AP classes to help cement her popularity quest, she discovers that Adam is probably her equal in the brains department, so she initiates a series of well-intentioned, but disastrous swaps with other kids in an effort to get in the same classes and work on some projects with him, all the while trying to keep Jake far enough away so she doesn't have to go to the prom with him.
It turns out, research shows that, in reality, women are the ones who make the first move. . . but not the way you might think. According to research revealed in The Man’s Guide to Women by Dr. John Gottman et al., “Whether or not men are interested in a woman is not strongly related to her objective attractiveness but instead to the nonverbal signals she sends out. In fact, when scoring women’s nonverbal behaviors, researchers were able to predict a man’s approach to her with 90 percent accuracy.”

How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You Psychology

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