The main reason that I don’t go after openly rich guys is because I believe that men who use their money in a flashy way are womanizers that attract their female-equivalents of whores and gold-diggers. I’m sorry for this negative stereotype of the dynamics of men/women, and I realize not all flashy men are bad, just like not every hooker or gold-digger is a bad person either, but I believe these extreme traits usually come from the less desirable characteristics of the opposite sex.
I don’t know how I have never read your advice columns before, but these have made me feel like I know more than ever before. So I have been talking to this guy that I met online in January. We have not met yet because I was away at school and only just got home. He initiated the relationship and used to be incredibly attentive to me. He would text me, sext me, call me…it was great. All of a sudden he says we are moving too fast and now he rarely texts me at all. He doesn’t answer my texts some times and it makes me crazy because he claims to want to talk to me more and meet me but I don’t know what to think. Please help.
Not all are women are “Gold Diggers” lol. I divorced and was raising my five children, working 3 jobs, preparing two meals/daily and running a business, so that we would have much extra and I would not accept child support for necessities/desires. I then met my second husband after a year of courting, he asked me to marry him and allow him to take care of me and my children. We married and even though I knew that I did not have to continue working, to maintain my lifestyle, I kept working and running my business. He begged me to at least let go of two jobs, telling me that I worked too much and I should hire a housekeeper because he was tired of watching me take care of everyone and not have adequate time for myself. He told me that I was the first woman that loved him for him. He passed away in 2012. He was a fabulous man, so classy, smart, strong, honest, loving, fun, etc. I should have cloned him lol. My good friend told me that I was in trouble if something were to happen to him, she was right…No one has compared to him since. It is not just about money either.
When you’re in a relationship, you automatically go into what I like to call “Don’t Notice Me Mode”. It’s a way of ensuring you don’t end up in any awkward situations with other men grinding on you in clubs, thinking you’re single. So, what do you do? You keep your head down, and only flirt in a light, slightly awkward way, usually mentioning your boyfriend in every other sentence.
It doesn’t hurt to wait a little bit if you’re really worried about coming across as overeager, but don’t adhere to some bizarre rule about “always waiting twice as long as they took to respond” or “always waiting three minutes to respond.” If you want to respond, respond. If you’re keeping your early text conversations focused on the right things (like making plans and carefully showing your interest in them), you shouldn’t have to worry about seeming overeager anyway. If things go well, after a few dates you’ll develop your own texting repertoire between the two of you and it won’t matter.
Hi Eric, a guy from work and I have been talking about dating and getting to know each other more for about 7 mos. We didn’t have an actual date until 6 mos after we’ve been talking about dating. We’ve shared alot of intimacy. He even asked how committed I wanted to be. I told him I’d like to have a growing, flourishing relationship with him. He said he’s looking for something very long term if things all work out. A couple weeks ago I got too anxious, excited and emotional and sent him a string of texts asking what’s going on and how do I know if you don’t tell me. He didn’t reply to any of them. Earlier in the relationship he said communication is one of 3 important things in a relationship. I asked him if we could work this out and I got no reply. I’m lost and don’t know what to do or say to him. Please help! Thank you!
I don’t believe any relationship should be prohibiting in anyway for any of the participants, the point is a guy shouldn’t have to text you as a chore..I.e. If he would prefer to be doing something else then he shouldn’t be prohibited from doing that. If he stops texting then he is either playing it cool or would simply rather being doing something else. If a man used to text all the time and showed love and affection then suddenly stops it is probably one of those two reasons. I think my boyfriend of two years has started preferring to do something else, that is fine. It is your mission to find out why your boyfriend has stopped texting. Once you know you can make an informed decision on whether or not you want to carry on with them. Perhaps you like the chase or perhaps you don’t like to feel second best, you decide.
I have disagree with you. I think that we often make too many excuses for men, saying how differently wired they are, when really, all humans are the same. If a woman/man wants a woman/man, rest assured that he/she will not lose an opportunity to communicate with her/him. Now if we take an extreme case where the woman/man is really busy at work…at the worse point she/he would reply saying that they can’t chat now but will reach out later during the day. I truly believe that a real grown up relationship should work that way…otherwise the woman/man is definitely not that into the other person.
Hi, a guy initiated chat over twitter, followed, flirted. I was cool, sarcastic, we had banter & he still pushed the flirting & made me laugh. He asked for my number. We text back & forth, flirting, naughty video calls & voice messages. He asked to meet several times, was super keen. I wanted to, but waited till this point to tell him I had a boyfriend (I know) he was fine, didn’t judge, still talked/text. Then he asked me if I could go to meet him last minute one night. I was working & busy & replied I couldn’t. I wasn’t sure it was meant for me & said I assumed was for someone else. No reply. Text 3 day so later asking what was going on that night he asked to meet. No reply. Text re meeting today & got a blunt reply implying sensible to stop communicating. Not sure why the change…
The reason for this one is pretty obvious: they'll know, you'll know and it doesn't bode well for the future. "Adapting your behaviour slightly is one thing, but faking aspects of your personality or pretending you're really into golf, when in fact it bores you brainless, will just lead to trouble," says sex therapist Dr Ian Kerner."Sometimes, however, you might find yourself enjoying things you didn't before simply because you hadn't tried them and that's fine. So feel free to try the things they do, but if it doesn't feel like a good fit, drop it. Instead, encourage them to try doing the things you enjoy and see how that works."
Another thing that people are failing to point out is that rich men generally like literate women. Pretty bodies are easily bought and more conveniently rented. If a guy is investing in the “relationship” he wants more than just looks. Even for a sugar baby. They want a girl that can appear at events with them. Behave well in public. Speak intelligently. Understand conversations. Witty enough to contribute, clever enough to shut up.
Your contribution to this article shows intelligence and apparent success. To be a self made millionaire, intelligence (and lots of luck) are of the paramount importance. I happened to have been married to a millionaire 10 years ago. At the time we met, I had no idea. We were both involved politically and just happened to have met over coffee in a hallway during break time. I found him interesting, intelligent, witty, and naturally self assured. He kept trying to date me, but I thought he was too old for me when he mentioned he had grandchildren! Finally I went to a sports event with him and discovered he was very fun to be with. We ended up traveling the world, enjoying his horses winning many races, and basically walking through life together. I wasn’t looking to meet a rich man, so easily and agreeably signed a pre nup he presented. Towards the end of his life, (he died from prostate cancer) his family started causing trouble and he sided with them. Therefore turbulence and controversy followed. However, we still got together and in spite of his family’s objections, took trips to New York, cruises, etc. We loved each other to the end. His money was never a major force with me; it only allowed us to walk in, and play in, any world “playground” we chose. He was a man of strength who taught me how to hobnob with the rich and famous, as well with the poor and lowly. I would do it all over again.
1.Continue to learn (formally or through travel and simply teaching ones self). I chose more informal (while I did take courses at the local Community College I enjoyed emensly they were taken for a reason to learn such as business law etc. I learned how to better Manage WIRK & Personal Aspects of my life and not get sued over a silly emotion like anger also I was armed with the knowledge to better protect myself civilly and legally and how to protect the company’s I worked for! I continue to tune in my knowledge annually and look for changes to the law! SO, UNDER THE TUTILAGE IF AN ADORING JUDGE, I learned how to best protect my own finances and my future. At 2/ w/so much on the line Being Fired was not an option! So simply winning the war and not simply a battle in my personal life & my career. CHECK! Do continue to educate yourself. I enjoy reading legal briefs! As simply rediculous as it sounds, I love it! ,read what makes you happy! Travel will enlighten you so go to Cartagena Colombia like we did for a couple of weeks! You’ll be shocked at what a totally different culture can teach you!
I dated a rich man for 5 years. It was easier some ways but harder in others. He was so into his work and money that even when he was home he was on his phone and not paying much attention to me. We were in love….kinda I guess. I think we both just really wanted someone to love…or just not be alone anyway. But he payed for everything. And he bought me cars and expensive clothes and jewelry and anything I wanted and we ate at the Best restaurants. It changed me a little. I was wearing only name brands and acted like I was so cool and I was never someone that ever thought I was better than everyone. It was just being in that lifestyle I felt like I could have anything and if I couldn’t I would yell or get someone fired or just be a bitch to get it. But it was what I learned from him and when I realized how I was changing like that I didn’t like it so I actually tried changing him to be more like me and he tried and he’s a total city guy and I’m a country girl so very different people. Anyway I realized that money doesn’t solve everything. He would have done anything for money and I would have done anything for love.
You can’t make someone be your boyfriend, silly! This isn’t Harry Potter! This is where you have to be strong enough to see when something isn’t working. If you’re five dates in and you feel completely comfortable with the guy, the sex has been amazing, and you’ve sussed out that you share the same values – politely inform him that you would like to make this official because you think he’s bloody amazing. He’ll probably (hopefully!) reciprocate.