What you say in your first text message is important (more on that later), but it isn’t nearly as important as you actually reaching out. Don’t be afraid of the initial text message. As online dating coach Patrick King explains, they’ve already given you their number because there is some mutual attraction there, so you don’t have to stress as much about the possibility of rejection. When you do send that first text, however, Regina Lynn, the author of The Sexual Revolution 2.0, suggests you follow the same etiquette as phone calls. Don’t text him at odd hours, like late at night or really early in the morning. Texting the cute guy from the gym when he’s trying to sleep will turn that “yay she’s texting me!” moment into “why is that girl waking me up?” Not a great first impression.
This sounds counterintuitive but it's not. Familiarity doesn't breed contempt (unless they don't like you in the first place, in which case you're kind of doomed, sorry). In fact, the more time you spend together, the more they'll like you. "Advertising works in part because it repeatedly exposes you to a particularly product," says Kerner. "It's the same with people – the more time you spend together, taking for granted that there's some mutual attraction to begin with, the more you'll grow to like each other."
2. Be a hot mama, not a prospective mama. "Men have a radar for detecting women who are baby hungry," warns Christie Kelleher, director of the New York office of Kelleher & Associates, an upscale matchmaking service for successful professionals. Kelleher, whose service has brought together about 6,000 marriages in 19 years, adds, "He's thinking, 'Whoa—I don't even know your middle name, and I already know the colors you want to paint your kid's nursery.'" Your best bet: no baby talk!
Then, suddenly, you’re single, and you’ve totally forgotten how not to be in this frame of mind. This isn’t how to get a boyfriend. The usual cycle is for desperation to kick-start the “Definitely Notice Me Right Now Mode” which gently fades into the more attractive “You Can Notice Me If You Want Mode”. This transition can take weeks, months, even years. But there are three neat little tricks to skip the desperate phase, and gracefully slip into charming nonchalance:
Help him feel special. One way to charm a guy is by treating him in a manner that makes him feel like he's special to you. When you're talking to him in a group of his pals, pay special attention to him. Make steady eye contact and ask him specific questions. Go out of your way to speak to him when you can and show a strong interest in his life, from his hobbies and his career to his family and friendships.
So you say the conversation between the two of you is getting a little “fun”, hmm? While I’m not going to sit here and tell you to strip down and send a nude short, I will tell you this: it’s the perfect time for a little seductive flick. For instance, you could take a picture of your new adorable, kind of sexy nightgown that you’re not sure if you want to take back or not. You could take a picture of those new jeans that fit oh-so-perfectly around your bottom and ask him what he thinks. There’s lots of ways to be a bit naughty with your pictures without showing a single thing!
my crush and I got to school together and we've dated off and on for the last 2 years and I dot know how he feels , like we'll hold hands but he always gives mixed signals , he knows how I feel but he also has multiple other people chasing him (more than half of them my backstabbing friends) and I don't want to betray my friends but they knew how I felt as well , I just don't know what to do
If you have something to offer to rich man besides your looks, there is nothing wrong with trying to get a rich boyfriend or husband. In most cases, rich men are career driven and spend a lot of time trying to improve themselves. If you want to be with someone who always pushes himself to the limits, a rich man might be a great choice for you. If on another hand you just want to meet rich men so that you can sit the whole day at home doing nothing and expect him to pay for everything, it is a really bad approach.
#22. Be calm when he is stressed – When a man is stressed it can be a HUGE problem, because he acts out of character, is unpredictable, may lash out at you, and may withdraw.BUT, instead of blaming him and arguing, just be calm and let the storm pass. He needs to know that you UNDERSTAND him in that area, and doesn’t need a woman who makes it all about “herself” when he has something stressful going on.
When you spend down the principle ( the original amount we saved), you don’t have money to be free. What being a millionaire means is that I can purchase organic foods instead of regular foods and when I go to the grocery store I don’t have to choose. I have a budget but it is a reasonable one and can purchase any food item I want with in that budget. But shopping for nice clothes is still out of the question.

Be approachable. Don’t close yourself off. Try to set aside time when he knows you aren’t too busy to hang out with him, and let him know that he is welcome to hang out with you. Smile and make eye contact. Try not to seem unsociable or angry unless you actually are; it may make it seem like you don’t want to interact with him, and can be intimidating.


The explanations of male thinking is also not "boys will be boys" trash that insists sexist and misogynistic behaviors are simply "biological" for men & have to be tolerated by women. Instead of making excuses, the author manages to be honest & fair in describing common male mindsets & how & why certain negative attitudes/behaviors are triggered (much as stereotypical female negative behaviors can be triggered by crappy moves on a guys' part). Since a relationship is a dynamic, it's only fair to adjust what you can control - yourself. So you learn very subtle methods to hone your social & dating skill to basically COMMUNICATE in a way that men in general will grasp correctly.
Sam-you hit the nail on the head again. After divorce at 35, took 7 years to find wife no 2. It’s virtually impossible to find a woman who fits requirements. Virtually all wanted kids and for me to look after them or had kids and wanted me to look after them. Finally found producer partner, not parasite partner. Im now the weak link on mortgage application. This eliminates the opportunistic behavior from women married to rich men and gives both people in the marriage complete freedom. If we got divorced, neither of our lifestyles would change. She doesnt need a penny from me and I dont need a penny from her.
Hi Ryan. I am very intrigued by your mindset because I find it is the masculine version of my own. Although I have been “analyzing” myself for some time now and especially myself in relationships, i have never been able to successfully articulate not only what I want but who I am because of the way I think, as beautifully as you were able to in your reply. I do enjoy performance based love as well. Although I have been told constantly I am beautiful enough to not need much depth or skill. I feel there is a world full of beautiful people. Feeling like I give my best at everything I do (and I have VERY high standards) is important to my sense of self worth.
Hi Eric! About man’s texting habits, when you’re in a relationship and the guy, being busy, responds to texts but doesn’t actually initiate contact for a couple of days or so, can it mean he doesn’t care that much about our relationship? I mean, from your perspective, don’t the guys feel the need to check in if we’re OK, or is that a sign that they don’t even think about us?
Finally, while “renting” a hottie seems like an option, there really no intimacy, no reciprocation, and lots of latex. Its not even close, and its very scary because it is usually a crime, and disease still sometimes gets transmitted. The men who do that stuff just aren’t that smart. Talented, maybe: think actors, musicians, athletes etc, but not smart.
Your post made me think of this viral e-mail that went around a few years back from a 25-year old girl looking for a wealthy man ($250,000 will not get her Central Park West so you need half a million to be up to her standards). In response, a banker calls this a bad business deal and a depreciating asset. An interesting read if you haven’t seen it already.
Im his strongest supporter in any and every endeavor as is he with me. To your point any woman hoping to find love needs to first LOVE THEMSELVES ENOUGH TO TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY OF ONES OWN SELF BOTH FINANCIALLY (no matter how much or little you have). This certainly includes never taking ones health or beauty (as women do know) your beauty will need a bit more care, if you will, to continue to look and feel fantastic after 40 (while my husband just seems to get more handsome as time passes (he’s 54 & Ill be 39 in the fall) and soon I’ll begin to look a bit older unless I truly tighten it up even more but to all of you looking for love or simply seeking to date a man who may be a bit out of your own financial bracket, my advice I’d advise you get out there & date and date a lot! But for Gods Sake don’t sleep with them all! I dated Golf Professionals, The men who went to the Golf Pros Clubs as Members (they made quite a bit more annually and I dated teachers, attorneys, men in sales, etc., I was only 22 when I met my husband to be at 24, and your advice is very good for those simply looking to meet a spouse! (perhaps wealthier than you or older or both?) Whatever your long term motivations are remember a few VERY IMPORTANT points!
You just haven't met the right person yet! When you meet someone who makes you light up, you'll know. Until then, there's no point in stressing out. You might be a little shy around strangers, but it’s worth making an effort to meet new people (and get to know the people you already know a little bit better). Don't worry if it takes a little time. The best things in life are worth waiting for!
This is both the first and the last step, really. Because if you don't truly love yourself, they will find it difficult to fall in love with you. Think of yourself as the number one prize – because to the right person that's exactly what you are. To get to feel that good about yourself you need to learn to appreciate all the good things you have to offer. And by that we don't mean your pert derriere or any other thing you can see in the mirror. It's also not about the new and expensive things in your wardrobe, your skills at work, it's about loving who you are as a person.
I see a partnership as 2 people making a go of some common goal. My father used the utensil analogy of couples who are a fork and knife, versus couples who are a pair of chopsticks. The differing expectations for yourself and for your SO means you need a fork/knife relationship. The job gets done, and each person has their role which is fixed by gender norms, or however you two decide.
You just haven't met the right person yet! When you meet someone who makes you light up, you'll know. Until then, there's no point in stressing out. You might be a little shy around strangers, but it’s worth making an effort to meet new people (and get to know the people you already know a little bit better). Don't worry if it takes a little time. The best things in life are worth waiting for!

Well said and agreed! It’s all about common courtesy and the respect you have for a person. Unless you have a career that requires you to be without your phone, there is no excuse that you can go 24 hours plus without responding back to someone’s text message. The advice given to females is to not act needy, yet then we are given advice that makes excuses for guys not responding…sure, sure it is possible that a guy was just busy when you texted him, but more times than most a man will make time to respond to you. That response can be “hey, I’ll text you later, kinda busy right now,” or a response to continue the conversation but the point is people don’t just put people off that they are interested in, in fear that the person will lose interest in them.


The confines of a socialization process; restricting men to show the full scope of the emotional inner life. That kind of reasoning sounds interesting in a typical psychological way but fails to take into account the broader social life of individuals. Perhaps that many men feel confined by such a socialization process, but what about those who do not feel this confinement? I guess men trying to fully share their emotions is part of an emanicaption process. For other men it's just not applicable; they share their emotions in a different way, e.g. through doing chores or giving presents. Finally, which human being (man or woman) does not feel confined by socialization processes?! These give way to a more successful participation in society, but at the same time impose boundaries of social behaviour in which we can feel either comfortable or not.
Well first rich man know they are rich and they feel there are lots of you and only a few of them. They are people like any other. They feel insecure, try their best, and are intimated by other rich men. But if your not rich, then your not in their stratosphere, your simply a playtoy. I am in my mid 30s have have dated and been engaged to billionaires and rich men.. The best advice is their advice in the financial realm. Tips on investing has created a small empire for me. I could say I am rich now .. Was homeless and definitely qualify past the 7 mark net assets all because I hung around the rich men. Romantically am I full filled no!!! Rich men are hard to date .. But being rejected and used by rich men has taught me how to become wealthy myself. Now that I am wealthy I could care less about a rich man. Case in point. Take their advice and move on. Date for love. Use them ( take their financial advice ) and move on. That’s what they will do to you. Date for love not for money. But if you date rich men, do take their advice and become like them and move on … After all you become who you hang out with.
So, I've been talking to this guy for a couple of weeks. we have known eachother for awhile though but never talked to each other till recently. He was dating this girl for 2 years and they broke up 6 months ago , he messgaed me on instagram asking if i wanted to hangout sometime so i gave him my number! well we started texting for awhile but he isn't very consistent with texting and when we finally hung out i brought up how i always tect him for and he leaves me on read but then reply's to what i said couple days later. his reason was with school and work he has to work off his phone and my messages get pushed back and he would forget to reply, when he realized he forgot he had said it was too late to respond so i wouldnt bother. the next week he didnt talk much saying he had been, which i new he would be with what he had going on and moving out of his apartment that week. well he was active on snapchat at some concert so i thought i text him again and he never replied but still active on social media. i don't know if i shouldn't worry about it and text him again or just forget about it, maybe he isn't interested. i need help everyone i ask doesn't carer they just tell me i don't know. and i really need help figuring out what should i do.

According to financial samurai’s “semi-sliding” scale, I guess I fall into the category of a “rich man” (offhand and on average $730k/yr income depending plus my business equity worth and investments) and I DEFINITELY see that women who would normally be out of my reach are more interested in striking up a conversation. I don’t think it buys you an automatic “in” with those kind of women but it certainly helps.


Now's the time to make a joke about something you have in common, something in the news, or something funny going on in your life. You could say something as normal as, "omg, you'll never believe what happened to me today... I got up when my alarm went off (shocked emoji)". Ask him what's up with him, give him a funny challenge ("I bet you can't go the whole day tomorrow without laughing"), or send him a random, funny meme.


I’m not saying I came here with no slightest bit of motive..but, the more I read all things above the more I realize, how ridiculous all of ‘that’..if I only have one penny in my pocket, I’ll give it willingly to anyone who need it more than me..u can say I’m naive , stupid, etc..but that’s the way I live..we are’nt the same. We live for to be happy, even u have a million dollars on your bank but u never content with that, u will never gonna be happy, we have our way to face this life..so, if u wanna be happy then be..don’t thinks unnecessary things
I like that this post gets it out of the way. Love and all that other stuff is good and all that for DATING, but for marriage? Money now enters the picture when it didn’t matter so much before. Especially if the woman wants kids. I think a lot of you guys are completely forgetting that fact. Only women can have kids, so if a woman wants to be rich (or at least have enough money to never worry about money again) and have kids (and actually be there for them), what is she meant to do?
I dated a rich man for 5 years. It was easier some ways but harder in others. He was so into his work and money that even when he was home he was on his phone and not paying much attention to me. We were in love….kinda I guess. I think we both just really wanted someone to love…or just not be alone anyway. But he payed for everything. And he bought me cars and expensive clothes and jewelry and anything I wanted and we ate at the Best restaurants. It changed me a little. I was wearing only name brands and acted like I was so cool and I was never someone that ever thought I was better than everyone. It was just being in that lifestyle I felt like I could have anything and if I couldn’t I would yell or get someone fired or just be a bitch to get it. But it was what I learned from him and when I realized how I was changing like that I didn’t like it so I actually tried changing him to be more like me and he tried and he’s a total city guy and I’m a country girl so very different people. Anyway I realized that money doesn’t solve everything. He would have done anything for money and I would have done anything for love.

Texts To Turn Him On


Your contribution to this article shows intelligence and apparent success. To be a self made millionaire, intelligence (and lots of luck) are of the paramount importance. I happened to have been married to a millionaire 10 years ago. At the time we met, I had no idea. We were both involved politically and just happened to have met over coffee in a hallway during break time. I found him interesting, intelligent, witty, and naturally self assured. He kept trying to date me, but I thought he was too old for me when he mentioned he had grandchildren! Finally I went to a sports event with him and discovered he was very fun to be with. We ended up traveling the world, enjoying his horses winning many races, and basically walking through life together. I wasn’t looking to meet a rich man, so easily and agreeably signed a pre nup he presented. Towards the end of his life, (he died from prostate cancer) his family started causing trouble and he sided with them. Therefore turbulence and controversy followed. However, we still got together and in spite of his family’s objections, took trips to New York, cruises, etc. We loved each other to the end. His money was never a major force with me; it only allowed us to walk in, and play in, any world “playground” we chose. He was a man of strength who taught me how to hobnob with the rich and famous, as well with the poor and lowly. I would do it all over again.


“As far as rules on when to return a text, don’t sit and bite your fingers counting the hours to pretend you’re not available,” Spira says. “If you hear from him and have your phone handy, respond in a reasonable time. This means within a few minutes to one hour. A study from online dating sites ChristianMingle.com and JDate showed that a reasonable response time is one hour or one to three hours. Anything after that sends a message that you’re really not that interested.”
True, I have no blog and am a consumer of PF blogs only, a point not lost on me and that I freely give to Sam (backup a couple posts and read my comments), however, I call bullshit when I see it Janey. Though I disagree with Sam on occasion, I make an effort to give him a hat tip as well for the massive effort he puts into his posts-this isn’t lost on me.
What makes people attracted is never "badness" (well, maybe the broken -1% will feel attracted to bad people), but confidence, coolness and the sense that you don't have to take care of someone else like a mother/father. People like it when someone acts as if they have their life together, like they have control over their emotions, like they are balanced. Like they won't make their lives more complicated by dating them. A little aloofness also makes things more spicy, as passions diminishes really bad after we get to know each other for long. Women like that also attract the regular guys like crazy.

Is He Falling In Love With Me

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