Everybody despises people who marry others for money. It’s the sort of thing that makes your skin crawl. I think a person who’s interested in a healthy relationship or marriage shouldn’t disclose any clues about their wealth in the first 6 months of their relationship. It’s the only way to weed out all the gold-diggers, male or female. On the other hand, if the rich party is older, he may have to resort to his wealth to do some attraction for him, which is sad.
I ended up here because I’m trying to “fix” my dating life, and I’m really not stuck up but a thought crossed my mind: rich men and beautiful women are in a similar category, in that both easily attract the wrong types of partners. I fall in the beautiful woman category (no, I’m not conceited but it just is what it is) and I have the hardest time dating, so while sitting at my desk feeling a bit deflated I thought, “You know, gold diggers probably try to snatch rich men all the time, while jerks try to get pretty women into bed all the time”.
Just because men don't fish for flattery (when was the last time you heard a guy ask, "Honey, do my pecs look small in this shirt?") doesn't mean they don't love ego stroking. "More than anything, men desire the feeling of being desired," says Bernstein. "When a man hears praise from his partner, it reinforces that she's attracted to him, which further intensifies his feelings for her."
Consider all the possible outcomes of dating your flatmate. If your dating relationship doesn’t work out, do you think you both could still continue being flatmates? Would living together be too much of a strain on a new dating relationship? If the age difference has you worried, consider how much age will truly impact your dating. Also consider how compatible you are together, your temperament, values, interests, and priorities. If these all seem to be a close match, then age shouldn’t matter so much.
If he’s not pursuing you, it’s time to stop pursuing him. Guys who are interested text back. Guys who aren’t don’t. Don’t bother trying to change his mind. You need to have the confidence to realize that if a guy doesn’t see how great you are, it’s his loss. Let go of him and move on to a guy who will be excited to have you in his life. You can’t fight for a guy who’s not fighting for you. At the end of the day, you just have to accept that no message is a message — that’s his way of telling you he’s just not interested.
When I write something, I write the kind of thing I would want someone to tell my sister if she was hurting and needed help with this question. So that means I’m going to write what I believe would help someone I love — even if it means saying things that might not fit within what’s politically correct to say. If it meant helping make sure I get a loved one out of pain, you can be damned sure I’m going to say it.
I just had to leave a comment on this issue… I was seeing a guy who was doing the exact same thing: texting all the time, showering me with attention, etc. I noticed after a while, we texted less and less, and pretty soon I was texting him and he would take hours, sometimes a full day to respond! I realized after doing some research on this site that I was way too readily available for him. I wasn’t making him chase me. I wasn’t making him sweat it out wondering what I’m doing and why i’m not resounding. I decided that I needed to back off the neediness factor 100%. It was really hard not texting him and wondering what I could have done wrong, and wishing I could go back in time and redo it all. But I stayed strong and kept myself busy. After exactly one week of silence, he texted me! He apologized and said he has been so busy… he asked if I’m doing OK… he responded to my texts within minutes–not hours or days! I suddenly felt a HUGE shift in power in our relationship. I was making him chase me… and he liked it! I’m telling you ladies… this really worked. I got my second chance to “redo” everything. And now I always keep my cool. I will be the first to talk tohim once in a while, but i usually wait for him to come to me. I thought I was being rude at first by doing this, but men are weird. He is actually drawn to me more the less I act like I want him. Try it. It will suck at first, but if your guy is anything like mine, your silence will act like a magnet and draw him right back to you!
So let’s say you’ve been texting for awhile and he suddenly stops texting. Your first reaction might be to send him 5 more text messages in hopes of saying something that might interest him. Don’t do this! If the convo has been going for at least an hour, it may be okay to send a “Did you get my text?” message if he hasn’t responded in over 15 minutes. But other than that, don’t bombard him with eager messages- wait for him.
I am a 25-year-old, college-educated, #workingwoman living in Los Angeles, and I have never had a boyfriend. “REALLY?!” is the response I usually receive. Yep, that’s right, World, during my 25 years on Earth, I have zip lined through the rain forests of Costa Rica, ran a half marathon in Central Park, and become a vegan, but I have not yet become a girlfriend.
Author Bio: Sam started Financial Samurai in 2009 to help people achieve financial freedom sooner, rather than later. He spent 13 years working in investment banking, earned his MBA from UC Berkeley, and retired at age 34 in San Francisco. Everything Sam writes is based on first-hand experience because money is too important to be left up to pontification.
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I sent one message saying hey I hope you made it.. First one was to Skype and no reply.. Second was to what’s app he replied I did make it A lot going on will get in touch with you soon.. It’s been 3 weeks and nothing I have backed off completely ..as I am unsure if he has or if he needs space due to his job and what he dealing with. How long do I wait I have no closure. Please advise, this man seems far to mature not to put closure on what we have we were even planning on me going to see him in the US.
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