Clinical psychologist Merry Lin writes in her book ‘The Fully Lived Life’, “Faking your way through life is believing that if you let people know the real you, they won’t like you. The tapes that play in your head say that if people really knew what was going on inside you, they would lose respect for you. While you play those roles, juggling those masks you have to wear and hiding your pain … the pressure increases to keep pretending you have it all together.”
You’ve heard that opposites attract? Well, forget about that. Many studies have revealed that people are likely to be attracted to individuals who resemble them. Whether due to social, cultural, developmental or some deeper psychological cause, your man will likely be more attracted to you if you remind him of himself. Cut your hair, start wearing similar clothes, if cosmetic surgery is an option then go for that.
I think it totally depends on the type of person you are. Each individual has a different threshold of “hard to get” that they are willing to tolerate. When you’re texting someone that you like and they are hard to get, it’s nauseating, exciting, and thrilling, waiting for someone to respond – the fact that it’s new and unknown is exciting. The anticipation and re-reading of texts can drive you mad but it’s that pain and agony that makes it so much better when they respond.”
While making plans, be as direct as possible. During their focus groups, Ansari and Dr. Klinenberg also noticed a texting trend they dubbed the “secretary problem,” where potential couples would spend so much time trying to “pencil each other in” they would burn out and the spark would fizzle before the first meetup. We asked Vanessa Marin, licensed marriage and family therapist and Lifehacker contributor, how to avoid the “secretary problem,” and she said it’s all about being specific:
I want say something for those who say about us ( ladies wanting rich guy) so many bad things….I’m separated after 12 years of marriage, few other relationships but I have many friends with opinion like mine. Why I want rich guy ? Because I finished with ‘sponsoring’ partner/s when I do my best, work hard night and days (financial specialist within government organisation) to pay bills, golf or horse lessons for my daughter, drive nice car, live in nice home with seeing basic stuff aren’t done by my partner at home, move out means me literally liftin heavy boxes, promises aren’t keep and the only what is done is work ( employment). I’m tired and just want strong, independent guy who will be real partner to share life with. I don’t want weak pu*** who put everything on my shoulders, I’m not materialistic, empty lady but I’m not gonna be in relationship any longer with someone who only take!
When you’re barraging a guy with a bunch of texts and he hasn’t answered you back yet, give him some space; give him some time to text you back. Texting should be kind of like ping-pong. You want your conversation with him to be interactive; you want it to go back and forth. When you start machine gun texting him, he doesn’t have time to text you back and it gets completely overwhelming and turns him off. Phew. All right.
In order to figure out how to make things happen off the Internet, I spoke to expert Adam LoDolce, who gives advice to both men and women as "The Dating Confidence Coach". His new e-book, *The Top 5 Reasons Why Quality Guys Are NOT Approaching You (and How to Change That) *) deals with the subject (and can be downloaded for free!) and he agreed to give us his best tips for how get the guys to approach.
Mirroring is a psychological tactic that has been used for years. When done incorrectly, you can come across like a major creep, but when done right, mirroring is highly effective to make your guy fall in love. Mirroring is all about staying in tune with your guy's actions. If you go out to dinner, and he takes a sip of his drink, take a sip of your drink, too. If he leans in while telling a good story, lean in toward him, as well. Mimicking his body movements will lead him to believe that the two of you are on the same wavelength, and he won't be able to stop himself from feeling attracted to you.
As a guy, I can tell you we are always in the mood to have sex with a hot girl. As long as you are hot, you don't have to do anything. The problem is that, it is very hard to tell whether a girl wants it or not and we live in a legal society, just because you are not trying to rape a girl, don't necessary mean a jury see it the same way. Unless she give verbal consent it would take some courage to make a move on a girl physically. The type of thing you see in movie, where a guy just walked up to the girl he like and kiss her, don't happen that often in real life, because, if she doesn't like it, that is sexual assault. (Any unconsented/unwelcome sexual act is qualify as sexual assault including rape, the only justification for it, is if you have reasonable reason to believe she consent, but just because you believe you have reason to believe she consent, don't mean a jury see it the same way.)
Find out what other people think of him. Ask around about what this guy is like. If his friends seem honestly happy about the idea of him being in a relationship, that is a good sign. Ask mutual friends about what they think about him and try to get to know his friends or coworkers as well. However, judging a guy entirely on what other's think is not the best way to go. People may have a bad idea of him for the wrong reasons; it's best to get to know him yourself too.
I don't know about you guys, but I hardly ever meet guys in regular life situations. You may have noticed that most of the dating escapades I tell you about are of the online persuasion. Which is fine, and I'll continue to try that angle, but it would be nice once in a while to just meet a guy the old-fashioned way, right? (By old-fashioned I mean like, at a bar. Not an arranged marriage or anything.)
Guys are looking for someone who will be loving and nurturing, and the best way to show him your mothering instincts is to express how much you care for others. Women who own a furry friend are seen as more suitable partners for long-term relationships because if you can take on the responsibility of owning a pet, you can pretty much take on anything!
First, let’s look at the possible reasons a man will text back and some of the common reasons he won’t. Afterward, I am going to explain some mindset shifts that will make him more likely to text back, give your relationship the best chance of succeeding and then finally give you specific tips and tricks that will increase the chance of him texting you back.
My daughter is a pretty young lawyer from a middle class family and is married to a handsome young, rich doctor from a wealthy family. All things being equal, what seemed to charm him the most was that, although she had dated many men over the years, she had only been intimate with one man before him. He was actually quite sexually active before he met my daughter(which is why she insisted on std testing before they were intimate!). Anyway, I guess what I’m getting at is that even though she is beautiful, fit, smart, and has many of the other attributes mentioned in the article; I think what made her stand out above the rest to him was that she had respect for herself and in turn, he valued her highly and wanted her to be his wife and the mother to his children.
Via the process of operant conditioning, the crafty balancing of reward and punishment in response to certain behaviours, he will soon learn to be faithful and committed to you. It’s important to balance this with deterring of unsuitable behaviours too. If he wants to spend time with his friends and not you, if he wants to get an early night rather than stay up all night talking, make sure he regrets it considerably. Call the police and tell them he’s got a bomb, or release a wild leopard into his room as he tries to sleep. He won’t find early nights so relaxing after that.
How To Make Him Into You