There was a clear divide here. Two out of three of the 20 – 23 year olds said there is nothing appealing about someone being “hard to get.” David, 20, clarifies, “It makes them seem conceited and uninterested.” Nate, 30, weighs in with the younger crowd on this one, stating that “nothing” is appealing about a girl who is “hard to get.” He advocates the “straight to the point” approach: “I am always one who is aggressive and goes after what I want. You know pretty quickly if someone is into you or if you are into them. Whether it’s via text, at a bar or Steak ‘n Shake, “hard to get” is a thing of the past. I have noticed over past 3-4 years even females have been more aggressive in pursuit.”

I don’t know how I have never read your advice columns before, but these have made me feel like I know more than ever before. So I have been talking to this guy that I met online in January. We have not met yet because I was away at school and only just got home. He initiated the relationship and used to be incredibly attentive to me. He would text me, sext me, call me…it was great. All of a sudden he says we are moving too fast and now he rarely texts me at all. He doesn’t answer my texts some times and it makes me crazy because he claims to want to talk to me more and meet me but I don’t know what to think. Please help.

Lust works in bizarre ways. Get this: If you want to renew your man's passion for you, slyly capture the eye of another guy. "Men do become more attentive and turned on by their partners when they see them being desired by other men," says Buss. Aimee, 27, knows all about this surprising strategy: "When I get dressed up and guys at the bar check me out, I know Will's thinking, Yeah, that's right. She's with me, suckers," she says. "And he's definitely clingier when he can smell the competition."

Men can detect that the office interaction is a little sour or frigid. How to become great, gorgeous and sweet, and use flirting, charisma and creating the setting, so that men might make passes at you at least once a day and have suitors in the office occasionally walking around you. Take care of your body with good nutrition, hygiene and exercise; why not? Use a beautician and fashion stylist to optimize your looks.


What it means is that the more money you make the more you are taxed. The more the government finds ways to take it away from you. In order to live legally, you must pay this embezzlement from the US government. and there is a certain point where your income is the same as someone making 1/2 the amount as you and being taxed less. Which really isn’t fair!! But even through this embezzlement, you can still make and save a million if you are committed to it. There comes a curtain point where you can surpass this 1/2 point and begin to gain, again once you actually can save past it. but it is a tough plateau. Once you save past the plateau it gets easier to save.

Similarity, in terms of personality, doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be mirror images of each other (in fact that might get a little boring). The important thing here is being open to each other’s interests.  If he likes hockey, watch a game with him at least once or twice. If he’s a country music guy, and you can’t get enough hip-hop, well, at least you can both appreciate a strong love for music.


I know a woman who went out with a man she met on OKCupid. The chemistry wasn’t there, so they decided to be friends. He invited her to a party he was hosting, and she brought her friends. Now they’re all friends, and the ladies often ask the gentleman for advice on reading men. That’s a bonus in my book, to have a male friend who can give you a different perspective on dating than your girlfriends!
Your post made me think of this viral e-mail that went around a few years back from a 25-year old girl looking for a wealthy man ($250,000 will not get her Central Park West so you need half a million to be up to her standards). In response, a banker calls this a bad business deal and a depreciating asset. An interesting read if you haven’t seen it already.
I worked with one couple for whom this was the case: Rob had taken a new job several hours away. Emily stayed back, preparing their house for a sale. At the same time, they argued about whether or not to get a dog. Emily argued that a dog would provide her with some needed company, and make her feel secure when alone in their home. In his logical, analytical way, Rob gave her every reason why the timing was not right, for example: How could you show the house with a puppy running around, peeing on the floor? On an intellectual level, Emily knew he was right, but her heart insisted she would be happier with the dog. They went through several weekends during which all they did was fight about the dog issue. Emily thought Rob was being cold and unfeeling. Rob thought Emily was being unreasonable. With much coaxing, Rob agreed to accompany Emily to the local animal shelter “just to look” at dogs. When Rob saw all those rows and rows of dogs in cages, knowing that most of them would probably be put to death, he began sobbing. Emily said she had never seen him cry so hard. She had been thinking to herself that he didn't have any feelings, when nothing could have been further from the truth.
There’s this guy we met in summer school and had a thing but fell out , now he hit me up again and we’ve been talking for 1 year and 5 months but he hasn’t came to see me even once. Everytime I ask him he says he does like me he’s just been really busy with school and work and hasn’t the free time but makes promises to make the time soon, idk what to do if I should continue waiting or give up cuz it’s been so long, now it feels like we talk even less he replies once a day if I get lucky and I asked him if he’d just like me to leave I have no problem with it but he insists he’s just mad busy idk what to do plz help
Most people enjoy little signs of positivity, especially in the morning, a “good morning” text being one of them. This text essentially means you thought of them first thing when you woke up. Yes, that’s right, before caffeine and teeth brushing. Guys may act like they think texts like these are stupid and cliché, but in my experience, when they’re accustomed to it, they start to miss them when they’re gone. If you want to mix it up a bit a "have a good day "text can also have the same effect.
I dated a rich man for 5 years. It was easier some ways but harder in others. He was so into his work and money that even when he was home he was on his phone and not paying much attention to me. We were in love….kinda I guess. I think we both just really wanted someone to love…or just not be alone anyway. But he payed for everything. And he bought me cars and expensive clothes and jewelry and anything I wanted and we ate at the Best restaurants. It changed me a little. I was wearing only name brands and acted like I was so cool and I was never someone that ever thought I was better than everyone. It was just being in that lifestyle I felt like I could have anything and if I couldn’t I would yell or get someone fired or just be a bitch to get it. But it was what I learned from him and when I realized how I was changing like that I didn’t like it so I actually tried changing him to be more like me and he tried and he’s a total city guy and I’m a country girl so very different people. Anyway I realized that money doesn’t solve everything. He would have done anything for money and I would have done anything for love.
It sounds like you may have selected the wrong partner. If she isn’t willing to adjust her spending you will have to let her go. Was she with you before you had money? Has she ever had to earn money on her own? If not it maybe very hard for her to adjust her lifestyle. She may just try to find another man to meet your spending requirements. I would advise men to not reveal their level of wealth when meeting a woman to see how she responds to you when she doesn’t know you have money.
Neediness is crippling to the quality of any relationship (whether it’s a guy or woman acting needy) and it’s something you need to prevent from creeping into your mind at all costs.  Needy texts are guaranteed to be ignored by a guy. Personally, I don’t ignore needy texts out of cruelty – I ignore them because it’s an insatiable relationship monster that I don’t ever want to feed (metaphorically speaking).
I don't know whether I like this guy or not and one of my friend also have crush on him but he doesn't like this girl and he alsof told me notrim to friend with her.Whenever he sees me he tried to smile at me and of course I also smile back at him and sometimes he really feel so shyam that his face turned very red and he looks really cute.Everyday I text with him but not everyday whenever I have free time.
If you’re wondering how to find a boyfriend, sweetie, get in line! There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but who wants to date a fish? We want boyfriends, and we want good ones, now! I’ve done loads of research, and put myself through a grueling dating boot-camp, so I can help, at least a little. Here are 8 ways to find a boyfriend. Are you ready?

Conversation Starters For Texting


When asked the difference between a “weekday” text and a “weekend” text, Nate, 30, says that there isn’t one – “unless it is after midnight and the bars are closing.” I feel compelled here to remind everyone of the Jersey Shore wisdom of “Nothing good happens after 2:00 A.M.” (unless you’re at Steak ’n Shake – and Nate will be there with chivalry and cheese fries).
Hi Eric, I’m stuck and not sure if you can help but I thought I’d give it a shot. So me and my ex(it’s complicated) met at a party in May. I was 22 and he was 19. What I thought was a one night stand turned out to be a relationship. He said he’s faithful and doesn’t do one night stands and wanted to get to know me (he was drunk when he said this). Anyways after a month of friends with benefits and me slightly pressuring him on making me out, we started dating. Although the relationship still seemed like friends with benefits just with the added title. We would mostly hangout at my apartment, have sex, and then he would leave, everytime! I confronted him about this and he’s said it was because of his parents, even though he was an adult he had a curfew, even though it was usually around 2am when he would leave. Things were good though he made me feel good about myself, would always make me laugh, even bought me flowers after a small fight we had. Then it started going downhill when August came around. He goes to school in another state and we both knew that soon we wouldn’t be able to spend time like this anymore. He started hanging out with his friends more and bailing on plans with me. Along with that other things about his personality started to bother me so a week before I confronted him on how our relationship was not working out and how I wasn’t happy anymore I felt like he didn’t care about me like he used to. This talk was so heartbreaking, he started crying which made me start crying and we came to the decision to break up but still talk to each other to see if the long distance thing could work. He didn’t want the clean break because he said he loved me but hated how I always got mad at little things. So we left it at that. Since then we barely talked up until this week when he came home for thanksgiving break. Upon his arrival all I got was a snapchat saying he was back in town. I asked where he was and he replied saying he was at his friends. That night I awkwardly saw him for 2 seconds and left to go downtown to the bars with my friends. He said his phone was dead so when I get back I should text his friend. So I did when I got back and him and his friends were all still hanging out. I stayed up waiting for him to come over but he never showed. He texted me at 4 am saying he found a charger, and I replied by asking if he was coming over. He didn’t reply for 2 days. So I got depressed and decided I would not text him back. (I know this is my flaw, I’m a spiteful person) So after the 2 days he sent a text asking “What are you doing late tonight?” I thought it was a booty call and didn’t feel like responding anyways. The next night he asked if I wanted to come to a party, then what I was doing, and then attempted to call me but I ignored it. Today I texted him and asked when he was planning on leaving and his reply was that he already left. And this conversation lead to all the issues we had in our relationship. He doesn’t make me feel appreciated and/or loved because he doesn’t show that he cares. His words>”nothing is good enough for you, you hold ridiculous standards, and you get mad for the smallest reasons”. In my heart I know I should end it because we’re obviously not good for each other but at the same time I’m pretty sure I love him and think maybe he’ll mature when he’s older. Since he’s still 19 and I’m now 23. I do care about him a lot and he says the same for me. Do you think we could learn to accept each others flaws/ mistakes or should we just completely end things?

Men are in a "double-bind" when it comes to expressing emotions. Although men may not always know what they're feeling, there's one thing they’re sure about: They’re convinced they’re in a major double bind. Society encourages men to express their feelings, but when they do, their partners are often petrified, if not horrified. Women, they may believe, want their partners to show their feelings, but only certain feelings, and only in doses they can handle. In fact, results from numerous research studies—as well as clinical experience—tells us that men may be right to be wary of women who implore them to show their true feelings. Men who deviate from the traditional masculine norm by being emotionally expressive and talking about their fears are often judged as being poorly adjusted.
Men will never need to worry about this in the same way women will, even if you say you will happily be a stay-at-home dad. Well, fine, but what if the woman wants to be a stay-at-home mum? Then guess what? The MAN needs to go out and earn the money… for women, it’s easier to find a man with money first, then to get a poor man and somehow make him make money.
My dad is a ‘rich man’ and my mom a trophy wife. I love them both, but growing up I knew I never wanted to be my mom. She doesn’t have a lot of autonomy in their relationship. She has a beautiful life, but it’s always been subject to his approval. That said, now it would be hard to find a man who lives up to my dad, even though I wouldn’t want to be my mom, I still wouldn’t want to marry less than my dad.
Bitter, much? If you were so great, you would have no problem meeting and keeping a great girl. The one you mentioned was not, but that doesn’t mean all women are like that, and it’s extremely ignorant and childish to say so. My ex bought me a brand new mkz for my birthday in our 6 year together… Then lost absolutely everything. I stayed as I loved him deeply, and got a job, then 2 jobs. He wasn’t rich when I first met him, either.
You have a serious problem if he is too shy to talk with you. How will you ever communicate about all the important issues you are likely to face in a long-term relationship? I'm not sure what kind of a relationship you're in or how long you've been together, but if you can't convince him to trust you enough to open up and communicate with you, I genuinely believe you'd be better off with someone else. And I suspect he'd be happier if he waits until he finds a partner better suited to him. Either someone who is happy and comfortable with the silence or someone who has the unique qualities he needs to allow him to feel comfortable enough to be open and communicative.
Yes, humans like to feel needed. No, they don't want to feel as though you might collapse into a boneless snivelling heap if they're not around. "A woman who knows what she likes and makes every effort to get it is very attractive," says Kerner. "In fact, when a woman like that needs someone it makes them feel all the more valuable – because it's as though she needs them specifically, rather than just any old person."
Thanks for this insightful post... Yup, sure feels like a double or even triple bind. I'm supposed to be emotionally available, but also strong and brave and self reliant and have all the answers and be able to deal with everything fearlessly...and heaven help me if I express doubt, fear, anxiety, shame, what if I say "I feel from being orphaned in childhood I am unlovable and unloved.." Wow..that will get you stared at as a basket case, a damaged person...

Try to make him his best self. Everybody wants to be with someone who makes them a better person. It makes us feel good about ourselves and reassures us that we can be good people if we try. Make this guy the best version of himself by encouraging him to do the things he loves and giving him the space to do those things. However, don't push too hard. If he tells you dot back off, listen.
Texting someone back takes less than a minute. Some guys act like texting is such a huge hassle and asking too much, but look at the reality of that thought process. Your phone alerts you when you get a message and that notification doesn’t go away until you check the message. Even if he doesn’t have time at the moment, it’s not like he can just forget that red bubble staring him in the face. When he does open the message, texting back usually takes less than a minute. Would any guys like to explain once again how that’s asking too much?
Lust works in bizarre ways. Get this: If you want to renew your man's passion for you, slyly capture the eye of another guy. "Men do become more attentive and turned on by their partners when they see them being desired by other men," says Buss. Aimee, 27, knows all about this surprising strategy: "When I get dressed up and guys at the bar check me out, I know Will's thinking, Yeah, that's right. She's with me, suckers," she says. "And he's definitely clingier when he can smell the competition."
Sure, in an ideal world, a woman should be able to make her fortune and also have enough time to date, get married and have kids. Unfortunately, the problem is time. Getting rich takes a lot of time and it’s a myth that once you make enough money, you can just sit back and relax (actually the opposite). But with that said, this is not impossible but I do think it’s “harder” for a woman to become financially rich and THEN have kids (like when she’s 35-40) then the other way around. Mainly because by the time you become “rich”, you’re used to that lifestyle. To switch roles and suddenly be a stay at home mum and not worry about money anymore.. well does that happen when your source of income is solely on you?
Make fun of yourself. A surefire way to get someone to smile over text is to make fun of yourself in a tongue-in-cheek kind of way. By making fun of yourself, you get them laughing and show that it’s okay for them to let their guard down. They’ll feel more comfortable with you, which will allow them to become more attracted to you. Examples: “I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.” or “Take my advice — I’m not using it!”

How To Get A Guy To Want You Sexually


Seems like the process of you getting wealthy doesn’t appeal to you because it will take too much time (don’t want to be a workaholic mom who has no time to see her kids, totally agree, but); you want to only consider a man who has gone through this process and been successful, and then he is only useful for helping fulfill the life YOU want? I may be missing something, but that seems a little unreasonable….
I love your answer JustMe. I am a female and went on from being a nurse to getting my doctorate in nursing- DNP. Being any type of nurse certainly does not constitute being affiliated with being a hooker. It sounds like the original female surgeon poster is lonely and in pain from being hurt in her own relationships. She is clearly lashing out in a demeaning manner. I hope she finds what she is looking for…and as for a surgeon, I’m sure she knows she made a very ignorant, rude and generalized statement stemming from her own experiences.
Confused as I can possibly be. Our phone conversations are fantastic – we talk about everything, very in depth conversations about different things. Now I haven’t heard from him in more than a day and I literally have no idea why that is. We usually text every day – he recently had a large work project which he told me he would me very unavailable, so I didn’t expect any texts but he would still send me something during the day just a quick “I miss you” or “Thinking of you”. He is back, we have texted and talked by phone then yesterday – nothing – for the first time in 3 months – absolutely nothing. I text him yesterday day morning to say I hoped his meetings went well and that I knew he would be awsome in his work and that I was thinking of him. He has just started a new personal project that he is working on and we have talked about extensively. And now NOTHING!!!! He has told me he more than cares for me and that one day it’s just all going to come spilling out. He and I talk about the unusual connection we both feel and on and on. I am just so torn because I have feelling for this person and from everything he has said, he does as well. I have not text him since yesterday morning and I do not plan to. I feel like the ball is in his court at this point. I just enjoy him so much and as I said, I care for him. I have a very full life myself so I am busy with projects of my own. So I understand very much being busy. I just find it odd that during his other busy times, he still found a second to send me a quick message and now….????? I have told him how those little messages make me feel special and how much I appreciate him taking the time to send me that to let me know he is thinking of me. Almost as soon as I acknowledged those things – he hasn’t done it. He asks me if I am happy – and I answer that I am – because I am a happy person – I don’t rely on him to make me happy – he ads to my happiness however, which perhaps I should tell him that in that way, I usually just answer that questions with a “yes, I am”. And I have been, until right now – I am utterly confused – my heart feels like a small hole has formed for some crazy reason. HELP!!!!!!!!
I am the co-author of Dying of Embarrassment, Painfully Shy, and Nurturing the Shy Child. Dying of Embarrassment: Help for Social Anxiety & Phobia was found to be one of the most useful and scientifically grounded self-help books in a research study published in Professional Psychology, Research and Practice. I’ve also been featured in the award-winning PBS documentary, Afraid of People. My husband, Greg, and I also co-authored Illuminating the Heart: Steps Toward a More Spiritual Marriage.
#16. Be COMFORTABLE around him – He wants to grab your love handles, and suddenly you are pulling away, asking him if he thinks you’re fat.You also become insecure when he wants to make love to you. Or you just struggle to open up to him. All of these things tell him that you are not comfortable around him, make him feel insecure, and make him QUESTION the point of marrying you.
6. Be open to what he wants to try in the bedroom. If he says “you’re Benjamin Franklin and I’m a space goat,” just do it! If he wants to cry after prematurely ejaculating, just let him! Then make him a snack. But most importantly, be open to what he wants OUT of the bedroom. In general, just do what he says, always, because one way to make a man love you forever and ever is to pretend you’re a living doll.
Get to know (and understand) what he does. This is something that could dramatically increase your chances of winning his love. Take opportunities to get involved in things he does. Ask him whether he needs any help to accomplish a task. If he discovers that you are keenly interested in his plans, he will see that you care for him and that you could be a good partner.
A guy in my church was madly interested in me, but the church members in my congregation fiercely oppose to him dating me. To them he should choose another who are their friend. He no longer in my congregation, but, he is still interested. The church members lied about me, spread a bunch of lies. He’s good friend with them, but i don’t communicate with him. I called and texted him once, he hasn’t replied back. I occasionally see him. When he sees me i can tell that his world lights up. I believe i love this guy too very much. Everywhere i go i carry him in my spirit. Can i tell him how i feel about him? I want to move on. What do you suggest???
I hate sound repetitive, but loads of single people who are never married with no kids get mislead by a romantic partner every day of the week. Only you can determine if it is worth going to a court of law. That said, I would not condone any person trying to manipulate another in their time of grief. It is morally wrong. I can tell you the conduct I have seen first hand upon the death of a loved one can be atrocious.

What To Text A Guy

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