* Develop a strong network of friends. You don’t have to have a ton of friends, just enough where you can spend all your time with them as if you didn’t have a man in your life. A rich man worries his woman will smother him if they get too close. Once you have a couple friends to go out with for dinner or shows, you provide a man some relief that he doesn’t have to always entertain you. Develop your own world and invite him in.
Impossible for a man to believe that he is not carrying 90% of the load even if the woman does 90%. If the woman is the breadwinner, they think they are so smart to get a woman to do that. They may disguise it by saying they are so lucky, etc. In my marriage when I was very young, I did all the visioning, planning, and executing and convincing him that not spending $5. now would mean we had $10 to spend next year. It was so easy to get ahead with a little application, but to make himself feel like he was in control and behind it all, he was a slob and abusive to me, and then he could also blame me for no sex. He dumped me and claimed all our property (no character at all). I did check him out with people who knew him and the family and they all gave him the A-1 rating for being a good guy. But I was vindicated later when friends reported the second and third wives were abused in the same way. Never mind, I left and never looked back.

I've never been with a boyfriend because of my friends. I started talking to these guys separately, without any involvement of friends. Dating sites are always a could choice if you're a bit more shy; it's nothing to be embarrassed about, it's a good choice for some people. If you're comfortable going up to people in clubs then that is also a possibility, though not always the best. Usually meeting someone in the club just ends up in a drunken one night stand… It doesn't have to obviously, just saying that anywhere where you're drinking can end in a less than serious way. The work environment is a good way to meet people as well. My last boyfriend I actually met through my brother; so any family member could be that “friend” you want to find someone. Though that may be uncomfortable for some people so it's understandable if you don't wish to do that (or maybe have no siblings). There are many opportunities; anytime you're out and about is an opportunity. The longer you're “out” the more likely it is to find a potential boyfriend. Go to public events, things you like. One commenter mentioned something like if you like anime go to an anime convention. Things along those lines are good. A public event that you actually want to go to is a good time to meet new people who also have similar interests.


The punctuation you use matters as well. Research suggests that using periods to end all of your messages can make them seem “too final” and insincere. At the same time, an exclamation point has been shown to make messages seem more sincere. For example, there’s a big difference between the texts “I’m fine.” and “I’m fine!” when you’re on the receiving end. The first almost looks angry, while the other one seems light and carefree. Also, if you’re asking a question, always use a question mark to avoid confusion.
Now when it comes to "getting" your man, there is one thing you must not do if you want a man to see a future with you. Do not treat him like some kind of project that needs to be fixed because it immediately brings up the walls. If you have the urge to try to change his clothes, his circle of friends, the way he talks, what he loves to do — don't do it!
If he wants a relationship, he’ll make an effort. If he’s not willing to do the work or put in the time, it means that you’re just not important to him. Do you really want to go after a guy who doesn’t see you as a priority in his life? If you’re doing all the work and he never even meets you in the middle, you’re just going to end up exhausted and unsatisfied. Remember — guys who have a real interest know how to make an effort.

Then there's my sister, who claims she's there to help me meet girls. She recently asked me to meet her friend, but I wasn't interested upon meeting that friend. Just a week later, my sister had me meet her at a bar because she had a friend I just "had to meet." My sister grabbed me by the arm and led me through the crowd, yelling cliché "guys love this" phrases like:
I just came across this article while I am panicking waiting for a response from a man. Thanks, it’s a good read. I met him 2 weeks ago outside a club, and asked for his number, which he gave me. I text him the day after and he replied very fast, but then I noticed he was matching my response times. Our last communication was 3 days ago, I text him today and 4 hours later, still waiting for a reply! He said he would know about something we had discussed on Monday (yesterday) but he never got back to me. We haven’t arranged a proper first date yet, although he has mentioned “we should go out so some weekend”
Disqualify yourself. To look more confident and avoid coming across as needy, playfully disqualify yourself from your crush’s dating pool. That is, joke about how the two of you would never be right for each other. You could, for instance, text something like: “Woah, woah! You like [thing s/he likes]? I didn’t know you were that type! I might have to get my mom’s permission just to kick it with you…” By playfully pushing away like this, you create that space for the other person to chase you.
Similar to mirroring, walking at the pace of your mate is another way to show him you're in sync. Guys tend to walk faster than women (damn you, high heels!) so you'll definitely have to keep up the pace to stay in tune with his stride! Over time, you will notice that your guy's pace will actually slow down so that you're able to keep up with him without completely killing your feet. This is a sign that he's really starting to fall for you!
And if he doesn’t? It means you missed something. You weren’t right for one another and he picked up on it. This doesn’t now mean you should carry on seeing him “just in case” or “try to make it work.” It means you sadly say farewell to this promising lead, and go out and start the whole process again until you find the guy who says yes. The guy who feels exactly the same as you do.
I came across this site i find it funny you read articles of men looking for good women just be friends but at the end always always send photo im coming out of 30 yr relationship where im glad i never married i have 4 beautiful daughters from him but caught him in bed with my younger cousin so i walkd out and left everything now i just work and dream of someone coming into my life and treating me well and being nice and not taking every penny i had i never really had that in my life someone that spent time with me or bought me stuff guess i was the idiot but lesson learned and not gonna make me bitter towards men cause im sure theres still few good ones out there

While making plans, be as direct as possible. During their focus groups, Ansari and Dr. Klinenberg also noticed a texting trend they dubbed the “secretary problem,” where potential couples would spend so much time trying to “pencil each other in” they would burn out and the spark would fizzle before the first meetup. We asked Vanessa Marin, licensed marriage and family therapist and Lifehacker contributor, how to avoid the “secretary problem,” and she said it’s all about being specific:

Pinning down this date is a huge accomplishment. I have plenty of attractive friends who have bonded with a cute guy at a party and then never seen him again. Mutual sexual attraction is not enough; emotional compatibility is also critical. As I gulp down my drink that I will act like I’m going to pay for at the end of the date by “reaching for my wallet,” I pray that he realized my latest comment was sarcastic, that I didn’t sound like a complete idiot when he brought up politics, and that I’m exuding the confidence of Beyoncé. Also, that noise was just the sound of my chair moving against the ground, not a fart! Ugh, dates are hard. So hard that I don’t know if either of us will want to do this with each other again. Which brings me to:
It takes time to lock down a handsome multi-millionaire fella. You’ve got to take my advice to heart and proactively be in environments that accommodate such potential interactions. If you haven’t found someone wealthy, don’t worry. Millions of couples are perfectly happy without being wealthy. Life with someone you care about is infinitely better than coming home to an empty bed. May all of you find someone!
My guy went from texting every day to going MIA for a couple of days after I told him how I felt about him. I realized in reading this article that when I told him I liked him, it was for him and not for me…so while I would have liked a reply I didn’t need it to feel secure about his feelings. Ok, maybe I was a tiny bit worried about whether he would reply because he could have gone into the freak out phase. You were right, the sexy text did the trick. It took 3 minutes for him to get back to me after 2 days of radio silence. It felt good to give him something nice to look at during his long work day :)

Take it slow. Don't rush your new friend, but remember: if he doesn't like you for who you are, don't spend time trying to get him. Don't hope he'll be your boyfriend right away- give him time to get to know you too. Hang out every once in a while to begin with, then start hanging out more often if it's going well. Usually, if you hit it off and have a lot of fun together, the friendship will grow on its own into more frequent visits. Try not to be that person who looks too desperate; you don’t need to decide that he is your future husband within the first week of meeting him.


Seems like the process of you getting wealthy doesn’t appeal to you because it will take too much time (don’t want to be a workaholic mom who has no time to see her kids, totally agree, but); you want to only consider a man who has gone through this process and been successful, and then he is only useful for helping fulfill the life YOU want? I may be missing something, but that seems a little unreasonable….
I like that this post gets it out of the way. Love and all that other stuff is good and all that for DATING, but for marriage? Money now enters the picture when it didn’t matter so much before. Especially if the woman wants kids. I think a lot of you guys are completely forgetting that fact. Only women can have kids, so if a woman wants to be rich (or at least have enough money to never worry about money again) and have kids (and actually be there for them), what is she meant to do?
Advice, never compromise with guys, you only give them control over your life, YOUR life, and they will guilt you and manipulate you and tell you you are a bad person but in my honest opinion and literally the best thing I’ve ever done was to “brutally” put my foot down. It took two weeks because he just wouldn’t give up, crying and saying he was going to kill himself (because I told him a. I don’t care to hear about his “superior” arguments against feminists or black people r anything at all and then b. when I ignored him or get this, DIDN’T SEEM HAPPY when he ignored my request started crying, telling me I became an awful person and how I make him want to kill himself.)
Hi Eric! About man’s texting habits, when you’re in a relationship and the guy, being busy, responds to texts but doesn’t actually initiate contact for a couple of days or so, can it mean he doesn’t care that much about our relationship? I mean, from your perspective, don’t the guys feel the need to check in if we’re OK, or is that a sign that they don’t even think about us?
And if he doesn’t? It means you missed something. You weren’t right for one another and he picked up on it. This doesn’t now mean you should carry on seeing him “just in case” or “try to make it work.” It means you sadly say farewell to this promising lead, and go out and start the whole process again until you find the guy who says yes. The guy who feels exactly the same as you do.
Me and my bf are dating one and a half year now, he works in an investment bank and he is older than me 15 years. He is rich enough to buy few houses for investment but he never spend much money on me, we go out to dinner at normal places, we take public transportation even he does drive. He has tons of money spenting on his own but never share with me.
Researchers at the University of Liverpool found that we're more likely to go for people who look similar to us because we perceive certain facial attributes as clues to personality. Laughter lines, frown lines, wide smiles, restrained expressions are all indications of what a person is like – sociable, friendly, shy, emotional – so we seek out people who look as though they'd be compatible with us.
The confines of a socialization process; restricting men to show the full scope of the emotional inner life. That kind of reasoning sounds interesting in a typical psychological way but fails to take into account the broader social life of individuals. Perhaps that many men feel confined by such a socialization process, but what about those who do not feel this confinement? I guess men trying to fully share their emotions is part of an emanicaption process. For other men it's just not applicable; they share their emotions in a different way, e.g. through doing chores or giving presents. Finally, which human being (man or woman) does not feel confined by socialization processes?! These give way to a more successful participation in society, but at the same time impose boundaries of social behaviour in which we can feel either comfortable or not.
5. Neurotics needn't apply. You both need to be emotionally healthy to forge a successful relationship, says Neil Clark Warren, Ph.D., who founded a cyber matchmaking service called eHarmony.com in 2000. For instance, it's not a good sign if you're in the relationship primarily because you're frightened of being alone. It's equally bad if your guy looks as longingly at the gin bottle as he does at you. Or if he's morbidly depressed. Don't fall into the codependent trap and think you can "heal" him. It's smarter to look for a man who doesn't need healing.
I appreciate that this book is about subtle nuances too. Often we don't know what we do wrong because it's not anything big but a subtle signal, and we don't know why our positive signals are ignored & that's because they are TOO subtle. This advice rang true because I've noted men in general communicate more with action & are generally MORE sensitive than women, meaning they need LOUDER positive signals & SOFTER negative ones. The author refers to this as the "fragile male ego" which is really SENSITIVITY.
Anyway, Sam, you did it again. You had me doing some serious introspection over the past few days thinking about that period in my life and what kind of “advice” I could give. And, well, I concluded that I have no advice to give, and that I wasn’t really a golddigger (I was labeled one after the fact by “friends” with double standards). I actually did not have a method I could share and nothing I did or what happened to me can really be replicated. I was not looking for a rich guy, it wasn’t even a goal. I didn’t go places looking for one hoping some would be there to meet, I didn’t know who was who when I went out, I didn’t dress or put on airs when around certain people. And, because I come from the land of golddiggers, I used to deliberately avoid and get grossed out by old rich dudes who would try to hit on me and put as much distance as possible between that “kind of girl” and me. Until, I finally did start dating rich guys, of which there were only two in my history, AND, they didn’t take care of me, they didn’t give me anything I couldn’t get even at that time on my own. Also, THEY found and pursued ME. And, gasp! I had a genuine connections with them!
Telling your man that you think he’s hot will give him a little confidence boost throughout the day, especially since he knows you’re thinking of it. This is definitely geared toward people already in relationships so it won't sound so out of the blue. A few examples could be "you looked cute in your Snapchat you sent me" or "how did I get so lucky?" Make sure you're sending texts not only he's comfortable with, but you're comfortable with as well. There's definitely a difference between "ay daddy *insert heart eyes*" and "wow you look good."
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