I do agree that men are caught between a rock & a hard place when it comes to emotions. So I think we need to educate women on their expectations of men alongside self reliance. My ex husband became an alcoholic rather than tell me how he was feeling & as a result our marriage ended. But my new partner & I do talk about our feelings, even though he struggles doing this. But I'm a trained counsellor & I'm completely happy in my own skin too + I'm thrilled to have found such a wonderful man!
I have never been the type of girl to worry if a guy answers my texts or not. Then I meet this guy that’s really kind and before he asked me out we both had said that we didn’t want a relationship since we both had recently gotten out of one. We were good and he texted me all day, everyday. They were light, funny texts. Around October, November he says he likes me but he didn’t want to push me into a relationship ( i’m 19 and he’s 22) so I told him that I liked him too and that we could take things slow to see if we would work out. After I said yes, his texts started to become sweeter but less, we wouldn’t text ALL the time like before. I had no problem since i’m in college and I never see him all the time either ( We’ve only seen each other once and that was in November). I try not to text him everyday so we only talk once maybe twice a week and it never long possibly 1 hour. I was on spring break last week and he said that he was going to text me to see when we could go out. He never texted me and, to not sound needy, I didn’t text him either. I sent him a text saying Hi when I got back to school and he hasn’t answered( and that was on Monday). I don’t want to push him so I haven’t sent another one, what do I do? Do I still wait for him to answer?
Hi my case is a bit different. This guy with whom i had a veery long time affair (age difference of 15 year, he being 25 and me 40, so we couldn´t be gf and bf) used to text me every day and quite often as he lived far away (other city 7 hours away) from where i live. He moved now only 40 min away and said he was afraid of us becoming too close and he also realized he wanted a girlfriend as he thinks he is missing something in life by not having a real relationship. So we kind of “split” and obviously his texts are rather dry and he doesn´t text as often as before. He write one day he still like me and he wanted to see me to clarify things….still we didn´t see each other as he didn´t suggest it.
Anyway, Sam, you did it again. You had me doing some serious introspection over the past few days thinking about that period in my life and what kind of “advice” I could give. And, well, I concluded that I have no advice to give, and that I wasn’t really a golddigger (I was labeled one after the fact by “friends” with double standards). I actually did not have a method I could share and nothing I did or what happened to me can really be replicated. I was not looking for a rich guy, it wasn’t even a goal. I didn’t go places looking for one hoping some would be there to meet, I didn’t know who was who when I went out, I didn’t dress or put on airs when around certain people. And, because I come from the land of golddiggers, I used to deliberately avoid and get grossed out by old rich dudes who would try to hit on me and put as much distance as possible between that “kind of girl” and me. Until, I finally did start dating rich guys, of which there were only two in my history, AND, they didn’t take care of me, they didn’t give me anything I couldn’t get even at that time on my own. Also, THEY found and pursued ME. And, gasp! I had a genuine connections with them!
It can be hard trying to wrap up a conversation, but the first step is being able to realize when the convo is fizzling out. If he’s starting to send one-word answers or is taking way too long to text back, then it’s probably time to call it quits. Make a graceful exit with a little bit more than just a. “see you later” or, “talk to you soon” text that still somehow leaves him wanting more. Try to conclude it with the possibility of making future plans.
I also wanted to mention that I think that in general, your article is good relationship advice period. Not just for women who want a rich guy, but for any woman who wants any guy. Most guys think the way you describe in your article! And most women do not think/act the way you describe in this article! So it’s good advice period. A good lesson to be learned form this article is that too many women approach men with the mindset “what can he do for me?” when women should try to think about what they bring to a relationship too.
“Getting out there” doesn’t have to mean singles clubs or a series of blind dates. Meet new people by taking up a hobby or signing up for class. You’re more likely to meet likeminded individuals if you’re doing what you love, plus the pressure’s off: even if you don’t meet Mr. Right there, you’re enjoying yourself and advancing a skill. (And if you do meet someone, you’ll immediately have something in common to chat about)
If the man uses his wealth to be arrogant and flashy, while treating women like disposable objects that they can buy off, this would just add to my mistrust in a man, and make me feel unstable. If I am required to be fashionably uncomfortable and walk in heels to attract a wealthy man, or fake like I care about solving world hunger and feeding Somalian children (which will never be solved, btw, as long as family planning is not valued) I would personally find it a sacrifice on my natural health and personal morals. So instead of a man having the effect that it naturally should on me, as a stable, protective, provider, money would have the opposite effect.
As for marrying a rich man, here is my experience. I dated a lot of wealthy and extremely rich men over the next 15 years and then realized I just did not want to compromise in any way. I like the idea of a compatible partner though. But there is no way I would marry a rich man without character or one who spent all the time on business. That is addiction or a preference, not a requirement to make money. I know enough wealthy and extremely rich men and women to know that the smart ones do not spend all their time on the phone or away. They take a lot of time to enjoy life. If they are into you and vice versa, they have plenty of time to pay attention on a long term basis.
Gr 7-10–Much to her feminist mother's disapproval, “born-again normal person” Nora Fulbright has dropped the “smart girl” act that kept her “larval” in middle school and is dedicating her high school career to increasing her “popularity quotient.” She has exchanged gymnastics for varsity cheerleading, shed her chess-playing past, and dropped down from AP classes. Then chess-loving, brainiac, super-hot Adam Hood moves to town. Nora immediately goes to work masterminding a series of swaps to get closer to him, beginning with an agreement to go on a date with creepy, unpopular Mitch in exchange for a printout of Adam's class schedule. Not surprisingly, the swaps backfire, and Nora realizes that she failed to operate under the three principles of chess–foresight, caution, and circumspection. She goes into damage-control mode and manages to make good on all of her botched swaps. Although the resolution borders on being unrealistic, Valentine's tale will appeal to teen girls. In the same vein as E. Lockhart's The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks (Hyperion, 2008), the message of embracing who you are is one that teens need to hear.–Nicole Knott, Watertown High School, CTα(c) Copyright 2013. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.