According to scientist, psychologist and author Todd B. Kashdan, PhD, “Love is about an expansion of the self whereby another person’s interests, values, social network, and finances become part of your life just as you share your resources with them. Love does not mean that you give up everything for another person. Rather, you possess sufficient trust to give them the keys to everything that you can access.”
And if he doesn’t? It means you missed something. You weren’t right for one another and he picked up on it. This doesn’t now mean you should carry on seeing him “just in case” or “try to make it work.” It means you sadly say farewell to this promising lead, and go out and start the whole process again until you find the guy who says yes. The guy who feels exactly the same as you do.
As a sophomore on the varsity cheer squad who has the attention of dumb-as-rocks (but hot) footballer Jake Londgren, Nora Fulbright has morphed socially from “larval state—practically a worm” into a fully formed butterfly. In order to up her PQ, or popularity quotient, brainy Nora switches out of her AP courses and joins the masses. But when Adam—cute, crazy smart, and gives Nora the good kind of shivers—moves to town, how can she get him to see that she is not just a ditzy cheerleader? And that she is not interested in Jake? In Valentine’s sassy debut, readers will groan as Nora messes everything up, and may grow frustrated with her choices (“For a smart girl you’ve had a pretty solid run of stupid”), but if they relate to her plight, they will find her funny, too. Grades 7-12. --Ann Kelley
When it comes to love, you probably have the same set of ideas in mind. Flowers, candle lit dinners, holding hands and planning your happily ever after with the man of your dreams. Well that’s all cute and charming, before you can share those experiences with a guy, you need to make him fall in love with you… which is exactly what I’m going to teach you today.

The best way to keep a conversation going and get to know someone better is by asking questions. Start off with the basic questions: what kind of music are you into? What’s your favorite movie? As the convo continues, try diving into some more personal questions: what’s the most embarrassing moment in your life? How long was your last relationship? Why did it end? Keep the questions rolling!


The funny thing about men is that telling them less about your life makes them long for you more. So as much as you might want to share the minutiae of your bitchy workplace or your take on the latest Grey's Anatomy plot twist, hold back. "The hard truth is that from his end, that information is overwhelming and boring," explains Douglas Weiss, PhD, author of The 7 Love Agreements. "Men don't have the capacity to endure great amounts of detail. That's one reason why they don't give you the play-by-play of their lives."

Be yourself. If you're not, then how else would you know if he likes you for who you are? If you are pretending to be someone you are not, you will feel uncomfortable every time you are around him and that is the last thing you would like to happen. If you are uncomfortable around him, it would probably be hard to talk to him and if you can't talk to him, it will be hard to keep a relationship.
When these types of thoughts overwhelm you, it's important to remember that this is a symptom of your depression and these irrational, pessimistic attitudes-known as cognitive distortions-aren't realistic. When you really examine them they don't hold up. But even so, they can be tough to give up. You can't break out of this pessimistic mind frame by telling yourself to "just think positive." Often, it's part of a lifelong pattern of thinking that's become so automatic you're not even completely aware of it. Rather, the trick is to identify the type of negative thoughts that are fueling your depression, and replace them with a more balanced way of thinking.

okay maybe u will find me somewhat ‘unique’ but let me spare u some advice. why do u have to limit your life to finding someone to be with forever? don’t get me wrong but isn’t it some sort of empowering to live on your own? happiness does not come a from a person. be kind towards others and have a great personality and character can also give one’s happiness. of course, the ultimate happiness come from God. when u have God and u feel His love what more do u need? I am perfectly happy and content just by loving God and live according to His will.

Let him “suffer”. Meet up with your friends tell him you are busy. Don’t bother to explain where you have been. Then he will start to wonder if you are getting bored of him or if you still like him or have somebody else. Play the game well. If he doesn’t say I love you then this guy is not worth it because he is not sure of his feelings. So why bother.
I see a partnership as 2 people making a go of some common goal. My father used the utensil analogy of couples who are a fork and knife, versus couples who are a pair of chopsticks. The differing expectations for yourself and for your SO means you need a fork/knife relationship. The job gets done, and each person has their role which is fixed by gender norms, or however you two decide.

How You Get A Guy To Like You


In the end, there seems to be beyond the statement ” I want to be spoiled because I deserve” a theme is shaping up for me the best interaction is to find the chararistic quality that attract you to one another and be delighted by that. It’s not so much the funds available but the world that can be bulit, sustained and nutured from the union providing a certain level of unlimited room to express, explore and support each others in inquiry about new ideas. With the understanding that there will be a bubble here or there. However, any kind of addiction(wine,drugs, cookies) is not attractive and should not be tolerated. Otherwise, and this is from experience, you will be embrrassred in public (and no, matter how much you try you will not fad into the woodwork).

I am a 25-year-old, college-educated, #workingwoman living in Los Angeles, and I have never had a boyfriend. “REALLY?!” is the response I usually receive. Yep, that’s right, World, during my 25 years on Earth, I have zip lined through the rain forests of Costa Rica, ran a half marathon in Central Park, and become a vegan, but I have not yet become a girlfriend.
I know a woman who went out with a man she met on OKCupid. The chemistry wasn’t there, so they decided to be friends. He invited her to a party he was hosting, and she brought her friends. Now they’re all friends, and the ladies often ask the gentleman for advice on reading men. That’s a bonus in my book, to have a male friend who can give you a different perspective on dating than your girlfriends!

Texts To Make Him Hard


Hi Eric.This guy started to text me and used to initiate the conversation every day. We used to have great conversation and we texted all the time. We used to call each other for hours while we were studying. He knows he makes me happy and he told me that I made him a better person. But recently, he told me that I am too good for him and I could find a better guy than him. He doesn’t initiate conversation with me anymore and even started to ignore my messages. What should I do to make him feel confident? and reply me..? What should i do to save the relationship?
That being said my husband was never until the last few years the primary breadwinner! Also, I can certainly say, w/ a great amount of thankfulness that he hated the horrific hours I worked! I hated his as well but I do believe the key is finding something (other than him referring to me as his “child bride” and his constant compliments that I’m his “arm candy”, I also find him devistatingly handsome!)
3. Make dating a priority. Janis Spindel, the self-described "cupid in a Chanel suit" and president of the New York-based Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking service, suggests that clients approach finding the right man as they would a job hunt. The key is to always be prepared because you never know when or where you'll meet someone. Wear clothes that make you feel attractive and plan ahead for interesting conversation. "You also need to change your routine," adds Spindel, who in the last 10 years has brought together more than 300 marriages and 400 monogamous couples. "Don't get your newspaper delivered. You might meet someone at the newsstand."
I have heard Matthew Hussey speak on the radio and I was looking forward to reading his book, bu I was dissapointed to learn that after every chapter I had to sign in to the websiteand become a paid member in order to look t th video that accompanied each chapter......I felt thi was more of a pay as you go long "help book" than anyhing else.......I was extremely dissapointed and expected more from the author.......
10. Treat his friends the way you treat your friends: smile politely, laugh at their jokes, and let your hatred for them slowly consume you from the inside out, like cancer. If you win over his former fraternity brothers, you’ll win his heart. And once you have his heart, you can keep it locked in the trunk of your car. So make plenty of snacks and, when in doubt, just pretend you’re a lamp.

The only way to know for sure it to talk with him about it. No need to spend time and energy trying to guess at what he means when he says something ambiguous. Find a good time to chat with him, tell him how you’ve been feeling, and ask him if he feels the same way. For example, “I have really enjoyed getting to know you over the past few months, and I am interested in pursuing a dating relationship with you. I thought you might feel the same way, but wasn’t sure. Are you interesting in going out to dinner sometime?

How To Attract A Man At Work


This one is pretty self explanatory so simply put, it just means don’t over do it. If you blow up your man’s phone with pointless messages, then he isn’t going to look forward to hearing from you. However, if you only send him well thought out, cleverly crafted messages, well those are the ones that are going to keep him hanging off your every word…. Or text rather. ;) 

I am the co-author of Dying of Embarrassment, Painfully Shy, and Nurturing the Shy Child. Dying of Embarrassment: Help for Social Anxiety & Phobia was found to be one of the most useful and scientifically grounded self-help books in a research study published in Professional Psychology, Research and Practice. I’ve also been featured in the award-winning PBS documentary, Afraid of People. My husband, Greg, and I also co-authored Illuminating the Heart: Steps Toward a More Spiritual Marriage.
First off I want to say thanks for your honest and refreshing post. It's rare and a wonderful thing for a guy to admit the challenges men face and try to act opposite of the gender stereotypes. I'm so sorry about your breakup and hope you find happiness and love. Please stay warm and loving and expressive. The right woman will appreciate it. I personally am the type who loves emotional expression in men.

What To Tell A Guy You Like


* If only I had someone to share my money with. There will come a time in every rich man’s life when he’ll realize the pointlessness of making more money if there’s nobody to spend it on or with. He may accumulate so much that he won’t mind being a sugar daddy to someone who doesn’t fit any of his criteria for the ideal woman so long as she enjoys his company. He would rather be with someone than be alone.
Some people are clearly better than others at this. I have two sets of friends — one couple is married with children, and another couple will soon be married — who have met through me. I don't try to set anyone up, I just enjoy going out with all of my friends. So, I work hard to merge my college friends with my work friends with my high school friends. 

Make Him Love Me


Men will never need to worry about this in the same way women will, even if you say you will happily be a stay-at-home dad. Well, fine, but what if the woman wants to be a stay-at-home mum? Then guess what? The MAN needs to go out and earn the money… for women, it’s easier to find a man with money first, then to get a poor man and somehow make him make money.
I dated a rich man for 5 years. It was easier some ways but harder in others. He was so into his work and money that even when he was home he was on his phone and not paying much attention to me. We were in love….kinda I guess. I think we both just really wanted someone to love…or just not be alone anyway. But he payed for everything. And he bought me cars and expensive clothes and jewelry and anything I wanted and we ate at the Best restaurants. It changed me a little. I was wearing only name brands and acted like I was so cool and I was never someone that ever thought I was better than everyone. It was just being in that lifestyle I felt like I could have anything and if I couldn’t I would yell or get someone fired or just be a bitch to get it. But it was what I learned from him and when I realized how I was changing like that I didn’t like it so I actually tried changing him to be more like me and he tried and he’s a total city guy and I’m a country girl so very different people. Anyway I realized that money doesn’t solve everything. He would have done anything for money and I would have done anything for love.

Texts To Turn Him On


Awesome. Totally relate! And true! Gosh and text break ups are uber lame don’t even start haha. Sarcasm a no-no. Agreed. But if it’s like a good guy friend that you always joke with I don’t see a problem! And in the paragraph description, I’m guilty of double and triple texting.. Sigh. If people weren’t such SLOW responders it wudnt be a problem! Lol
I refuse to admit my own feelings till I know he's completely done with her. My biggest fear is what to do once he is done, if that happens. I've been in plenty of relationships, but I wouldn't know how to be in one with him because he's the longest, closest, male friendship I've ever had and at the same time, and we're deeply attracted to each other.
Kelsey Dykstra Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has been blogging for over four years and writing her whole life. Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. She enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.
Show your independence. Show him that you are mentally and physically independent. You don’t need him to do everything for you (although he should feel that he can help you sometimes) and that you have a mind of your own. It adds to his vision of you as a fully developed and interesting person with standards. He wants a partner, not a blow-up doll.

How To Make A Guy Into You


If you’re wondering how to find a boyfriend, sweetie, get in line! There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but who wants to date a fish? We want boyfriends, and we want good ones, now! I’ve done loads of research, and put myself through a grueling dating boot-camp, so I can help, at least a little. Here are 8 ways to find a boyfriend. Are you ready?
#50. Let him know that he fulfills you NOW – Men worry about whether or not they will be able to support you, keep you happy, sustain interest etc… which is why they avoid marriage and avoid the commitment topic. If you want him to marry you, let him know that everything he is doing RIGHT NOW, is exactly what is necessary to sustain you in the future, so that he sees he is truly fulfilling and pleasing you…and stops worrying about being unable to, because he’d see he already is ABLE.
You made it to the finish line! Congratulations. By now you should have at least one guy on your radar who’s interested. All you have to do is commit. Now, I know what you’re thinking: “It’s only been a few days. How can I just commit to a boyfriend so quickly?” Breathe. We’re not asking you to put a ring on it or walk down the aisle (yet). Remember, the goal here was just to get a boyfriend­­­. But he’s not your boyfriend until there is some level of mutual commitment. So woman up and make it happen, girl! Tell him how you feel. You won’t know if he’s The One until you give it a shot. So pick your guy, grab a love fern, and ride off into the sunset.

I just had to leave a comment on this issue… I was seeing a guy who was doing the exact same thing: texting all the time, showering me with attention, etc. I noticed after a while, we texted less and less, and pretty soon I was texting him and he would take hours, sometimes a full day to respond! I realized after doing some research on this site that I was way too readily available for him. I wasn’t making him chase me. I wasn’t making him sweat it out wondering what I’m doing and why i’m not resounding. I decided that I needed to back off the neediness factor 100%. It was really hard not texting him and wondering what I could have done wrong, and wishing I could go back in time and redo it all. But I stayed strong and kept myself busy. After exactly one week of silence, he texted me! He apologized and said he has been so busy… he asked if I’m doing OK… he responded to my texts within minutes–not hours or days! I suddenly felt a HUGE shift in power in our relationship. I was making him chase me… and he liked it! I’m telling you ladies… this really worked. I got my second chance to “redo” everything. And now I always keep my cool. I will be the first to talk tohim once in a while, but i usually wait for him to come to me. I thought I was being rude at first by doing this, but men are weird. He is actually drawn to me more the less I act like I want him. Try it. It will suck at first, but if your guy is anything like mine, your silence will act like a magnet and draw him right back to you!
It sounds like you may have selected the wrong partner. If she isn’t willing to adjust her spending you will have to let her go. Was she with you before you had money? Has she ever had to earn money on her own? If not it maybe very hard for her to adjust her lifestyle. She may just try to find another man to meet your spending requirements. I would advise men to not reveal their level of wealth when meeting a woman to see how she responds to you when she doesn’t know you have money.
i really liked your page ..im a lady who's been dating guys whom have been taking me for granted but I have this friend of mine who's a guy I often talk with bout everything he understands me well I like him very much n adore him cause he's different ..he feels hurt each time I breaks up with another guy m actually falling for him but he is in a long term relationship ...sometimes he tels m all his problem and even wishes I was the one he was dating but the unfortunate part is he's says he's commited to his lady ...donno wat to do

Ever notice how much it bugs you when someone does not get back to your text right away? You need to know an answer to a question but they leave you hanging! Often the guy is oblivious to your need for a text but… sometimes he isn’t. Silence is also a form a communication. But you don’t get it! and you send a 2nd text back or a 3rd or maybe you just get on the phone and scream “I am needy!!!! Give me the freakin answer!!!!”
Whether you’re texting or not, you never want to appear needy. This is a HUGE turn off for 99% of the male population and is a sure fire way to get him running in the opposite direction. So how can you not appear needy? Don’t respond seconds after he texts you. Give it a few minutes. Don’t say things like, “Oh my gosh I’ve been waiting hours for your text message” or “Thank god you texted me I missed you”. Instead, try saying something flirty and fun like “Well hello there 😉 glad to see a text from you”.
Good news is, this bit is the easiest by far – just combine the three points above. Be out and about. See a guy. Assess him. Listen to him. Analyse him. Look at him. Let him look at you. Read his expression. At this point, you should be fluent in “smizing” and be able to gather whether he thinks you’re hot stuff or not. What happens next is really up to you, but the most important thing is either to be confident enough to go over and say hi, or to make it incredibly obvious with your body language that you would like him to come to you. Weirdly, and against expectation, often the former is the less embarrassing, because the latter can lead to some disastrously cringe head-beckoning gestures.
I just had to leave a comment on this issue… I was seeing a guy who was doing the exact same thing: texting all the time, showering me with attention, etc. I noticed after a while, we texted less and less, and pretty soon I was texting him and he would take hours, sometimes a full day to respond! I realized after doing some research on this site that I was way too readily available for him. I wasn’t making him chase me. I wasn’t making him sweat it out wondering what I’m doing and why i’m not resounding. I decided that I needed to back off the neediness factor 100%. It was really hard not texting him and wondering what I could have done wrong, and wishing I could go back in time and redo it all. But I stayed strong and kept myself busy. After exactly one week of silence, he texted me! He apologized and said he has been so busy… he asked if I’m doing OK… he responded to my texts within minutes–not hours or days! I suddenly felt a HUGE shift in power in our relationship. I was making him chase me… and he liked it! I’m telling you ladies… this really worked. I got my second chance to “redo” everything. And now I always keep my cool. I will be the first to talk tohim once in a while, but i usually wait for him to come to me. I thought I was being rude at first by doing this, but men are weird. He is actually drawn to me more the less I act like I want him. Try it. It will suck at first, but if your guy is anything like mine, your silence will act like a magnet and draw him right back to you!
This works especially well when you’re feeling a bit like nobody will want to go out with you ever. Get on the train and look every single man in the eye. Let them adapt from looking at you like you’re a body, and watch the transition when they realise you’re a woman, a person. You’ll see them warm to you in all sorts of different ways. Some men might smile back in a fatherly way, while some might send a cheeky wink your way. Some might look touched, or vulnerable. And a few will look at you with genuine attraction and intrigue. So, what does this do? It makes you feel interesting and attractive and undaunted by new interactions. It makes you feel fearless. And it’s a useful way of learning how to read expressions and see if someone fancies you or not. Stick with it, you’re well on your way to mastering how to get a boyfriend!
It takes time to lock down a handsome multi-millionaire fella. You’ve got to take my advice to heart and proactively be in environments that accommodate such potential interactions. If you haven’t found someone wealthy, don’t worry. Millions of couples are perfectly happy without being wealthy. Life with someone you care about is infinitely better than coming home to an empty bed. May all of you find someone!

How To Make Him Want You And Only You


I don’t believe any relationship should be prohibiting in anyway for any of the participants, the point is a guy shouldn’t have to text you as a chore..I.e. If he would prefer to be doing something else then he shouldn’t be prohibited from doing that. If he stops texting then he is either playing it cool or would simply rather being doing something else. If a man used to text all the time and showed love and affection then suddenly stops it is probably one of those two reasons. I think my boyfriend of two years has started preferring to do something else, that is fine. It is your mission to find out why your boyfriend has stopped texting. Once you know you can make an informed decision on whether or not you want to carry on with them. Perhaps you like the chase or perhaps you don’t like to feel second best, you decide.
I like your article. Thank you. I feel I do most of this already and by that I mean keep things light and positive. But one thing I will never get used to is the ghosting thing. This article says don’t call a guy cruel and call his character into question. But it is cruel. That’s exactly what it is. To have someone that you liked just ignore you and act like you don’t matter.

How To Get A Guy To Love You Again

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