Thanks for this insightful post... Yup, sure feels like a double or even triple bind. I'm supposed to be emotionally available, but also strong and brave and self reliant and have all the answers and be able to deal with everything fearlessly...and heaven help me if I express doubt, fear, anxiety, shame, what if I say "I feel from being orphaned in childhood I am unlovable and unloved.." Wow..that will get you stared at as a basket case, a damaged person...
Make sure he is not in a relationship. If he already has a girlfriend or boyfriend, it's best to be just friends. Put yourself in his shoes: Would you want another guy (or girl) to meddle in your relationship? Think about it; you would probably answer "no" to this question. Backing off is helpful to everyone: him, to yourself, and the person he’s dating. Plus, you'll find another guy eventually, so keep searching.
Well there’s this guy that I really like but he already has a girlfriend and I already told him I liked him and he said he didn’t like me as a gf but he said that I was kind and all but. I still want to go out with him and all, is there anyway he still likes me or he probly might go out with me because I’m clueless and broken hearted that he said that I need help and tips/guides
Practice the Golden Rule. If you want him to do something, you should be equally willing to do it yourself. You want him to ask you out or take you out or do whatever else for you? You should be equally willing, and don't wait for or expect him to do it first. Good men respect a person who applies the same rules to themself that they would apply to a man.
#4 Wait for a reply. This used to kill me. I’d get so nervous when the guy didn’t reply that I fired off another text message just in case. I would bombard the guy with three or four texts just because my insecurity took over. Do NOT send him a series of texts just because he didn’t reply in two minutes. Wait for the reply. No matter how long it takes. [Read: 6 basic rules of double texting to play it cool and casual]
Getting To Know A Guy Over Text
This was by far the most common advice you’ll find: don’t just text someone “hey.” In fact, if you browse some online dating profiles you’ll probably find people sharing the same advice. While writing the book Modern Romance, comedian Aziz Ansari and Dr. Eric Klinenberg, Professor of Sociology at New York University, organized hundreds of focus groups to decipher the modern dating landscape. When they asked the focus groups about their personal texts, they found that participants unanimously agreed that the “hey” text is a bad idea.
Despite what you may think or your past experience — you may never know just how much a man really does want to please you if he is able. In fact, the problems show up when he no longer thinks he can please you. Men are very simple creatures. They demonstrate their value by solving problems and fixing things (and occasionally they may make the mistake of trying to fix you).
I agree that does make rich men seem shallow and is probably a generalization. I just watched Queen of Versailles this week, so I am a bit biased at the moment. However, I also think the title of this post makes women seem very shallow. I know there are lots who look for a rich husband to make their dreams come true, but it is kind of a slap in the face to those of us who are trying to be entrepreneurs and earn our own way.
You can’t make someone be your boyfriend, silly! This isn’t Harry Potter! This is where you have to be strong enough to see when something isn’t working. If you’re five dates in and you feel completely comfortable with the guy, the sex has been amazing, and you’ve sussed out that you share the same values – politely inform him that you would like to make this official because you think he’s bloody amazing. He’ll probably (hopefully!) reciprocate.