well i like this guy but some days hes saying stuff like i love you and being nice and playful and those days where he is just quiet. his friend who is a girl helps me to find more about him and he only has ever had 1 girlfriend and he hasn't dated anyone since they broke up which was last year. The girl who is talking to him for me (btw she is only mentioning me in conversations to see what he says she is not asking him out for me..thats weak.) she said that one of her other friends had a crush on him and he said he isn't into her and is not wanting to be in a relationship and this was a while ago not far. But its so hard to tell because she also said that when this guy talks to girls, but not like that she says that to the girl it feels like he likes her to but hes only being friendly. i'm losing hope and i have no idea if we can ever be a thing. i think he is only being friendly but thinking back of all the things he said to me i think he is kind of interested i guess.
Sam-you hit the nail on the head again. After divorce at 35, took 7 years to find wife no 2. It’s virtually impossible to find a woman who fits requirements. Virtually all wanted kids and for me to look after them or had kids and wanted me to look after them. Finally found producer partner, not parasite partner. Im now the weak link on mortgage application. This eliminates the opportunistic behavior from women married to rich men and gives both people in the marriage complete freedom. If we got divorced, neither of our lifestyles would change. She doesnt need a penny from me and I dont need a penny from her.
If the man uses his wealth to be arrogant and flashy, while treating women like disposable objects that they can buy off, this would just add to my mistrust in a man, and make me feel unstable. If I am required to be fashionably uncomfortable and walk in heels to attract a wealthy man, or fake like I care about solving world hunger and feeding Somalian children (which will never be solved, btw, as long as family planning is not valued) I would personally find it a sacrifice on my natural health and personal morals. So instead of a man having the effect that it naturally should on me, as a stable, protective, provider, money would have the opposite effect.
I moved to LA after two years in New York, where there are a plethora of guys my age. Unfortunately, though I did go on dates, nothing stuck. Now, I’ve moved across the country. There could be a guy, even a friend of a friend (the perfect set-up!), currently living in New York who would be happy to be my boyfriend, but I’ll never know. Frequently, on the street in New York, I’d walk by a guy I could picture myself dating, and I’d want to blurt out, “What bar will you be at on Saturday, and why weren’t you also at The Jane last Saturday night like I was?!” Which brings me to:
It is true that time is the most valuable thing. I’ve worked straight through the end of my college years plus another 8 to get where I am. I find myself working non stop and feeling out of place if I take more than a day off or sit around for a few hours just because I feel tired. Pretty much most women I’ve dated spend most of the relationship complaining that I work to much. They just don’t understand that I got where I am by making good use of my time and I do not want to get lazy and possibly lose everything that I built up.
I don’t care about getting a “rich” man– just a good man who can appreciate me for me. Yet it is still incredibly difficult, and I’m not sure why. Not to toot my own horn, but I do everything that is on your “women do this” list. Most of the guys I’ve dated have been in their mid thirties (I’m 26) and honestly usually know more about personal finance and money management than they do. I’m successful, own my own house, don’t depend on anyone to pay my bills, work hard, have big dreams, and know what it’s like to struggle (have lived through some childhood trauma). I never take things for granted because I learned very young that life can end in a second.
Not all are women are “Gold Diggers” lol. I divorced and was raising my five children, working 3 jobs, preparing two meals/daily and running a business, so that we would have much extra and I would not accept child support for necessities/desires. I then met my second husband after a year of courting, he asked me to marry him and allow him to take care of me and my children. We married and even though I knew that I did not have to continue working, to maintain my lifestyle, I kept working and running my business. He begged me to at least let go of two jobs, telling me that I worked too much and I should hire a housekeeper because he was tired of watching me take care of everyone and not have adequate time for myself. He told me that I was the first woman that loved him for him. He passed away in 2012. He was a fabulous man, so classy, smart, strong, honest, loving, fun, etc. I should have cloned him lol. My good friend told me that I was in trouble if something were to happen to him, she was right…No one has compared to him since. It is not just about money either.
It sounds like you may have selected the wrong partner. If she isn’t willing to adjust her spending you will have to let her go. Was she with you before you had money? Has she ever had to earn money on her own? If not it maybe very hard for her to adjust her lifestyle. She may just try to find another man to meet your spending requirements. I would advise men to not reveal their level of wealth when meeting a woman to see how she responds to you when she doesn’t know you have money.
The main reason that I don’t go after openly rich guys is because I believe that men who use their money in a flashy way are womanizers that attract their female-equivalents of whores and gold-diggers. I’m sorry for this negative stereotype of the dynamics of men/women, and I realize not all flashy men are bad, just like not every hooker or gold-digger is a bad person either, but I believe these extreme traits usually come from the less desirable characteristics of the opposite sex.
* Show a tremendous interest in your personal finances. Nothing is more attractive than a woman who has a strong command of her finances. The more a woman cares about her own financial well-being, the less the man has to worry about having to care for everything financial-related, even though he easily could. I recommend signing up for Personal Capital, a free financial software online that lets you track your cash flow, analyzes your investments for excessive fees, calculators your retirement financials, and tracks your net worth. I’m positive a rich guy will be super impressed with your financial savviness if you show him the app on your phone next time you meet up. Being financially wise is sexy!
How To Get A Nice Guy To Like You
I waited until I’ve read everyone’s comments and points of view and I both agree and disagree with the two. On the one hand here’s a woman whose fully equipped to take of herself. So why spoil and or give her the privileged life when she’s only here for some seasons and a reason. I completely understand due to the fact I experienced it personally. I took care of two guys in my life who used me and left me broke, homeless, and with a background to boot. Then comes to find out they get married to someone who provides stability since I wouldn’t. However, me being a woman myself, what woman don’t dream of being a princess out of some fairytale except those women who’ve accumulated their own, and vice versa.
Men are all about the game of cat and mouse. They love to chase females and they love it when a woman leaves them on the edge of their seat wanting more. And for that reason, you need to be mysterious- even through text messages. If he asks you what you’re doing, don’t just tell him you’re bored alone at home. Maybe you could take an extra couple minutes to text him back and say, “Oh, sorry it’s taking me so long to text back right now! My hands are kind of full at the moment. I’ll text you in about an hour”. That makes him wonder- what is this girl up to?