I do agree that men are caught between a rock & a hard place when it comes to emotions. So I think we need to educate women on their expectations of men alongside self reliance. My ex husband became an alcoholic rather than tell me how he was feeling & as a result our marriage ended. But my new partner & I do talk about our feelings, even though he struggles doing this. But I'm a trained counsellor & I'm completely happy in my own skin too + I'm thrilled to have found such a wonderful man!
I met this amazing sweet man a few weeks ago in Florida at a social club/hotel (I’m from NY, he lives in Amsterdam & NY)… We realized that we had everything in common and could not stop hanging out together for the rest of the night. We made out, I went back to my room afterward. He called me in the morning (4 hours later) asked me to go running before he had to leave for the airport – I said no, he called again and came by to say goodbye and we made out. During the time we hung out he said that he loved that we both have 2 kids and that we could take our time getting to know each other. He texts me as he was boarding his plane and said he couldn’t wait to see me in Ny. 1 week later he calls and texts. We’ve been exchanging sexy messages… He told me he wanted to spend the entire day with me and wake up to me… So things seemed to be exciting. I wrote him 2 semi long mssgs a few days ago telling him I’m excited to spend time together, and reflecting on the time we spent together the first night and he doesn’t respond. Both mssgs sent during his work day, my off time. He’s a CEO and I’m a VP… He thought we were so compatible. Why hasn’t he responded to my last mssgs? Too long to respond to bc he’s too busy or losing interest? His last mssg to me before my 2 mssgs was – “I will not disappoint you”. (Think its sex related bc his texts are pretty flirty/sexy). Am I his NY girl? We’re both 40. He’s divorced and I’m single after a 2 year committed relationship. I just want to know so I can understand whether I should move on or keep him as an option. I know that my next move is to not reach out again. But should I forget him? What is happening?
A guy in my church was madly interested in me, but the church members in my congregation fiercely oppose to him dating me. To them he should choose another who are their friend. He no longer in my congregation, but, he is still interested. The church members lied about me, spread a bunch of lies. He’s good friend with them, but i don’t communicate with him. I called and texted him once, he hasn’t replied back. I occasionally see him. When he sees me i can tell that his world lights up. I believe i love this guy too very much. Everywhere i go i carry him in my spirit. Can i tell him how i feel about him? I want to move on. What do you suggest???
"The reason a guy gets hooked on one woman is not because she is *just sexy*, or *just playful*, or *just certain*, or *just feminine*, or *just bursting with integrity*, but because she possesses a unique combination of traits: the girl who is warm, has integrity, and can charm his family, then rips his clothes off in the bedroom and is a sexual goddess; the girl who is playful with his friends, can debate politics like a pro, but knows how to enjoy a lazy Sunday watching movies and eating pizza; the girl who is independent, kicks ass out in the world, but is feminine and loving with her man. Women like this cause an alarm to go off inside a guy's head and heart. Keep her, he thinks. This one's amazing!"
Flirting Via Text
Let’ s face it, that first phone call is going to be a little awkward. I’ll show you how to prevent ‘conversation stalling” and awkward silences by using the “Multiple Threads” concept. By talking in a way that creates mild suspense, you’ll create energy, rapport and the feeling that you have a lot to talk about. For example, you can rephrase boring questions into interesting comments. Boring: “How many brothers and sisters do you have?” Interesting: “I bet you’ re the youngest in your family.” You’ ll also learn an amazing body language trick that projects warmth, confidence and sexiness over the phone. It’s all on P. 47-70.
The explanations of male thinking is also not "boys will be boys" trash that insists sexist and misogynistic behaviors are simply "biological" for men & have to be tolerated by women. Instead of making excuses, the author manages to be honest & fair in describing common male mindsets & how & why certain negative attitudes/behaviors are triggered (much as stereotypical female negative behaviors can be triggered by crappy moves on a guys' part). Since a relationship is a dynamic, it's only fair to adjust what you can control - yourself. So you learn very subtle methods to hone your social & dating skill to basically COMMUNICATE in a way that men in general will grasp correctly.
Sometimes we search too far to get a boyfriend, we don’t realize if the closest person could be someone who can be the best boyfriend for us. I started the relationship with my spouse from a solid friendship. At that time I didn’t realize if he’s the one. I was too busy to find a boyfriend at other places. Till one day I realize if he is the best one, and thanks God he has the same feeling with me 🙂
Women like to know that they can attract men and personally, I like dressing very classy and I do enjoy most the high end of life. I still think it is important for me to work part time despite having a man in my life who has lots of money. That is not what attracts me the most- it is more the caring, loving and affectionate side – of course the financial situation helps however I am fully aware of the dangers that money can bring.
You should also mention that successful men really value their time. Therefore, if he makes time to do something with a girl, then she should not take advantage of that or take it for granted. Be on time and don’t make plans only to change them at the last minute. Also don’t be mad if he doesn’t want to talk on the phone for hours talking about nothing – successful men aren’t trying to find time to fill in the gaps of boredom, they are more focused on making the finite amount of time they have in this world matter the most.
While the world of romantic texting isn’t a large field of study (yet), there is some research that suggests you shouldn’t answer every text immediately upon receiving it. For Modern Romance, Ansari and Dr. Klinenberg found there was a general cultural consensus that you shouldn’t ever text back right away. According to their focus groups, texting back immediately can potentially make you seem overeager or desperate. It may seem a little strange to intentionally blow off a text, but it’s possible it will make you more desirable—at least in the short term. All that being said, Marin recommends you don’t overthink it too much:
I’m a nurse also and haven’t slept with, or pursued a doctor. That’s ridiculous. Now, my construction husband believes – since I.ve been diagnosed with breast cancer and shad bilateral mastectomies – that he can go on discreet affair dating sites and frequent strip clubs. So are all construction guys douche bags? HaHa- probably. And he just lost a respectable, respectful, loyal and intelligent NURSE!
Does your man ever show affection to you? Does he say he loves you, or that you’re beautiful, or that he likes spending time with you, or anything even vaguely complimentary? If so, as soon as he does, reward him immediately. Figure out what he likes and provide it on the spot whenever he is nice to you. A nice cool beer, a biscuit, some sort of meat sandwich, a new PS4 game, whatever your budget and time allows for, make sure that whenever your fella behaves in a way that suggests he likes you, make him want to do it again and again by inducing pleasure every time it happens.
My guy went from texting every day to going MIA for a couple of days after I told him how I felt about him. I realized in reading this article that when I told him I liked him, it was for him and not for me…so while I would have liked a reply I didn’t need it to feel secure about his feelings. Ok, maybe I was a tiny bit worried about whether he would reply because he could have gone into the freak out phase. You were right, the sexy text did the trick. It took 3 minutes for him to get back to me after 2 days of radio silence. It felt good to give him something nice to look at during his long work day :)
Never lay everything out on the table if you want him to fall in love with you. Men love mysterious girls, and they will try their hardest to crack your code. In the beginning, keep your conversations casual, and don't go too deep into your life story, fears, dreams, and goals. Think of dating as one of your favorite murder mystery books. The suspense killed you as you flipped each page, right? Do the same when it comes to getting to know your guy. Slowly pull back the layers to keep him interested and craving for more!
2. Make him a snack after sex. Men love sex and men love snacks! That’s right, immediately after sex, dash to the kitchen. You read that right, goddess! Once he’s pulled out, combat roll out of bed and haul ass to snackburg. It has to be a gourmet snack — bacon wrapped scallops with cream sauce and roasted Brussels sprouts with a side of chicken fingers will do in a pinch.