I ended up here because I’m trying to “fix” my dating life, and I’m really not stuck up but a thought crossed my mind: rich men and beautiful women are in a similar category, in that both easily attract the wrong types of partners. I fall in the beautiful woman category (no, I’m not conceited but it just is what it is) and I have the hardest time dating, so while sitting at my desk feeling a bit deflated I thought, “You know, gold diggers probably try to snatch rich men all the time, while jerks try to get pretty women into bed all the time”.
According to scientist, psychologist and author Todd B. Kashdan, PhD, “Love is about an expansion of the self whereby another person’s interests, values, social network, and finances become part of your life just as you share your resources with them. Love does not mean that you give up everything for another person. Rather, you possess sufficient trust to give them the keys to everything that you can access.”
Ben, 27, wants a more creative conversation starter. “If you are actively pursuing someone, you better come up with something better than ‘hey’ or you will lose their interest,” he cautions. But don’t underestimate the guy’s ability to play hard to get: “However, if I know someone is interested in me, and maybe I’m playing hard to get, just saying ‘hey’ after a lull in conversation can let them know that I’m still interested, but still give me the control.”
* Be where rich men are. We tend to end up with people who roam our environment. Pilots date stewardesses, cooks date waitresses, bartenders date everything that moves, doctors date nurses, and Facebook employees date Twitter nerds. The majority of men over 30 who work in banking, management consulting, high tech, big law, and venture capital are on the path to top tier wealth if they keep on saving and working for just one more decade. Attend charity events, volunteer programs, or opening night galas. Rich men love to network while supporting a cause. Lay on a beach at a five-star Hawaiian resort. All Hawaiian beaches are public. Take up traditionally expensive sports like golf and less so tennis which have private clubs. Go to alumni mixers with a friend who went to a prestigious university. There are at least 700,000 men in America (out of 1.4 million $380,000+ tax returns) out there after all.
I met this amazing sweet man a few weeks ago in Florida at a social club/hotel (I’m from NY, he lives in Amsterdam & NY)… We realized that we had everything in common and could not stop hanging out together for the rest of the night. We made out, I went back to my room afterward. He called me in the morning (4 hours later) asked me to go running before he had to leave for the airport – I said no, he called again and came by to say goodbye and we made out. During the time we hung out he said that he loved that we both have 2 kids and that we could take our time getting to know each other. He texts me as he was boarding his plane and said he couldn’t wait to see me in Ny. 1 week later he calls and texts. We’ve been exchanging sexy messages… He told me he wanted to spend the entire day with me and wake up to me… So things seemed to be exciting. I wrote him 2 semi long mssgs a few days ago telling him I’m excited to spend time together, and reflecting on the time we spent together the first night and he doesn’t respond. Both mssgs sent during his work day, my off time. He’s a CEO and I’m a VP… He thought we were so compatible. Why hasn’t he responded to my last mssgs? Too long to respond to bc he’s too busy or losing interest? His last mssg to me before my 2 mssgs was – “I will not disappoint you”. (Think its sex related bc his texts are pretty flirty/sexy). Am I his NY girl? We’re both 40. He’s divorced and I’m single after a 2 year committed relationship. I just want to know so I can understand whether I should move on or keep him as an option. I know that my next move is to not reach out again. But should I forget him? What is happening?
It takes time to lock down a handsome multi-millionaire fella. You’ve got to take my advice to heart and proactively be in environments that accommodate such potential interactions. If you haven’t found someone wealthy, don’t worry. Millions of couples are perfectly happy without being wealthy. Life with someone you care about is infinitely better than coming home to an empty bed. May all of you find someone!
First, let’s look at the possible reasons a man will text back and some of the common reasons he won’t. Afterward, I am going to explain some mindset shifts that will make him more likely to text back, give your relationship the best chance of succeeding and then finally give you specific tips and tricks that will increase the chance of him texting you back.
Similar to mirroring, walking at the pace of your mate is another way to show him you're in sync. Guys tend to walk faster than women (damn you, high heels!) so you'll definitely have to keep up the pace to stay in tune with his stride! Over time, you will notice that your guy's pace will actually slow down so that you're able to keep up with him without completely killing your feet. This is a sign that he's really starting to fall for you!
When you tell him you like him, don't forget to be positive. He may be totally into you and he may not. The best way to know if he likes you is not by what he says but what he does. If he has been consistent and persistent in getting close to you, then he likes you. If he ignores you, doesn't call when he says he will, or isn't physically or verbally affectionate, then he's not that into you, even if he's generally polite and thinks you are a nice person. It's possible to like someone as a person but not have the desire to be with them.
After her death, I had many divorcees looking to ‘help me out’. I did need help as I have 3 younger kids. One woman who was a friend of my wife and is very attractive was over all the time. Well, we did end up dating. It ended after a few months. She was 49, very attractive, twice divorced, and broke. I mean broke like couldn’t pay her rent broke. I discovered from other women who know her that her showing up at my door after my wife’s death was not an accident. She began borrowing money from me. Larger and larger amounts. She talked marriage (say what? My wife, your friend, just died six months ago) She said she wanted a $10K diamond ring if we got engaged. She wanted to buy a very large, expensive house together. She liked borrowing my Audi.
I’m going to show you how to text things he’s never heard from another woman, how to have him ask you out with only a couple of texts, and how to get that distant guy to pay attention to you. I’m going to show you what to do and what to avoid, how to create and maintain attraction, how to tease effectively, how to craft witty responses, how to increase engagement and how to entertain and challenge men.
Eric, thank you for your comments. I would like to say straight away that I believe that you do have women’s interests at heart when you give them advice. And I understand that this is a guy’s perspective, which is referred to by the name of your site. However, as a woman, there are things in this article that I am very uncomfortable with. For example, whilst describing yourself as a hard working man, whose time is of value, you do not seem to give the same credit to women, and choose to focus on their ability to send you their naked pictures. In my opinion, this is stereotyping. Many women also work hard and long hours. So what is your point here? Why working hard should stop a person from being respectful? It is sufficient to say once that you are busy and will respond later. However, this is not even the issue that women raise here. They are not saying that they are frustrated because men do not respond to texts that they send them to work. The women here are saying that some men do not respond for hours, days, weekends. Women here are saying that the relationship is on men’s terms and that they feel exhausted of doing all the work, they feel ignored, unappreciated and hurt. I think the message should be loud and clear to men (and women) – leaving the other person ‘hanging’, being selfish, inconsiderate and disrespectful to others is not ok and should not be put up with.
There was a clear divide here. Two out of three of the 20 – 23 year olds said there is nothing appealing about someone being “hard to get.” David, 20, clarifies, “It makes them seem conceited and uninterested.” Nate, 30, weighs in with the younger crowd on this one, stating that “nothing” is appealing about a girl who is “hard to get.” He advocates the “straight to the point” approach: “I am always one who is aggressive and goes after what I want. You know pretty quickly if someone is into you or if you are into them. Whether it’s via text, at a bar or Steak ‘n Shake, “hard to get” is a thing of the past. I have noticed over past 3-4 years even females have been more aggressive in pursuit.”
Some of you are sounding like a bunch of gold digging bitches, if I was a rich man I would run for the hills. All I have to say is just be honest about your intention, you never know he might agree to an allowance to keep you around IF HE/SHE with the resources choose. Remember they will have the upper hand. BULLSHIT WALKS and MONEY TALKS, so if you ain’t got your own and you get used, just remember its not nice to use people, and the tables can turn they can use you too. How about findinging someone you respect and if they happen to be rich great. Money is only good for material things that you will have nice things, but you don’t have to have a nice man, he could be a major asshole because he didn’t get rich being a choir boy even though he might choose to be good to you. MONEY is not everything its a lot it don’t cover. Date RICH men at your own risk, women are throwing sex at them, so deal with that too, I just hopes he respects you and is faithful in this world of AIDS and Herpes. How about getting your SHIT, nothing is sexier than a woman who has her own and holds her own. NEVER play hard to get like you don’t want him, he will see through it. Be your natural self RICH men didn’t get rich being stupid they KNOW A PHONY just like you do a mile away. Good lucK but don’t count on it.
What To Do To Make A Guy Like You
First, with regards to stereotyping… honestly, I think you are creating an issue where there is none. If I say I’m hardworking, that doesn’t take away from the other person’s attributes. Me saying that I’m “X” doesn’t make the other person “not X”. And saying that I enjoy anything about a woman (e.g. her sending sexy pictures to me) doesn’t reduce her in any way either.
I moved to LA after two years in New York, where there are a plethora of guys my age. Unfortunately, though I did go on dates, nothing stuck. Now, I’ve moved across the country. There could be a guy, even a friend of a friend (the perfect set-up!), currently living in New York who would be happy to be my boyfriend, but I’ll never know. Frequently, on the street in New York, I’d walk by a guy I could picture myself dating, and I’d want to blurt out, “What bar will you be at on Saturday, and why weren’t you also at The Jane last Saturday night like I was?!” Which brings me to:
I have just seen this post. Well, I am currently dating a rich man for about a year and half now. The point is I was never looking for him, we have just met in the most strange way ever… However, I want to warn you. Dating a rich guy is very stressful. He is up all the time, his phone is always ringing, the skype is all the time on, the plain is always waiting for him and you sometimes just want everything to stop and to have him for yourself. I sometimes just want he is normal guy I can have normal life with. Anyway, yes, he always has his baggage packed and he is always ready to go. We are all the time breaking up and making-up. He proposed me 6 months ago but I am still not ready for it. I am thinking what is my life going to be like? Do I want to be just a rich man’s wife. The fact is I am 12 years younger, I am also very successful in what I am doing and I don’t want to give up of it. Believe me, it is really hard to date a rich man. Yes, you go to the best places, get expensive gifts and ecct. But, what is most precious to the rich men? The time? They can’t give you the time you as a woman deserve because they are constantly working, traveling and talking on the phone… I have the most beautiful, handsome and interesting guy but I stuggle dealing the lack of his time everyday.
Via the process of operant conditioning, the crafty balancing of reward and punishment in response to certain behaviours, he will soon learn to be faithful and committed to you. It’s important to balance this with deterring of unsuitable behaviours too. If he wants to spend time with his friends and not you, if he wants to get an early night rather than stay up all night talking, make sure he regrets it considerably. Call the police and tell them he’s got a bomb, or release a wild leopard into his room as he tries to sleep. He won’t find early nights so relaxing after that.