Anyway, Sam, you did it again. You had me doing some serious introspection over the past few days thinking about that period in my life and what kind of “advice” I could give. And, well, I concluded that I have no advice to give, and that I wasn’t really a golddigger (I was labeled one after the fact by “friends” with double standards). I actually did not have a method I could share and nothing I did or what happened to me can really be replicated. I was not looking for a rich guy, it wasn’t even a goal. I didn’t go places looking for one hoping some would be there to meet, I didn’t know who was who when I went out, I didn’t dress or put on airs when around certain people. And, because I come from the land of golddiggers, I used to deliberately avoid and get grossed out by old rich dudes who would try to hit on me and put as much distance as possible between that “kind of girl” and me. Until, I finally did start dating rich guys, of which there were only two in my history, AND, they didn’t take care of me, they didn’t give me anything I couldn’t get even at that time on my own. Also, THEY found and pursued ME. And, gasp! I had a genuine connections with them!
* Be your own person. Thoroughly pursue your dreams and do not give up until you get there. It’s important not to compromise your standards for a rich man. If you’ve always wanted to make it on Broadway, don’t you dare leave New York City to be closer to a man who lives in Chicago. If your dream job demands that you travel for three months a year, go for it and don’t look back. The more you focus on what you want, the more the rich man will want you. He has the financial resources to move, travel, or buy a piede de terre where you live if he wants to be with you so don’t worry about not pursuing your goals.
Drop the games. Nobody likes a partner who plays "head games". This is deceptive, and will hurt anybody who trusts you. Be real, don't play games, and good men will respect you and may even pursue you. Playing head games will only make good men run away. Remember the communication thing? That is especially true here. If you like a guy, don't push him away and act like you don't like him. Tell him. Yes, there are some men who do like the thrill of the chase, but all good men genuinely want to respect you and your wishes, and will leave you alone if you insist on it. Remember, men communicate directly; if you act like you don't want him, he'll think you don't want him.

Are you a woman? Do you have a male partner? Is this male partner not so much an individual human being, with all the nuances and complexity that would imply, but more of a self-propelled bag of crude stereotypes with a permanent erection? And do you, as a woman, want to forgo any hope of a career or life of your own in order to spend all your time wooing this creature, rather than doing the merciful thing and help end its undoubtedly horrific existence?


Another trick to make someone like you over text is to stroke their ego. Let them know they’ve made a positive impact on you and that they’re still on your mind. An example of this would be: “I just saw the cutest little squirrel in the park gathering nuts and it made me think of you!” A text like this is going to make the other person feel special — and making someone feel good is a surefire way to get them to like you.

If he wants a relationship, he’ll make an effort. If he’s not willing to do the work or put in the time, it means that you’re just not important to him. Do you really want to go after a guy who doesn’t see you as a priority in his life? If you’re doing all the work and he never even meets you in the middle, you’re just going to end up exhausted and unsatisfied. Remember — guys who have a real interest know how to make an effort.
I'm in a bind with my partner who will react with verbal abuse after being triggered by Ne saying something that may have triggered A sense of shame, embarrassment or what ever feeling he felt. My words aren't intentionally hurtful and it rarely happens but when it does I reflect back on what i said and I could see why he over reacted. I apologise but the verbal abuse continues and then he leaves to sleep elsewhere. His behaviour isn't acceptable to a healthy and nurturing relationship and I really do try hard to not trigger him with what i say but surely I deserve the right to say what's on my mind in my own home without fearing abuse? What can I do to support him so he feels safe to express his true feelings instead of rage?
well i like this guy but some days hes saying stuff like i love you and being nice and playful and those days where he is just quiet. his friend who is a girl helps me to find more about him and he only has ever had 1 girlfriend and he hasn't dated anyone since they broke up which was last year. The girl who is talking to him for me (btw she is only mentioning me in conversations to see what he says she is not asking him out for me..thats weak.) she said that one of her other friends had a crush on him and he said he isn't into her and is not wanting to be in a relationship and this was a while ago not far. But its so hard to tell because she also said that when this guy talks to girls, but not like that she says that to the girl it feels like he likes her to but hes only being friendly. i'm losing hope and i have no idea if we can ever be a thing. i think he is only being friendly but thinking back of all the things he said to me i think he is kind of interested i guess.
While making plans, be as direct as possible. During their focus groups, Ansari and Dr. Klinenberg also noticed a texting trend they dubbed the “secretary problem,” where potential couples would spend so much time trying to “pencil each other in” they would burn out and the spark would fizzle before the first meetup. We asked Vanessa Marin, licensed marriage and family therapist and Lifehacker contributor, how to avoid the “secretary problem,” and she said it’s all about being specific:
If he’s not pursuing you, it’s time to stop pursuing him. Guys who are interested text back. Guys who aren’t don’t. Don’t bother trying to change his mind. You need to have the confidence to realize that if a guy doesn’t see how great you are, it’s his loss. Let go of him and move on to a guy who will be excited to have you in his life. You can’t fight for a guy who’s not fighting for you. At the end of the day, you just have to accept that no message is a message — that’s his way of telling you he’s just not interested.
Surely, it's okay no be insecure and feel the need to have a good reputation. Valentine was able to successfully pull off a good development for Nora. This is nothing but a cliche story, if you ask me. Nora is in desperate need to get everything she wants. She finds her self in so many 'swaps' because of trying to achieve her a goal which is to get as close as possible to Adam. 

With great difficulty. I was and still am trying to find answers, researching, reading the mentality behind it. I mean could he be so insecure to think that I could not love him for him? And I did not appreciate not having my back the most….. I still really love him, I don’t care about dinners and trips I get those anyway on my own in my line of work.
When I justify an action by me being busy, it usually means, sorry dude I consider that the things that I am doing at work right to be of a higher priority and interest than you are. This was me being brutally honest. Now it doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t care for that person intimately on a superficial level…it just means that since they are not a long term investment for me or possibly because I am not at that stage of commitment…
We know you're naturally a nice person and everyone loves you, but you need for your guy to see this trait in order to fall in love with you. We're not asking you to be a saint, or the second coming of Mother Teresa; but anytime you can show him how kind you are, do it! It can be as simple as volunteering for a charity function, or paying for the person in line behind you at Starbucks. If he knows that you are a giving person who goes out of your way for complete strangers, he will instantly fall in love!
Turns out Bryce got a flesh-eating bacteria in his sinuses, which he dramatically told me could have killed him. While I dearly wish I had a picture of nearly consumed Bryce to put on this post, I more dearly want you to understand the message. USUALLY his lack of response means absolutely nothing and you giving attention to it creates a mess that never needed to be. It would be far  better for you to be the one that is “too busy” to text the guy back. Keep the power in your court as long as you can.
@Meghan, I have a similar mindset as you. I’d rather avoid the drama that comes with dating and just build something myself. Every date is time away from the goals that I have and I much rather be spending time on things that matter to me rather than trying to “convince” someone to continue to date me. If it doesn’t work out, then perhaps it is meant to be that I don’t have it. I can always find something new to work on if a door is really truly closed. There are plenty of new opportunities that come out each and every year-so it’s just a matter of finding the right one.
Its not the end of the world. Ive seen amazing reconstruction surgeries that are beautiful-working from nothing, and turning out to look better than most womens natural breasts. My advice to you is to remember that your a survivor! And that life goes on. You can and will, do and be, complete and better…im not just saying that. Its a reality if u want it. let go of any heartache and take what you deserve for your life, be happy. Congrats to you! Your so strong!

Texts To Keep A Guy Interested


I broke up with my Ex fiance a few months back, in what was a whirlwind of an altercation, and was destroyed, I won’t even bother lying about it. Night after night, I racked my brain for a way to get her back. She wasn’t returning calls, emails or texts and our mutual friends said she wanted nothing to do with me. I was in rough shape until i found Lord Azeez email [email protected] com and he guaranteed me in 3days and surely she called me on the phone and and apologized
When I justify an action by me being busy, it usually means, sorry dude I consider that the things that I am doing at work right to be of a higher priority and interest than you are. This was me being brutally honest. Now it doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t care for that person intimately on a superficial level…it just means that since they are not a long term investment for me or possibly because I am not at that stage of commitment… 

It sounds like you may have selected the wrong partner. If she isn’t willing to adjust her spending you will have to let her go. Was she with you before you had money? Has she ever had to earn money on her own? If not it maybe very hard for her to adjust her lifestyle. She may just try to find another man to meet your spending requirements. I would advise men to not reveal their level of wealth when meeting a woman to see how she responds to you when she doesn’t know you have money.
You’ve heard that opposites attract? Well, forget about that. Many studies have revealed that people are likely to be attracted to individuals who resemble them. Whether due to social, cultural, developmental or some deeper psychological cause, your man will likely be more attracted to you if you remind him of himself. Cut your hair, start wearing similar clothes, if cosmetic surgery is an option then go for that.

Ben, 27, wants a more creative conversation starter. “If you are actively pursuing someone, you better come up with something better than ‘hey’ or you will lose their interest,” he cautions. But don’t underestimate the guy’s ability to play hard to get: “However, if I know someone is interested in me, and maybe I’m playing hard to get, just saying ‘hey’ after a lull in conversation can let them know that I’m still interested, but still give me the control.”
Some people are clearly better than others at this. I have two sets of friends — one couple is married with children, and another couple will soon be married — who have met through me. I don't try to set anyone up, I just enjoy going out with all of my friends. So, I work hard to merge my college friends with my work friends with my high school friends.
If there’s ever a way of knowing how to make a man fall in love with you and be a flirty tease at the same time, this is it. Men can’t resist a lingering woman’s touch. The next time you’re with him, be it clasping palms, hugging each other goodbye, or just crossing the street, let your touch linger softly for a moment longer than necessary. Your touch would be incredibly exciting for the man you like, and you’ll spark a romantic chemistry in no time. [Read: How to flirt with a guy] 

I moved to LA after two years in New York, where there are a plethora of guys my age. Unfortunately, though I did go on dates, nothing stuck. Now, I’ve moved across the country. There could be a guy, even a friend of a friend (the perfect set-up!), currently living in New York who would be happy to be my boyfriend, but I’ll never know. Frequently, on the street in New York, I’d walk by a guy I could picture myself dating, and I’d want to blurt out, “What bar will you be at on Saturday, and why weren’t you also at The Jane last Saturday night like I was?!” Which brings me to:
Sometimes we search too far to get a boyfriend, we don’t realize if the closest person could be someone who can be the best boyfriend for us. I started the relationship with my spouse from a solid friendship. At that time I didn’t realize if he’s the one. I was too busy to find a boyfriend at other places. Till one day I realize if he is the best one, and thanks God he has the same feeling with me 🙂
Then, suddenly, you’re single, and you’ve totally forgotten how not to be in this frame of mind. This isn’t how to get a boyfriend. The usual cycle is for desperation to kick-start the “Definitely Notice Me Right Now Mode” which gently fades into the more attractive “You Can Notice Me If You Want Mode”. This transition can take weeks, months, even years. But there are three neat little tricks to skip the desperate phase, and gracefully slip into charming nonchalance:
It’s been seen that romantic eye contact can actually make two people fall in love with each other in no time. The next time you’re having a conversation with him, stare deeply into his eyes as he talks to you. You can smile or flirt, but every time your eyes meet, let the eye contact linger even if both of you aren’t exchanging words. It makes the guy feel warm and fuzzy, and would definitely stir his heart. 

Get A Guy To Chase You


Like when I'm in my regular clothes like he stares at me alot and and I kind of think he likes me but when I'm in my school uniform he doesn't pay any attention to me and he doesn't bother to talk to me or get to know me but then when I asked him out he was like I don't know yet but I feel like if you really did like me he would come and talk to me to know me so we can get to know each other he talks more to the other girls and he talks to me it's like having to get to know each other if we can talk and then I'm going as soon as I'm starting the conversation and it's like he doesn't real want to talk to me in the longest conversation we've ever had is it was about like five minutes and then it just got really crazy and his first girlfriend knew that I liked it and then I tried to be friends with his girlfriend to get closer to him but that didn't seem to work but I don't want to really be a man stealer I want him to want me and I don't want to be his third where I want to be his number one so now I'm like crossed up and I don't even know what to do anymore I just stop talking to him in trying to get closer to him and he just left me alone and I left him alone and it was like that's that but I still really like him then I don't know what to do.
Thanks for this insightful post... Yup, sure feels like a double or even triple bind. I'm supposed to be emotionally available, but also strong and brave and self reliant and have all the answers and be able to deal with everything fearlessly...and heaven help me if I express doubt, fear, anxiety, shame, what if I say "I feel from being orphaned in childhood I am unlovable and unloved.." Wow..that will get you stared at as a basket case, a damaged person...

If you and your guy have mutual friends, your chances of having him fall in love with you are greater. Subconsciously, we are all wired to trust those who others can vouch for. This is why so many people meet the loves of their lives through mutual friends. If you have a couple friends who can put in a good word for you, your guy will be more willing to give love a chance!
The pronunciation \ˈgit\ has been noted as a feature of some British and American dialects since the 16th century. In the phonetic spelling of his own speech Benjamin Franklin records git. However, since at least 1687 some grammarians and teachers have disapproved this pronunciation. It nonetheless remains in widespread and unpredictable use in many dialects, often, but not exclusively, when get is a passive auxiliary (as in get married) or an imperative (as in get up!).
Don’t date outside of your own intellectual sphere ! (Every friend and family member will wonder why your playing with CHILDREN AT EVERY EVENT at the “kiddie table” w/ play dough if they are speaking quantum mechanics with the other adults at the “grown up table!”… Otherwise if your not able to at least inject any intillectual thoughts on a subject zip it because not only will his friends & their spouses who can keep up and know exactly when to speak & when to simply listen SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU BUT HE WILL TOO! (God willing for him sooner than later!)

Emphasize your similarities. Part of the reason why people feel attracted to each other is due to a sense of connection. If you have things in common with him, emphasize those things in your conversations. For example, if you both love a certain type of music or band, talk to him about it. Just make sure that you do not overemphasize or lie about things you have in common. Doing so may cause him to see you as desperate or dishonest.

In other words, avoid being a vamp. A vamp is someone who sucks the energy right out of you. If he texts you saying, “Hey, how are you doing?” Do not text him back and say, “I’m so bored. What are you doing?” That’s like, people who do that are looking for someone else to entertain them, they’re looking for someone else to add value to their life. It’s like hey, let me plug into your life and suck the life right out of you. These people become a drain and they are no fun to be around. Instead, you want to be the person who adds value to his life. You add light, and love, and laughter to his life. So if he sends you a text saying, “What are you doing?” Even if you are bored at work, send him a funny picture back that says I am kind of feeling like this. Send him a funny gif that roots him on and cheers him on, that adds value to his life.
Today's matchmakers work hard for their money—and they demand a lot of it. Prices for these pros run steep, and only a select few singles are affluent enough to afford the service. But you get what you pay for, and matchmakers are selective about their clientele, finding them via referrals as well as by scouring cocktail parties, political fundraising events and charity balls. Then comes an extensive one-on-one interview and background check. "I'm more than a matchmaker. I become a friend to my clients," says New York-based matchmaker Barbra Brooks. "I'm available to them at all times. After each arranged date, I interview both people for feedback, which I pass on—diplomatically, of course." Over the past 16 years, this personalized approach has resulted in "hundreds of marriages and at least 40 babies," adds Brooks.
Perhaps these "practical" dating strategies feel like extra help to some of us. We don't want to acknowledge that we need outside assistance to meet someone. I'm not sure what to think of practical methods. It could be really helpful, but I can't seem to shake that "extra math help" feeling. Besides, if my dating skills are like my math skills, no amount of extra help could get me afloat.
As for the very emotional and negative comments – maybe its because people don’t want to believe that its so easy to get a rich husband/boyfriend. That the core was ‘self-value’. That money isn’t a demon. That it offers choices and experiences and satisfaction from life. This article makes us question ourselves and then when we don’t like what we realise….then we lash out.

How To Attract A Man And Keep Him


I am a guy that is 100% on your side, I don’t pull any punches not because I want to be right, but because I want you to get the guy! This is a win/win because creating and maintaining this kind of attraction is exactly what he wants as well. This is why I wrote the book below, to give you what you want as fast as possible! This is not an advertisement for someone else’s material but a book I personally wrote for YOU, to get the GUY!

How To Get A Boy To Like U


Hi, ok so I was at our normal sports bar for football and they happen to have another boyncer there helping. Totally not my type but he caught my eye. We made eye contact all day but never talked. As me and my friends were walking out he came all the way out to the parking not in front of my friends to ask for my number. I was completly shocked! I normally do not meet or talk to guys when out and wasnt really looking fir any relationship. But i was like wow to go through all that ill give him a shot. We texted small talk that night at he disappearred….. The next week saw him again, hesaid he was glad i came in….he dropped that night and lost my #. I also changed mine.
I went on a trip with a guy. I know he’s busy from witnessing first hand the demand of his job. After the trip I texted him hi one day and he responded headed to dinner with a client I hope all is well. The next week I tested him with I know you’re stressed and pressured feel better. He responded the next day early in the morning with traveling sorry my text isn’t working great outside the us. I hope all is well.
When I write something, I write the kind of thing I would want someone to tell my sister if she was hurting and needed help with this question. So that means I’m going to write what I believe would help someone I love — even if it means saying things that might not fit within what’s politically correct to say. If it meant helping make sure I get a loved one out of pain, you can be damned sure I’m going to say it.
I was in a grief fog so I was pretty blind to all this at the time. I look back now and realize, wow, what was I thinking. I got out before major damage. I later found out the trail of financial destruction she had bestowed upon another man a few years prior. She still owes me a lot of money. I keep getting ‘check’s in the mail’ when I reach out to her. However, if need be, my attorney says I have an airtight case to sue her for the money. I am really trying to avoid this as I did know her for 8 years as my wife’s friend but eventually I will need to take action.

Hi Eric, thank you for the wonderful advice! A few weeks ago I was driving myself crazy thinking I had done something wrong. I’m playing the waiting game right now and every time I feel like texting or calling, I read your articles again to drum it into my brain to stop! I’ll update when he comes around, but in the mean time, I’m keeping busy with my own stuff!

Make fun of yourself. A surefire way to get someone to smile over text is to make fun of yourself in a tongue-in-cheek kind of way. By making fun of yourself, you get them laughing and show that it’s okay for them to let their guard down. They’ll feel more comfortable with you, which will allow them to become more attracted to you. Examples: “I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.” or “Take my advice — I’m not using it!”

How To Get A Guy To Want You Sexually


Um. I think this article is very interesting. I obviously for one couldn’t help clicking and reading it. But I do disagree with many of these points. In that I feel like the expectations that money can attract quality women is off. I think money, like any other advantage in life (eg. if you were born extra good looking or extra charming or extra intelligent) is an attractive quality and it certainly helps your chances, but if you have really absurdly high standards for your partner you will end up alone.
While growing up, my father always told me that as a lady, I needed to mingle with those with money. He told me to look at the back ground of the family and look at the family values, he said, the lady and her actions is what is behind the man driven. . he told me to cling to God of the Christians and build a relationship with this God. He told me to spot ambition and introduce myself with that individual. As a fresh out of high school gal, who never got along with anyone, I longed for friendship. I longed to be married, I longed to have a family of my own.
Gr 7-10–Much to her feminist mother's disapproval, “born-again normal person” Nora Fulbright has dropped the “smart girl” act that kept her “larval” in middle school and is dedicating her high school career to increasing her “popularity quotient.” She has exchanged gymnastics for varsity cheerleading, shed her chess-playing past, and dropped down from AP classes. Then chess-loving, brainiac, super-hot Adam Hood moves to town. Nora immediately goes to work masterminding a series of swaps to get closer to him, beginning with an agreement to go on a date with creepy, unpopular Mitch in exchange for a printout of Adam's class schedule. Not surprisingly, the swaps backfire, and Nora realizes that she failed to operate under the three principles of chess–foresight, caution, and circumspection. She goes into damage-control mode and manages to make good on all of her botched swaps. Although the resolution borders on being unrealistic, Valentine's tale will appeal to teen girls. In the same vein as E. Lockhart's The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks (Hyperion, 2008), the message of embracing who you are is one that teens need to hear.–Nicole Knott, Watertown High School, CTα(c) Copyright 2013. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
×