The explanations of male thinking is also not "boys will be boys" trash that insists sexist and misogynistic behaviors are simply "biological" for men & have to be tolerated by women. Instead of making excuses, the author manages to be honest & fair in describing common male mindsets & how & why certain negative attitudes/behaviors are triggered (much as stereotypical female negative behaviors can be triggered by crappy moves on a guys' part). Since a relationship is a dynamic, it's only fair to adjust what you can control - yourself. So you learn very subtle methods to hone your social & dating skill to basically COMMUNICATE in a way that men in general will grasp correctly.
Don’t text “Wanna do something this weekend?” Instead, say “Hey, I’d love to take you out for dinner Wednesday night.” If you can make a callback reference to a previous interaction—like a restaurant or type of food you both talked about—it’s even better. Say something like “Hey, how about dinner at that restaurant we talked about on Wednesday night? Around 8-ish?” As Chelsea Clishem at Patti Knows advises, texting should be the prelude to a conversation, not the conversation itself.
How To Attract Females
The smartest way to find a good boyfriend is to start with yourself. Get emotionally, spiritually, and physically healthy by looking inward (and upward!) first. You don’t need a man, but your life may be happier with a partner. You don’t have to be in a relationship to be filled with purpose and joy, but your experiences will be deeper and richer if you have someone to share them with.
He approched my friends at time i wasnt there to ask about me. He then came to see me that night we did end up hooking up that night. Then again distant with the text. He does work full time very busy job so i wasnt concerned, he would go days with no contact. We hung out a two other times kinda same thing not much contact. He did tell me going things with court, buying house and work. Then we hung out and was telling ne he wanted to help me financially and have a baby settle down… We talk lil over that week. We make plans for dinner and movie night….at home. He texts on his way, then his cousin breaks down… He says he will be here soon as he can, no response the night or nexr day. I was really upset, figured i just wasnt priority and i was done not going to contact….. He calls 4th day my phone broke i am sorry i just got new phone. Mske plans he comes over next day. I said he talked to his cousin and cuz we never said excludive he didnt just want to show up. If ever happens again just come over no one here, dont leave me hanging and wondering ok,i promise…
I have a little bit of a dilemma… I have met this guy during one of my trips last year. He was fun to be around and exchanged numbers before I left. We have been messaging in WhatsApp for the last 2,5 months on regular basis… exchanging photographs, talking about daily life etc. last Sunday I had a rough road trip with my friends and I was a bit depressed as I had to send my car on a freight truck to the mechanic. Anyways I wrote him few lines explaining what happened to me. I saw he read the text but has not replied yet. At the moment my anxiety and insecurities are getting the worst out of me. Feeling a bit depressed as he has not acknowledged my bad day or sent me text saying hope I am okay. In the past he did when I hurt my shoulder. He is an archeologist and does private culture and history tours and at times lecturing.
Sam-you hit the nail on the head again. After divorce at 35, took 7 years to find wife no 2. It’s virtually impossible to find a woman who fits requirements. Virtually all wanted kids and for me to look after them or had kids and wanted me to look after them. Finally found producer partner, not parasite partner. Im now the weak link on mortgage application. This eliminates the opportunistic behavior from women married to rich men and gives both people in the marriage complete freedom. If we got divorced, neither of our lifestyles would change. She doesnt need a penny from me and I dont need a penny from her.
The way to a anyone's heart is through their stomach. It's such a cliché, but also true. "This is a sure-fire way to make anyone feel loved," says Spurr. "It's about being taken care of, partly, but it's also because being hungry for food is such a basic primal thing. If someone brings you a freshly prepared platter of delights is it any wonder we love them more?" According to an informal poll over at Men's Health, a steak sandwich or baguette with fried onion or mushroom toppings would be most appreciated... along with an ice cold beer, of course.
I love your answer JustMe. I am a female and went on from being a nurse to getting my doctorate in nursing- DNP. Being any type of nurse certainly does not constitute being affiliated with being a hooker. It sounds like the original female surgeon poster is lonely and in pain from being hurt in her own relationships. She is clearly lashing out in a demeaning manner. I hope she finds what she is looking for…and as for a surgeon, I’m sure she knows she made a very ignorant, rude and generalized statement stemming from her own experiences.
Lastly, my 7 fig earning boss told me he never got the appeal of a woman who could cook. Food comes from stores. Who cares? “I wanted a woman who could and would go out and earn 6 figures. Cuz that’s what I’m doing. And I don’t have time to cook.” – 30 yrs later still together, going strong, just bought their 3rd personal home in the carribean and 2nd investment resort property. Two beautiful sons who they love to death, and a life most would kill for.
* Be a lower high maintenance woman. High maintenance women generally have a bad wrap. They take two hours to get ready, love to take pictures of themselves, aren’t grateful and have never met a mirror they don’t like. The flip side is that they generally look good. A rich man loves to have a beautiful woman on his arm. He feels proud to call her his girl as onlookers check them out. The “level of maintenance” is highly subjective. If a beautiful woman can turn it down a notch based on his perception, she’ll be much more attractive. Simple things like saying “thank you,” leaving the house in comfortably simple clothes, and offering to pay once in a while go a long way.
Thanks for this insightful post... Yup, sure feels like a double or even triple bind. I'm supposed to be emotionally available, but also strong and brave and self reliant and have all the answers and be able to deal with everything fearlessly...and heaven help me if I express doubt, fear, anxiety, shame, what if I say "I feel from being orphaned in childhood I am unlovable and unloved.." Wow..that will get you stared at as a basket case, a damaged person...
Consider all the possible outcomes of dating your flatmate. If your dating relationship doesn’t work out, do you think you both could still continue being flatmates? Would living together be too much of a strain on a new dating relationship? If the age difference has you worried, consider how much age will truly impact your dating. Also consider how compatible you are together, your temperament, values, interests, and priorities. If these all seem to be a close match, then age shouldn’t matter so much.
Yale psychologist, John Bargh, has dedicated hours to the art of priming - a memory effect that can make your guy instantly fall in love! Through his studies, Bargh concluded attraction is linked to temperatures. Participants were instructed to hold hot and cold beverages while judging a group of people. Those who were holding warm beverages judged the people as having warm personalities, while those who were holding cold beverages judged the people as having harsh and cold personalities. To make priming work to your advantage, skip out on that frozen yogurt date, and have your guy take you out for a warm coffee instead.
My Advice: Go out of the environment you would typically find yourself in, strip yourself of everything that shows you are financially secure, i don’t mean look poor, but have a natural and modest look. Go for charity walks, Go to places where you’ll meet people doing things for a positive cause, mix up, take interest and enjoy the activities and just be you. Hopefully the right man will come along.
Texting A Boy You Like
Some rich guys have this fear complex that all they have will soon be gone if they don’t ring-fence their wealth. Maybe he grew up extremely poor and has fears of going back. Maybe he’s heard too many stories of swindle. Or maybe he’s secretly looking for someone who is wealthier. It is tough to say. Sometimes, the more you make the stingier you become.
If the man uses his wealth to be arrogant and flashy, while treating women like disposable objects that they can buy off, this would just add to my mistrust in a man, and make me feel unstable. If I am required to be fashionably uncomfortable and walk in heels to attract a wealthy man, or fake like I care about solving world hunger and feeding Somalian children (which will never be solved, btw, as long as family planning is not valued) I would personally find it a sacrifice on my natural health and personal morals. So instead of a man having the effect that it naturally should on me, as a stable, protective, provider, money would have the opposite effect.
Tip #2: The Crew of Two. If you're on a mission to meet guys, stick to one wing woman. Adam says, "Guys are terrified to approach big groups of girls," and we can understand that. Additionally, while hanging with your guy friends is fun, you might want to leave them at home for a ladies' night once in a while. Men will avoid approaching you if you're with a guy, since "it's a man's worst nightmare to approach a girl and learn that it's her boyfriend standing right next to her."
To each her own. You can be a power player and prove to yourself, the world or to whomever all you want, but you cannot tell other women what they “should” do with there own lives. Your living situation is not the desired norm. Not everyone see’s the human population as two massive armies in oppostion (men versus women) but rather as unequal masses that function better as counter weights for each-other, just as you have found your own counter weight (closeted hubby or long haired wife). As long as men and women are (mostly) different, we can never be truly equal. Not a good or bad thing, thats just how it is.
Flirting through texts doesn’t have to be some big puzzle. The best way to keep a conversation going is by actually having things to talk about. Ask him simple questions that will make him want to talk. Boys are just like us – they love talking about themselves. It gives you a chance to know him and breaks the ice by basically forcing him to text you back. Giving him open-ended questions keeps the convo flowing, and he’ll enjoy answering them.
A guy in my church was madly interested in me, but the church members in my congregation fiercely oppose to him dating me. To them he should choose another who are their friend. He no longer in my congregation, but, he is still interested. The church members lied about me, spread a bunch of lies. He’s good friend with them, but i don’t communicate with him. I called and texted him once, he hasn’t replied back. I occasionally see him. When he sees me i can tell that his world lights up. I believe i love this guy too very much. Everywhere i go i carry him in my spirit. Can i tell him how i feel about him? I want to move on. What do you suggest???
Ladies, if you think there is a magic formula to give you better chances of a man falling in love with you, you’re absolutely right! There are certainly things you can do on your part to give you better odds at having that hottie fall madly, deeply in love with you. Here are some tips you can implement into your life to help your preferred man go gah-gah for you.
What Do You Text A Guy
If only humanity can bypass all the surface stuff and tap into the tender, unselfish and unconditional care for one another, it will be better. But, not in a shack or on a mat on the floor. Its just a condition people generally don’t strive for, in any century. And for centuries, mind you, income earned by women lagged behind men due to the structure of society, so now there’s still this issue.
Girls are ALWAYS asking me what it means when he does not text back. Well it simply means that he is in control of the conversation whether he knows it or not. Just recently I sent a few texts to a friend and finally a phone call since I got no response back. I was a bit concerned that my buddy was upset with me so I stopped by his house. (granted this is a guy friend and multiple texting, calling is allowed) Standing in the front door was a grotesque elephant man like version of Bryce. His face was swollen like a boxer with a nose that looked more like it belonged on an alcoholic, punch drunk, elephant seal.
Show him what makes you special. Letting a guy see what makes you such a catch is another great way to increase his affection for you. It will intrigue him and make him want to get to know you even better. For example, if you are skilled at playing an instrument, look for an opportunity to play in front of him. Or, if you are an excellent baker, whip up some cookies and share some with him.
Try to make him his best self. Everybody wants to be with someone who makes them a better person. It makes us feel good about ourselves and reassures us that we can be good people if we try. Make this guy the best version of himself by encouraging him to do the things he loves and giving him the space to do those things. However, don't push too hard. If he tells you dot back off, listen.
Via the process of operant conditioning, the crafty balancing of reward and punishment in response to certain behaviours, he will soon learn to be faithful and committed to you. It’s important to balance this with deterring of unsuitable behaviours too. If he wants to spend time with his friends and not you, if he wants to get an early night rather than stay up all night talking, make sure he regrets it considerably. Call the police and tell them he’s got a bomb, or release a wild leopard into his room as he tries to sleep. He won’t find early nights so relaxing after that.