Thanks for this insightful post... Yup, sure feels like a double or even triple bind. I'm supposed to be emotionally available, but also strong and brave and self reliant and have all the answers and be able to deal with everything fearlessly...and heaven help me if I express doubt, fear, anxiety, shame, what if I say "I feel from being orphaned in childhood I am unlovable and unloved.." Wow..that will get you stared at as a basket case, a damaged person...
If it’s a power imbalanced relationship where youth/beauty/desperation meets rich/successful/less attractive/not charming/etc they want more. They don’t just want the attention of a pretty girl, they want the status that comes from an illusion of choice. Even if it’s an almost straight transaction the girl that speaks well seems like she could have chosen someone else to “take care” of her. It’s a greater challenge.

Be approachable. Don’t close yourself off. Try to set aside time when he knows you aren’t too busy to hang out with him, and let him know that he is welcome to hang out with you. Smile and make eye contact. Try not to seem unsociable or angry unless you actually are; it may make it seem like you don’t want to interact with him, and can be intimidating.


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1.Continue to learn (formally or through travel and simply teaching ones self). I chose more informal (while I did take courses at the local Community College I enjoyed emensly they were taken for a reason to learn such as business law etc. I learned how to better Manage WIRK & Personal Aspects of my life and not get sued over a silly emotion like anger also I was armed with the knowledge to better protect myself civilly and legally and how to protect the company’s I worked for! I continue to tune in my knowledge annually and look for changes to the law! SO, UNDER THE TUTILAGE IF AN ADORING JUDGE, I learned how to best protect my own finances and my future. At 2/ w/so much on the line Being Fired was not an option! So simply winning the war and not simply a battle in my personal life & my career. CHECK! Do continue to educate yourself. I enjoy reading legal briefs! As simply rediculous as it sounds, I love it! ,read what makes you happy! Travel will enlighten you so go to Cartagena Colombia like we did for a couple of weeks! You’ll be shocked at what a totally different culture can teach you!

This one may seem like a no-brainer, but science has proven that smiling increases your attractiveness to the opposite sex. But make sure it's a genuine smile. You don't want to come across as fake. Whether he's paying you a compliment or telling you a funny story, flash him those pearly whites to appear more attractive and to nudge him down the path of falling in love!


Now this man, he will get unreal pressure to, quite simply, “Unload the idiot w/lipstick”. Sorry but that’s you! So remember to date those that your physically attracted to, have your own money, always look amazing and don’t date a rocket scientist if you didn’t pass one math class in High School! Date those who challenge you not totally stump you!
3. Email him links about his favorite TV show, which is the second season of “True Detective.” He loves that shows because it’s gritty and it’s what adults watch and he’s a fucking-a adult. Don’t just send him some random thinkpiece from a lame website like Vulture or Salon or The New York Times. Send him good links to smart blog posts that he can read on his chill Galaxy Note. If you loved him, you could go on a date with someone who works at HBO and ask him if Vince Vaughn really is that talented. That’s a really good question.
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