Hi my case is a bit different. This guy with whom i had a veery long time affair (age difference of 15 year, he being 25 and me 40, so we couldn´t be gf and bf) used to text me every day and quite often as he lived far away (other city 7 hours away) from where i live. He moved now only 40 min away and said he was afraid of us becoming too close and he also realized he wanted a girlfriend as he thinks he is missing something in life by not having a real relationship. So we kind of “split” and obviously his texts are rather dry and he doesn´t text as often as before. He write one day he still like me and he wanted to see me to clarify things….still we didn´t see each other as he didn´t suggest it.
#29. MAINTAIN his interest – Marriage is a LONG-term relationship, which means that you will consciously have to make efforts to keep his interest. You won’t be able to keep his interest if he knows EVERYTHING about you, and nothing changes. This is why it’s important to learn new things, new skills, and to create a life outside the relationship so that you have things to keep and spark his interest.
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8. Present a challenge. "Let the guy know you like him, but don't take his initial interest as a signal to latch on to him right away," Kelleher suggests. She points out that "three dates do not a relationship make." We're not talking The Rules here—don't hesitate to return his call in a timely fashion. But don't build your social life around him (for example, keep your Friday night theater subscription with your friend Beth) and don't press him to talk about his "feelings." Do make it clear that while he's a welcome addition to your life, he is not the whole enchilada. This is all subject to change after you have been dating awhile and the relationship has become more serious.
Men can seem terrifying when they’re strangers, which your future boyfriend probably is at this stage. A way to iron out this insecurity is to really look at them. Rather than having an instantaneous reaction of “thrust” or “throw up”, assess their personality and their physical form. What is he reading on the tube? What is he saying on the phone to his mum in the café? Do it with strangers, colleagues, friends of friends. You’ll find you warm to men that you instantly dismissed just by focusing on a few details, and you’ll also be surprised to be turned-off by some of the gorgeous specimens too. This does three things: it normalises men, so that you don’t feel nervous around them. It also gives you hope – you will fall in love again. And it gives you a bit of an inkling of what kind of guy you might want to date.
Eric, thank you for your comments. I would like to say straight away that I believe that you do have women’s interests at heart when you give them advice. And I understand that this is a guy’s perspective, which is referred to by the name of your site. However, as a woman, there are things in this article that I am very uncomfortable with. For example, whilst describing yourself as a hard working man, whose time is of value, you do not seem to give the same credit to women, and choose to focus on their ability to send you their naked pictures. In my opinion, this is stereotyping. Many women also work hard and long hours. So what is your point here? Why working hard should stop a person from being respectful? It is sufficient to say once that you are busy and will respond later. However, this is not even the issue that women raise here. They are not saying that they are frustrated because men do not respond to texts that they send them to work. The women here are saying that some men do not respond for hours, days, weekends. Women here are saying that the relationship is on men’s terms and that they feel exhausted of doing all the work, they feel ignored, unappreciated and hurt. I think the message should be loud and clear to men (and women) – leaving the other person ‘hanging’, being selfish, inconsiderate and disrespectful to others is not ok and should not be put up with.
I remember a couple that came to see me in distress because they had recently learned their teenage daughter had been assaulted by a boyfriend. A major conflict arose because John was threatening to kill the boyfriend, upsetting his wife and daughter tremendously. They worried he might actually seek revenge and end up in jail. With some work, I was able to help John express his true feelings: He cried, stating that he felt responsible for what had happened—as though he should've been able to protect his daughter. He felt terribly sad that his daughter was going through such pain, and he fell justifiably angry. After he expressed the full range of his feelings, he no longer threatened to kill the young man and was better able to support his daughter in helpful ways.
Avoid using shortened “chatspeak” like “l8r,” “2day,” “b4,” and “plz.” It might be fine with your friends, but it will make a bad impression on someone you’re romantically interested in. Chatspeak can also be easily misunderstood if the receiver doesn’t know the abbreviations you use. All in all, stick to correctly-spelled words and clear language—at least at first. Don’t text the girl from work “fyi i frgt have an appt l8r idk if i can meet 2day.” Say something clear like “I forgot I have an appointment this afternoon. I’m so sorry, do you mind if we reschedule our date for tomorrow?”
This guy does the same thng. In the beginning he would txt but now very rarely. I usually would send tons of txts. One day i sent a sexy pic and he responded “i like that” and that was all. Well yesterday no txts. But at 9pm he txt and ask if i was mad at him. I said no ofcourse not. He told me to txt him at 9am this morning. I did but no response. Havnt txt him back yet. I think some guys do just want u to chase them to see how good they have u wrapped around their finger. But i learn fast. He is probably getting worried now bcuz two days in a row i held my ground. When he txt later i wont respond. He just pkaying games. Men do that. But he gonna be chasing me bcuz im going to give him the cold shoulder even tho i miss him terribly. If a guy really likes u and he see u are changing he will get scared and fix his attitude
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