Hi Eric! About man’s texting habits, when you’re in a relationship and the guy, being busy, responds to texts but doesn’t actually initiate contact for a couple of days or so, can it mean he doesn’t care that much about our relationship? I mean, from your perspective, don’t the guys feel the need to check in if we’re OK, or is that a sign that they don’t even think about us?


Amy North, BA, BSc, is a woman’s best friend. If you’re searching for the man of your dreams, or you want make your boyfriend stay devoted to you, then Amy North is your gal! Amy's incredibly popular YouTube channel, which boasts over 340,000 subscribers and 20+ million views, helps women learn how to get what they want out of their relationships. Her best-selling program, The Devotion System, reveals a number of psychological ‘hot buttons’ that make any man 'tick', and teaches readers how to use simple techniques and phrases to make any man love you.
I remember that embarrassing "extra help" stigma in high school math. There were the smart people who were able to comprehend the lecture, do the homework, and memorize equations. Then there were the mental circus freaks, like me, who couldn't grasp the concepts, memorize the formulas, or do the homework. When the teacher suggested we get extra help, we bristled.

Do what he asks you to do, without question – If a man asks you for a favor, and you question him and say “why”…he will instantly feel like you just don’t want to do it. If you have to ask him why, it sounds like you need him to CONVINCE you to do it.If he has to convince you to do things, do you really understand him?#2. Maintain yourself – Men are visual, which means if you let yourself go, he will lose interest. He doesn’t want to commit to a woman who is only going to get worse. Maintain yourself physically and health wise, to prove you are willing to be the best you can be for him.

Sigh. It’s not. You don’t have to spend any money to get a boyfriend – you can weave yourself a new hairband if you like. It’s just a way of subtly altering how you feel about yourself. You might find that an easy way to boost your confidence is to accentuate your favourite physical traits, perhaps in a new, slightly daring way, but one that’s true to your own style. But if you get the same kick from spending time with an affirming friend, or going travelling – then do it. Go with your gut and let it lead you to self-satisfied sexiness. This is how to get a boyfriend 101: simple stuff, but it actually works.
6. Be open to what he wants to try in the bedroom. If he says “you’re Benjamin Franklin and I’m a space goat,” just do it! If he wants to cry after prematurely ejaculating, just let him! Then make him a snack. But most importantly, be open to what he wants OUT of the bedroom. In general, just do what he says, always, because one way to make a man love you forever and ever is to pretend you’re a living doll.

The way you were brought up, hugely influences how you’ll be as parents. This is why new parents look at each other and think, ‘Who the hell is this person?’. Staying together purely for the kid’s sake only works if you’re at least good friends. They’re better off seeing both of you happy separately than learning bad love habits from parents who clearly can’t stand each other.
Hi Deborah. I think you should respect his commitment to his long term relationship. His integrity is obviously one of the things you like about him. I think you should ask him if he’ll help you find a nice man like him. Maybe one of his friends might be perfect for you. From day one don’t let them take you for granted. And if your friend is their friend, he’ll be setting them a good example.
8. During the big game, spit out a sport stat that will really impress him. He will literally look at you the way he’d look at a toaster if that toaster suddenly shouted “I am a sentient being!” That means, when you’re not working 80 hours a week, buying him beer, cooking him snacks, or pegging him senseless, you should be studying up on facts about his favorite sporting ensembles. In a few years, you could become a “cool chick.” To be a “cool chick” is the highest honor to which a woman can aspire.

I am a 25-year-old, college-educated, #workingwoman living in Los Angeles, and I have never had a boyfriend. “REALLY?!” is the response I usually receive. Yep, that’s right, World, during my 25 years on Earth, I have zip lined through the rain forests of Costa Rica, ran a half marathon in Central Park, and become a vegan, but I have not yet become a girlfriend.
Show your independence. Show him that you are mentally and physically independent. You don’t need him to do everything for you (although he should feel that he can help you sometimes) and that you have a mind of your own. It adds to his vision of you as a fully developed and interesting person with standards. He wants a partner, not a blow-up doll.
Mirroring is a psychological tactic that has been used for years. When done incorrectly, you can come across like a major creep, but when done right, mirroring is highly effective to make your guy fall in love. Mirroring is all about staying in tune with your guy's actions. If you go out to dinner, and he takes a sip of his drink, take a sip of your drink, too. If he leans in while telling a good story, lean in toward him, as well. Mimicking his body movements will lead him to believe that the two of you are on the same wavelength, and he won't be able to stop himself from feeling attracted to you.

When I justify an action by me being busy, it usually means, sorry dude I consider that the things that I am doing at work right to be of a higher priority and interest than you are. This was me being brutally honest. Now it doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t care for that person intimately on a superficial level…it just means that since they are not a long term investment for me or possibly because I am not at that stage of commitment…


As single millennials, the “Should I text him first?” inevitably pops up in my friend group chats from time to time, followed by thorough deliberation. This time, I went straight to the source for the answers to what, if anything, is appealing about “the chase” when it comes to texting, what the game is about, and how to play. Five guys, ages 20 – 30, opened up about what goes through their minds before they hit send.
While making plans, be as direct as possible. During their focus groups, Ansari and Dr. Klinenberg also noticed a texting trend they dubbed the “secretary problem,” where potential couples would spend so much time trying to “pencil each other in” they would burn out and the spark would fizzle before the first meetup. We asked Vanessa Marin, licensed marriage and family therapist and Lifehacker contributor, how to avoid the “secretary problem,” and she said it’s all about being specific:
It takes time to lock down a handsome multi-millionaire fella. You’ve got to take my advice to heart and proactively be in environments that accommodate such potential interactions. If you haven’t found someone wealthy, don’t worry. Millions of couples are perfectly happy without being wealthy. Life with someone you care about is infinitely better than coming home to an empty bed. May all of you find someone!

How To Make Him Want You And Only You


He got a new bicycle for his birthday. I never did get an answer to my question. I got a letter from my lawyer. She got a phone call from her sister. Did you get my message? You need to get your mother's permission to go. She hasn't been able to get a job. If you want to be successful you need to get a good education. It took us a while to get the waiter's attention. It took us a while to get a taxi.

I met a guy and we met on a Friday night which is rare to begin with. He then preceded to ask me out Saturday night so all was good. We went out the next 2 weekends and started to talk about my personal life. I am in a situation similar to a situation that he just got out of with a 5 year GF. As soon as he found out my Mom lived with me he told me he needed time. A few days time is what he said he needed, but I couldn’t let it go, I kept hounding him and text bombing him. He has not replied to any of my texts for a week now. Is there any chance of getting him back?
^^ thia is what I’ve read but I’m still confused because I am this woman and me and the guy I like and was friends with have been sexting for over a month we agreed fwb but haven’t met up recently due to distance all of a sudden he’s texting/sexting has diminished when I text him he either doenst respond or if he does it’s different I said if u don’t wanna talk to me anymore that’s fine just say but he didn’t say he doesn’t so what’s going on? Lol
I feel bad for u… I feel bad she was an alcoholic.. But don’t give up there are a lot of girls out there that have motive they have good incentives.. I’m an average girl.. But everyone exept the person I’m with tell me I’m such a kind person I have customers come to me random to just thank me for helping them thanking me for being thoughtful thanking me for taking the time to just b understanding and kind.. Sometimes the good girls are disguised.. They work in retail.. Or ur local shops.. Take time to talk to one see i work in a pretty wealthy town.. I don’t judge.. Lol in fact if I guy ever rolled up next to me in a nice car or a beater.. I’d be confused.. Especially if it’s a nice car In fact I probably wouldn’t even think that ur actually talking to me and keep going.. And then me being a careful loyal girl.. The first thing I always say to someone trying to talk to me I’m in a relationship.. I believe to hide nothing.. Always tell the truth.. And if u ain’t got nothing nice to say don’t say nothing at all..
Ben, 27, is our breath of fresh air. “I’m not one for games,” he says, “and the older I get, the less and less I play them. But I do think it is important to not come off as desperate or clingy when first meeting someone, because you don’t want to spook them.” When can you expect a non-strategized text from him? “After 2 – 3 dates, I usually stop worrying about the time or frequency of my texts as strategic, because I feel that I have a read on them and whether or not we like each other.”
I don’t believe any relationship should be prohibiting in anyway for any of the participants, the point is a guy shouldn’t have to text you as a chore..I.e. If he would prefer to be doing something else then he shouldn’t be prohibited from doing that. If he stops texting then he is either playing it cool or would simply rather being doing something else. If a man used to text all the time and showed love and affection then suddenly stops it is probably one of those two reasons. I think my boyfriend of two years has started preferring to do something else, that is fine. It is your mission to find out why your boyfriend has stopped texting. Once you know you can make an informed decision on whether or not you want to carry on with them. Perhaps you like the chase or perhaps you don’t like to feel second best, you decide.
While making plans, be as direct as possible. During their focus groups, Ansari and Dr. Klinenberg also noticed a texting trend they dubbed the “secretary problem,” where potential couples would spend so much time trying to “pencil each other in” they would burn out and the spark would fizzle before the first meetup. We asked Vanessa Marin, licensed marriage and family therapist and Lifehacker contributor, how to avoid the “secretary problem,” and she said it’s all about being specific:
Maybe that’s true. But personally, with rich/successful guys, asking for money is like the WORST thing you can do. Even if your kids are like dying or you have to live on the street. You should be REALLY careful (and really just avoid altogether) asking for financial help of any kind. Just drop hints you’re struggling financially and if he really cares about you, HE will make the decision to give you money (and really the decision needs to be his). This is SO important.

Here is my version of why am I even reading this article the first place. I used to be pretty naive and think that love will conquers all and it really doesnt matter if someone is rich or poor. Interestingly, I’ve been brought up that love exist and so do fairytales, because my parents are great example of one. So in my navie state of mind ,I’ve met those along the way who are just using me.


There is nothing worse than the “k” kiss of death. It’s like a punch in the gut, and our world comes spiraling down around us. But sometimes we overreact to what in reality was probably a quick text while he was distracted by something else or about to head into the gym. And we know what it’s like to stare at your phone waiting for a response. Why didn’t he text you back? Does he not like you? Is something wrong?
#9. Don’t act out toward your man – If he says something that hurts your feelings, or if he does something you disagree with…most women’s first reactions would be to become dramatic and emotional and nag the guy. Don’t do this…because it tells him that you are a nightmare to marry, because instead of remaining calm and allowing him some room to improve, you are just lashing out at him.

Try to make him his best self. Everybody wants to be with someone who makes them a better person. It makes us feel good about ourselves and reassures us that we can be good people if we try. Make this guy the best version of himself by encouraging him to do the things he loves and giving him the space to do those things. However, don't push too hard. If he tells you dot back off, listen.
I never thought about finding a guy primarily because he was rich. With all the fights my parents had about money one might think I’d go chasing after only rich guys but that wasn’t the case. I was more concerned about making a career for myself and being able to make my own money because relationships are not guaranteed and I knew I would need to have money of my own to be able to survive. Insightful points in this post. I can see how a lit of rich people are self made and are very business focused.
A text message is a super easy way to ask someone out. I mean- you’re not face to face, so that takes LOADS of pressure off. I mean, at least you won’t have to be rejected right to your face! (If he DOES reject you, that is). Plus you can be super coy about it. For instance, let’s say the two of you are talking about a new movie coming out. You could tell him that you’re interested in seeing it, but none of your friends like those kinds of movies so you have no one to go with. If he doesn’t get the hint to ask you out by that point, try asking him to accompany you to the movie!
Sure, in an ideal world, a woman should be able to make her fortune and also have enough time to date, get married and have kids. Unfortunately, the problem is time. Getting rich takes a lot of time and it’s a myth that once you make enough money, you can just sit back and relax (actually the opposite). But with that said, this is not impossible but I do think it’s “harder” for a woman to become financially rich and THEN have kids (like when she’s 35-40) then the other way around. Mainly because by the time you become “rich”, you’re used to that lifestyle. To switch roles and suddenly be a stay at home mum and not worry about money anymore.. well does that happen when your source of income is solely on you?

Ways To Make A Boy Like You


I was in a grief fog so I was pretty blind to all this at the time. I look back now and realize, wow, what was I thinking. I got out before major damage. I later found out the trail of financial destruction she had bestowed upon another man a few years prior. She still owes me a lot of money. I keep getting ‘check’s in the mail’ when I reach out to her. However, if need be, my attorney says I have an airtight case to sue her for the money. I am really trying to avoid this as I did know her for 8 years as my wife’s friend but eventually I will need to take action.
10. Treat his friends the way you treat your friends: smile politely, laugh at their jokes, and let your hatred for them slowly consume you from the inside out, like cancer. If you win over his former fraternity brothers, you’ll win his heart. And once you have his heart, you can keep it locked in the trunk of your car. So make plenty of snacks and, when in doubt, just pretend you’re a lamp.

#11. Learn to take a joke…even if its personal                                #12. Learn to take criticism – Men criticize to see improvement, and they do it in order to try to help you see things in a different light.They also criticize to try and show you a solution or a better way to do something, if they see you are struggling. This is why you should learn how to take criticism, because if you freak out every time he criticizes you, you tell him that you won’t be able to improve in the future.

* Women who know what they want are most attractive. Nothing turns a rich man on like a strong woman who is successful in her career or business. The woman who goes for glory piques the most interest. Rich men constantly search for those who they can find their equal or superior. She doesn’t have to be rich. Instead, she can be superbly talented in something that he is not e.g. musical instrument, language, singing, dance, art, etc.

Don’t text “Wanna do something this weekend?” Instead, say “Hey, I’d love to take you out for dinner Wednesday night.” If you can make a callback reference to a previous interaction—like a restaurant or type of food you both talked about—it’s even better. Say something like “Hey, how about dinner at that restaurant we talked about on Wednesday night? Around 8-ish?” As Chelsea Clishem at Patti Knows advises, texting should be the prelude to a conversation, not the conversation itself.

How To Attract Females


Sam- I usually love your blog, but this is sexist click bait- I hope this was written to be a joke. The comments in this thread are very depressing and really highlight how little many women value their own worth. I’m a 34 yr old woman, make around 300K a year and am happily married. I have my bachelors from a state school (no multiple degrees), am a daughter of immigrants and got to where I am by hard work and hustle. Anyways, I’m super happy that I don’t have to follow the advice in this article- rather than trying to “land” a rich man, we women should aim to become the power players in today’s economy.
Don't believe me? In a famous University of Chicago study, researchers showed two sets of pictures of a woman's face to a group of men. The photographs were identical, except for one thing: The pupils in one were doctored to make them look larger. When shown the doctored photograph, men judged the same woman twice as attractive. (There were similar results when sets of photos of a man's face was shown to women.)
When I was first trying to learn Japanese, texting was a god sent. I could spend 30 seconds or 10 minutes on a text and no one would be the wiser. More often than not I was spending the ten minutes. Most of which was used trying to figure out what the hell someone just sent me! Feeling a bit like I was working with a Captain Crunch decoder ring rather than a dictionary I slowly unraveled my text messages. ONLY TO REVEAL! Something very similar to a cereal box message, “mike san, are you happy today?” Of course I would be the creative foreigner and try to use characters I didn’t know. “yes, I am dance at the store yesterday.” This was usually when the other person would respond in English and I would feel a bit silly.
Me and this guy have been friends since middle school.. we're 18 now. We were inseparable. Then I moved to another city and then I realized I really loved him. The only one I ever miss is him. In school we helped each other get over breakups school tests friendship issues everything. When I told him he said he loved me only as a friend or "sister".
An interesting article. I won’t go into details or start any arguing, but my first thought was what an idiot has written this article, especially the second half – the advices for women. The article made me laugh. Where does your experience come from? Some of the advices as I think are exactly the opposite of what the woman should do. When I tried to show interest at dating sites and asked men questions about their jobs – they just disappeared or avoided answering. If the woman goes away for 3 months as it was adviced to follow her goals or goes away to parties alone with friends all the times – I doubt any man, not only a rich man, will be happy with, when she returns back no wonder if she finds some substitute at her place. Wearing comfortable clothes as advised like jeans and trainers won’t attract anyone. If I wear that and I do, men just don’t turn their heads. But if some less atractive woman passes by in short skirt and high heels she is still looked at. One important thing was missed, rich men want only women under 30 or under 25, if you are older than that the chances are deminishing increasingly. It seems these advices saying that the woman should be independent to attract a man concern the middle class men which are well off. Would be more helpful if the article described how to find a man who is rich for good human qualities and good traits of character or the one who preserved these traits of character in spite of getting rich and wasn’t spoilt by wealth.

I humbly offer a different perspective. At 65, I am at a different age spectrum of many of your commenters. I have an FI that meets my needs now and heading into the future. A few years ago I suddenly lost my beloved husband of nearly 30 years. The struggle and searching journey proceeding from that massive loss has transformed much of my worldview. Chris and I shared an epic love. We started out with very little but a shared passionate attachment. But we held similar ethical standards, a commitment to hard work, the willingness to work in therapy when we derailed, love of parenting and so much more. We embraced joy and general silliness whenever possible. We put our love first…always.

Want Him To Want Me


So there’s this guy that I have been texting and hanging out with for almost a year. He used to text me almost right away or at least in the same day if I text early enough. Lately I have to initiate the conversation and I tell him that I don’t like doing that but all he’s done is apoligize and says that he will try to text often but he’s busy with school and work, which I understand since I’m busy too. I’ll text him and if he doesn’t respond within 2 days I won’t text him at all and usually it’s like 2-3 weeks before he starts feeling bad about not texting. Usually at 1 1/2 weeks I’ll text just to make sure he’s okay and still alive and he’ll respond to that but won’t say anything else. I’m starting to get super fed up. I’m wondering how I just completely sever ties with him at this point.
According to Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Courtship, we naturally blink faster when we are emotionally excited. Bat those eyelashes to let him know you’re interested without saying a word. People also, “lean toward whatever – or whomever – they find most important at the time,” according to Love Signals. Use this trick and slightly lean towards him, whether it’s in your chair in class, or while standing at the bar.
Anyway, Sam, you did it again. You had me doing some serious introspection over the past few days thinking about that period in my life and what kind of “advice” I could give. And, well, I concluded that I have no advice to give, and that I wasn’t really a golddigger (I was labeled one after the fact by “friends” with double standards). I actually did not have a method I could share and nothing I did or what happened to me can really be replicated. I was not looking for a rich guy, it wasn’t even a goal. I didn’t go places looking for one hoping some would be there to meet, I didn’t know who was who when I went out, I didn’t dress or put on airs when around certain people. And, because I come from the land of golddiggers, I used to deliberately avoid and get grossed out by old rich dudes who would try to hit on me and put as much distance as possible between that “kind of girl” and me. Until, I finally did start dating rich guys, of which there were only two in my history, AND, they didn’t take care of me, they didn’t give me anything I couldn’t get even at that time on my own. Also, THEY found and pursued ME. And, gasp! I had a genuine connections with them!
Also false. Meeting new people in any circumstance is arguably my favorite activity. I like meeting new people so much that I become anxious thinking about all of the people I haven’t met. Remember that scene from Gilmore Girls where Rory visits the Harvard University library, which holds 13 million volumes, and she freaks out because she hasn’t read every single one of them? I know, I thought she was an unbearable psycho-nerd too. However, her reaction is consistent with my own when I enter new groups of people. While she has to read every book, I like to meet every person in the group or I feel unsatisfied.
So now this is starting to sound like the wrong story for this site right? Wrong. Him and I continued on. Following the secrets of the book “his needs, her needs” My husband trusted me, when we finally claimed bankruptcy, he was free from his ruin and we began again on $4000.00 TOGETHER! We committed to live debt free ( this is key!!) Moved in with my mom! I barely worked at all through out this whole process. I was sick with a undiagnosed illness that lasted years. he was tested at the unemployment office. They showed him his tests and it showed he could choose ANY career he wanted. He score in the 200th percentile on all categories! He picked computers. They accepted his choice and told him they would pay for his training, but before he started training, he got a job In Information technology. Like the days of when I met him originally, he moved up quickly like an ambulance blaring and and clearing the way for anyone behind him. the difference this time? he made enough to buy groceries and pay bills and save a bit.
Sometimes we search too far to get a boyfriend, we don’t realize if the closest person could be someone who can be the best boyfriend for us. I started the relationship with my spouse from a solid friendship. At that time I didn’t realize if he’s the one. I was too busy to find a boyfriend at other places. Till one day I realize if he is the best one, and thanks God he has the same feeling with me 🙂 <<
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