my crush and I got to school together and we've dated off and on for the last 2 years and I dot know how he feels , like we'll hold hands but he always gives mixed signals , he knows how I feel but he also has multiple other people chasing him (more than half of them my backstabbing friends) and I don't want to betray my friends but they knew how I felt as well , I just don't know what to do
For my case though I disagree that money makes me feel more attractive. I’m rather reserved with how I use my money as well. I don’t spend it on things that show wealth like cars and clothing. I usually spend it on things that I enjoy but others won’t see like Good restaurants business class flights and really good cooking apparatus. This mindset of I want to shop among everyone else in walmart with millions in the bank and not a single other person would know it is likely because I don’t want a woman to want me for my money. I want her to want me for my hardworking ethics and I seek that in a woman mostly as well.

Texts To Make Him Want You Back


The greatest appeal that many men working toward their wealth have for me is that they have a growth-oriented mindset built into them already. I’ve seen too many complacent people who just want to work and then come home and watch TV or drink or something. I’m the type of person who will work all day, maybe have an hour of leisure time, and then go do more enriching activities, whether it’s more work, a hobby (such as learning musical instruments), or stimulating conversations. I like that “rich” people who are self-made seem to value improving themselves and the world around them.
The most important thing to remember is to set your heart not on a man, but on Jesus. If you’re spiritually and emotionally settled, you will be infused with love, light and peace that will make you happier than any man could! Finding a good boyfriend is a wonderful part of life. God made us to be together, to be in couples and love each other 🙂 But we can’t rely on men to make us happy, for they are only men.
Stop going to those stupid parties. Expand your personal zeitgeist. "Nice guys" are putting on guerrilla art shows, working with the NRDC, riding in mountain bike rallies, and campaigning to get morons tossed out of Congress. Why not join one of these groups and make a little difference in the world? The men you meet will sometimes be startlingly hot, but who cares? You'll have time to get to know 10 or 12 of the buggers and decide which one really does deserve you.

Make Him Like Me


Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use. View all posts by Brian M →
Me and my bf are dating one and a half year now, he works in an investment bank and he is older than me 15 years. He is rich enough to buy few houses for investment but he never spend much money on me, we go out to dinner at normal places, we take public transportation even he does drive. He has tons of money spenting on his own but never share with me.

It is true that time is the most valuable thing. I’ve worked straight through the end of my college years plus another 8 to get where I am. I find myself working non stop and feeling out of place if I take more than a day off or sit around for a few hours just because I feel tired. Pretty much most women I’ve dated spend most of the relationship complaining that I work to much. They just don’t understand that I got where I am by making good use of my time and I do not want to get lazy and possibly lose everything that I built up.

Natalia This is the story of my life that i am still pondering upon even as i write this article.I maybe judged and i may not be but even if i am judged, no one can ever know my real personality or family.I have been asking myself if i should let the world know about this or maybe i should just keep it to myself cos most people might think am crazy.All the same am telling my story. my husband has four kids and we have a happy family.It wasn’t always just like that.Before my husband, i have been married to five different men.Yeah five, all five marriages failed after six months not cos we had problems or the relationships was on the rock they just come and go without good reason.It was easy to say i was cured by someone or something.I had a feeling there was something about me that wasn’t just appealing in the site of all the men that claimed to love me to death.The entire puzzle of my life just seem to fall into place when i met my present husband i fall hardly in love with him like he also did.It was all in his eye that he loved me with all he’s got.Yeah we got married but just after the first six months as always he just wanted out as every other man that i was married to.I never really wanted to let go of any of my ex husband i was willing to fight for the marriage but they bluntly weren’t ready for that.But this, i just got tired of same old same old thing just wanted a steady marriage with the love of my life.I tried marriage counseling with him which is suppose to me the best way to resolving marital problem but he was like its been tattooed in his mind that he wanted out of our marriage.I WANT TO LEAVE A QUESTION FOR ANYONE READING THIS CAN A WOMAN REALLY BE HAPPY OR FEEL COMPETE WHEN EVERY OF HER MARRIAGE FAILS.CAN A WOMAN EVER FEEL LIKE THEY BELONG IN THE SOCIETY WHEN EVERY MAN SHE IS MARRIED TO REJECT HER AFTER A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME WITHOUT ANY COURSE?FOR ME MY ANSWER IS A NO COS I KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS FOR ME AND
First, with regards to stereotyping… honestly, I think you are creating an issue where there is none. If I say I’m hardworking, that doesn’t take away from the other person’s attributes. Me saying that I’m “X” doesn’t make the other person “not X”. And saying that I enjoy anything about a woman (e.g. her sending sexy pictures to me) doesn’t reduce her in any way either.

Hey I'm maddly in love with a guy and I decide to settle with him in future. But the thing is before we could get into dating, we agreed we wouldn't fall for each other (without even knowing how dating is really like since it's my first time). The guy had a break up as his ex left him that has left an effect on him that he wouldn't want to commit in the next 3 years. This guy and me know each other well, our compatibility of perfect. But I don't know please help me I've fallen for him , he says I made up my mind in advance we wouldn't fall for each other.It's 6 months past we've been together. Please help me, I'm hurt and lost!
There are very specific psychological reasons why females go for the bad boys while the nice guys sit around depressed and lonely while foolishly thinking that if they continue to keep being nice and following dumb "just be yourself"advice, their dating lives will magically change for the better. However, I will not even waste my time typing too much further and getting into all that because I need to move on to other things (and there is plenty of material all over the net to explain the psychological reasoning behind it).
Desperation and insecurity,of any kind, will, naturally seeks control and validation. Desperate and insecure people attract desperate and insecure people who seek to control them in order to validate themselves. The reason a poor girl focuses on marrying a rich man, regardless of what he demands of her, is the same reason the girl who felt ugly in high school stays in an abusive relationship, is the same reason the girl who didn’t get enough attention from her father sees her value in terms of being a sex object.

You just haven't met the right person yet! When you meet someone who makes you light up, you'll know. Until then, there's no point in stressing out. You might be a little shy around strangers, but it’s worth making an effort to meet new people (and get to know the people you already know a little bit better). Don't worry if it takes a little time. The best things in life are worth waiting for!
First off I want to say thanks for your honest and refreshing post. It's rare and a wonderful thing for a guy to admit the challenges men face and try to act opposite of the gender stereotypes. I'm so sorry about your breakup and hope you find happiness and love. Please stay warm and loving and expressive. The right woman will appreciate it. I personally am the type who loves emotional expression in men. 

Get to know (and understand) what he does. This is something that could dramatically increase your chances of winning his love. Take opportunities to get involved in things he does. Ask him whether he needs any help to accomplish a task. If he discovers that you are keenly interested in his plans, he will see that you care for him and that you could be a good partner.
Take it slow. Don't rush your new friend, but remember: if he doesn't like you for who you are, don't spend time trying to get him. Don't hope he'll be your boyfriend right away- give him time to get to know you too. Hang out every once in a while to begin with, then start hanging out more often if it's going well. Usually, if you hit it off and have a lot of fun together, the friendship will grow on its own into more frequent visits. Try not to be that person who looks too desperate; you don’t need to decide that he is your future husband within the first week of meeting him.
i broke up with my bf 7 months ago and it was my fault. But then i even apologized to him on facebook but he didnt reply. Then yesterday after 7months i phoned him and again apologized and asked him to patchup with me. He accepted my apology but didnt accept to patchup. Then i sent him a friend request and he accepted it. But when i messaged him, he didnt reply. Please tell me what should i do. I strongly want him back. I’ll appreciate your help. Stay blessed!

Things To Text Your Boyfriend To Turn Him On


Now's the time to make a joke about something you have in common, something in the news, or something funny going on in your life. You could say something as normal as, "omg, you'll never believe what happened to me today... I got up when my alarm went off (shocked emoji)". Ask him what's up with him, give him a funny challenge ("I bet you can't go the whole day tomorrow without laughing"), or send him a random, funny meme.
So the next time your new friend who is happy with her boyfriend reacts as if you told her you’ve never seen a computer before when you tell her you’re still single, just remember: if you had been placed in the same office at the same time in the cubicle next to the guy who loves your curly hair and sense of humor just as much as you love his eyes and sociability and you both were interested in having a relationship, you’d have a boyfriend too. However, not all of us can be so lucky as to defy logistical improbability.
* Be where rich men are. We tend to end up with people who roam our environment. Pilots date stewardesses, cooks date waitresses, bartenders date everything that moves, doctors date nurses, and Facebook employees date Twitter nerds. The majority of men over 30 who work in banking, management consulting, high tech, big law, and venture capital are on the path to top tier wealth if they keep on saving and working for just one more decade. Attend charity events, volunteer programs, or opening night galas. Rich men love to network while supporting a cause. Lay on a beach at a five-star Hawaiian resort. All Hawaiian beaches are public. Take up traditionally expensive sports like golf and less so tennis which have private clubs. Go to alumni mixers with a friend who went to a prestigious university. There are at least 700,000 men in America (out of 1.4 million $380,000+ tax returns) out there after all.
That being said my husband was never until the last few years the primary breadwinner! Also, I can certainly say, w/ a great amount of thankfulness that he hated the horrific hours I worked! I hated his as well but I do believe the key is finding something (other than him referring to me as his “child bride” and his constant compliments that I’m his “arm candy”, I also find him devistatingly handsome!)
Wow…. ;) So what does it say if both my wife and I were both dirt poor when we first met? At the end of the day, money is money but we appreciate our time together and building wealth together. On a side note, your post reminds me of Eddie Murphy, back in the day, as he was always talking about wanting a woman who would want to be with him because of him and not his money.
Finally, while “renting” a hottie seems like an option, there really no intimacy, no reciprocation, and lots of latex. Its not even close, and its very scary because it is usually a crime, and disease still sometimes gets transmitted. The men who do that stuff just aren’t that smart. Talented, maybe: think actors, musicians, athletes etc, but not smart.
Clinical psychologist Merry Lin writes in her book ‘The Fully Lived Life’, “Faking your way through life is believing that if you let people know the real you, they won’t like you. The tapes that play in your head say that if people really knew what was going on inside you, they would lose respect for you. While you play those roles, juggling those masks you have to wear and hiding your pain … the pressure increases to keep pretending you have it all together.”
It sounds like you may have selected the wrong partner. If she isn’t willing to adjust her spending you will have to let her go. Was she with you before you had money? Has she ever had to earn money on her own? If not it maybe very hard for her to adjust her lifestyle. She may just try to find another man to meet your spending requirements. I would advise men to not reveal their level of wealth when meeting a woman to see how she responds to you when she doesn’t know you have money.
7. Similarity breeds success. "This doesn't mean you've got to marry your clone. But when you're getting to know someone, ask yourself if you and he have the same core values," says Warren, also the author of Date...or Soul Mate? How to Know If Someone Is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates or Less. "Think money, intelligence, lifestyle and sense of humor," he says. And think really hard if your major life goals mix well. Both of you need to agree on the merits or disadvantages of marriage, making babies and whether to aspire to living in a tree house or a penthouse. These are things that you can start finding out in as little as a date or two.
Some rich guys have this fear complex that all they have will soon be gone if they don’t ring-fence their wealth. Maybe he grew up extremely poor and has fears of going back. Maybe he’s heard too many stories of swindle. Or maybe he’s secretly looking for someone who is wealthier. It is tough to say. Sometimes, the more you make the stingier you become.
A study by Zick Rubin, former associate professor at Harvard University, found lovers spent 75% of their time looking at each other; other people spent around 30-60% of their time doing the same. By encouraging someone to gaze into your eyes by maintaining eye contact with them, you can lead their brain towards the idea of love. "The last time they stared into someone's eyes for long periods of time, they were in love," says sexpert Dr Pam Spurr."So in theory, that could trigger their brain to recall feelings of love again."
I know a woman who went out with a man she met on OKCupid. The chemistry wasn’t there, so they decided to be friends. He invited her to a party he was hosting, and she brought her friends. Now they’re all friends, and the ladies often ask the gentleman for advice on reading men. That’s a bonus in my book, to have a male friend who can give you a different perspective on dating than your girlfriends!
Take it slow. Don't rush your new friend, but remember: if he doesn't like you for who you are, don't spend time trying to get him. Don't hope he'll be your boyfriend right away- give him time to get to know you too. Hang out every once in a while to begin with, then start hanging out more often if it's going well. Usually, if you hit it off and have a lot of fun together, the friendship will grow on its own into more frequent visits. Try not to be that person who looks too desperate; you don’t need to decide that he is your future husband within the first week of meeting him. 

Despite popular advice telling women to take charge and ask a guy out, there are a lot of women who don’t feel empowered by making the first move. I know I don't. Most women I know want to feel desired and pursued, not just from the very beginning of the relationship, but throughout their entire love story. The trouble is, women who feel this way too often get caught in the trap of waiting for a guy to make the first move, which is both disempowering and really not the way the old-school courtship process even works.

Another trick to make someone like you over text is to stroke their ego. Let them know they’ve made a positive impact on you and that they’re still on your mind. An example of this would be: “I just saw the cutest little squirrel in the park gathering nuts and it made me think of you!” A text like this is going to make the other person feel special — and making someone feel good is a surefire way to get them to like you.
If it’s a power imbalanced relationship where youth/beauty/desperation meets rich/successful/less attractive/not charming/etc they want more. They don’t just want the attention of a pretty girl, they want the status that comes from an illusion of choice. Even if it’s an almost straight transaction the girl that speaks well seems like she could have chosen someone else to “take care” of her. It’s a greater challenge.
Then, suddenly, you’re single, and you’ve totally forgotten how not to be in this frame of mind. This isn’t how to get a boyfriend. The usual cycle is for desperation to kick-start the “Definitely Notice Me Right Now Mode” which gently fades into the more attractive “You Can Notice Me If You Want Mode”. This transition can take weeks, months, even years. But there are three neat little tricks to skip the desperate phase, and gracefully slip into charming nonchalance:
The explanations of male thinking is also not "boys will be boys" trash that insists sexist and misogynistic behaviors are simply "biological" for men & have to be tolerated by women. Instead of making excuses, the author manages to be honest & fair in describing common male mindsets & how & why certain negative attitudes/behaviors are triggered (much as stereotypical female negative behaviors can be triggered by crappy moves on a guys' part). Since a relationship is a dynamic, it's only fair to adjust what you can control - yourself. So you learn very subtle methods to hone your social & dating skill to basically COMMUNICATE in a way that men in general will grasp correctly.
Similarity may also play a role here. Wherever you meet him, the gym, the library, or class, if you both frequent the same spots, you’re likely to run into each other again. This also means, if you hit it off one night, make sure to let him know you want to hang out again, since, (now we know!) the more you see each other, the more likely you are to fall for him, and him for you! But, no, please don’t stalk him.
13. Be mindful of that ole black magic. At first glance you felt more of an urge to hold his hand than jump his bones? That's not a terrible sign: Physical attraction can deepen as you really get to know and trust each other. But there must be an ember of initial attraction to build from. Without any chemistry, Warren says, you're better off as friends.
Before you hit send on your phone it’s important that you read the text message you’ve typed up. Check it for clarity, spelling and tone. Read it at least five times; you’d be surprised how easy it is to overlook the simplest mistakes. Besides, if you send him a powerful message that then has to be followed up with a spelling correction or explanation, the original message you’ve sent is going to lose it’s bite. So don’t sell yourself short, read your messages before sending.
I don’t care about getting a “rich” man– just a good man who can appreciate me for me. Yet it is still incredibly difficult, and I’m not sure why. Not to toot my own horn, but I do everything that is on your “women do this” list. Most of the guys I’ve dated have been in their mid thirties (I’m 26) and honestly usually know more about personal finance and money management than they do. I’m successful, own my own house, don’t depend on anyone to pay my bills, work hard, have big dreams, and know what it’s like to struggle (have lived through some childhood trauma). I never take things for granted because I learned very young that life can end in a second.
* Be your own person. Thoroughly pursue your dreams and do not give up until you get there. It’s important not to compromise your standards for a rich man. If you’ve always wanted to make it on Broadway, don’t you dare leave New York City to be closer to a man who lives in Chicago. If your dream job demands that you travel for three months a year, go for it and don’t look back. The more you focus on what you want, the more the rich man will want you. He has the financial resources to move, travel, or buy a piede de terre where you live if he wants to be with you so don’t worry about not pursuing your goals.
Similarity may also play a role here. Wherever you meet him, the gym, the library, or class, if you both frequent the same spots, you’re likely to run into each other again. This also means, if you hit it off one night, make sure to let him know you want to hang out again, since, (now we know!) the more you see each other, the more likely you are to fall for him, and him for you! But, no, please don’t stalk him.
You would think that with the proliferation of dating apps, it would be easier to find The One. Or at least, The One I Can Settle Down With. But after a year of swiping on Tinder, Bumble, Bite, Coffee Meets Bagel and going on dates, I’ve realised I’m no closer to getting into any sort of relationship. Hookups? Oh yeah, these apps will definitely connect you to the nearest available D faster than you can order McD’s. But getting a boyfriend? Like Charlotte, I’m exhausted. Where is he?

Now before you attack that idea as sexist, we're really just talking about two people who come together to love, care for and make each other's life even better by forming a cooperative partnership here. The real beauty of a relationship is when two people come together with a desire to give rather than just take. That's when the magic is unleashed.


We know you're naturally a nice person and everyone loves you, but you need for your guy to see this trait in order to fall in love with you. We're not asking you to be a saint, or the second coming of Mother Teresa; but anytime you can show him how kind you are, do it! It can be as simple as volunteering for a charity function, or paying for the person in line behind you at Starbucks. If he knows that you are a giving person who goes out of your way for complete strangers, he will instantly fall in love!
Do not overtext. This is a big one as too much texting can destroy attraction. As a general rule, whoever is putting the most effort into the communication is the one doing the chasing. So if you want to be the pursued rather than the pursuer, then you must not overtext. Instead, look to keep the text ratio close to 1:1 and text the other person about as frequently as they text you.
As for the very emotional and negative comments – maybe its because people don’t want to believe that its so easy to get a rich husband/boyfriend. That the core was ‘self-value’. That money isn’t a demon. That it offers choices and experiences and satisfaction from life. This article makes us question ourselves and then when we don’t like what we realise….then we lash out.
Most rich men are fairly loyal family men. They are the breadwinners at the later part of life, but they often meet their significant other before they are wealthy, and sometimes the wife needs to support them in the beginning. I have never noticed that wealthier men are likely to be scoundrels. And many of the wealthier men I know, hang around with poorer friends they have known all their life. I don’t really think I agree with this article exactly, except that a lot of them are worry warts, and a lot of them are cheapskates. But then, if you love someone, you protect them, thats how all men are. I think if you asked a wealthy man if they wanted a wife that was independently wealthy, they would say; yes, but I also think they would be lying. They like the control being the one with the money gives them, even if that control is largely imaginary.

Just read a book about psychology – manipulation – priming & Co for getting to know how to catch someones attention. To make him depending on your attention and love. Do not tell too much about you and be mysterious. Care about your look, but do not annoy him with long talks about styling, beauty OPs & Co. No man is interested in such bullsh*t and therefore you got your friends.
I’m glad you know how I feel, it means a lot. I don’t even talk about that period of my life with anyone or these feelings, and it’s nice to hear that you agree I should feel awesome for making it on my own. I don’t get discredited anymore because I don’t look that way anymore–older now, dress differently, different hair color, carry myself differently, etc. I also gravitated towards a career/office in which I am rarely ever seen by anyone, 99% of the work I do is on the phone and computer and I have my own office. I’m also totally google clean and have no pictures of myself floating about the net connected with my current name.

According to Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Courtship, we naturally blink faster when we are emotionally excited. Bat those eyelashes to let him know you’re interested without saying a word. People also, “lean toward whatever – or whomever – they find most important at the time,” according to Love Signals. Use this trick and slightly lean towards him, whether it’s in your chair in class, or while standing at the bar.
You don’t like my opinion – no problem. There are plenty of sites that will pander to whatever you want to hear… regardless of whether or not its helpful or even damaging to your love life — they don’t care, they just want your clicks so they can sell ad space. I’m doing my best to help women get real results and escape the vortex of bad or harmful advice in magazines, tv shows, movies, books, etc.
An interesting article. I won’t go into details or start any arguing, but my first thought was what an idiot has written this article, especially the second half – the advices for women. The article made me laugh. Where does your experience come from? Some of the advices as I think are exactly the opposite of what the woman should do. When I tried to show interest at dating sites and asked men questions about their jobs – they just disappeared or avoided answering. If the woman goes away for 3 months as it was adviced to follow her goals or goes away to parties alone with friends all the times – I doubt any man, not only a rich man, will be happy with, when she returns back no wonder if she finds some substitute at her place. Wearing comfortable clothes as advised like jeans and trainers won’t attract anyone. If I wear that and I do, men just don’t turn their heads. But if some less atractive woman passes by in short skirt and high heels she is still looked at. One important thing was missed, rich men want only women under 30 or under 25, if you are older than that the chances are deminishing increasingly. It seems these advices saying that the woman should be independent to attract a man concern the middle class men which are well off. Would be more helpful if the article described how to find a man who is rich for good human qualities and good traits of character or the one who preserved these traits of character in spite of getting rich and wasn’t spoilt by wealth.
Men may experience their feelings through physical complaints. It's not uncommon to see men experience their feelings through things such as headaches are backaches. You may know of a man who gets headaches only on the weekends, or becomes sick during vacations. Why does this happen? Because as long as men are working, they can cut off their feelings. Without the structure of work, however, their feelings and needs surface, and may be expressed through physical symptoms.
#22. Be calm when he is stressed – When a man is stressed it can be a HUGE problem, because he acts out of character, is unpredictable, may lash out at you, and may withdraw.BUT, instead of blaming him and arguing, just be calm and let the storm pass. He needs to know that you UNDERSTAND him in that area, and doesn’t need a woman who makes it all about “herself” when he has something stressful going on.
“As far as rules on when to return a text, don’t sit and bite your fingers counting the hours to pretend you’re not available,” Spira says. “If you hear from him and have your phone handy, respond in a reasonable time. This means within a few minutes to one hour. A study from online dating sites ChristianMingle.com and JDate showed that a reasonable response time is one hour or one to three hours. Anything after that sends a message that you’re really not that interested.”
From landing a first date to establishing emotional intimacy, playful flirtation to red-hot bedroom tips, Matthew’s insightfulness, irreverence, and warmth makes Get the Guy:  Learn Secrets of the Male Mind to Find the Man You Want and the Love You Deserve a one-of-a-kind relationship guide and the handbook for every woman who wants to get the guy she’s been waiting for.

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Look your best. That doesn't mean changing yourself to impress another person. Take pride into your appearance to give yourself an aura of confidence that can be highly attractive to someone you want to attract. Make a point to always be well-groomed and clean, from your hair to your teeth. Dress and accessorize to accentuate your finest feature, whether it's your hair or your height.
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