I moved to LA after two years in New York, where there are a plethora of guys my age. Unfortunately, though I did go on dates, nothing stuck. Now, I’ve moved across the country. There could be a guy, even a friend of a friend (the perfect set-up!), currently living in New York who would be happy to be my boyfriend, but I’ll never know. Frequently, on the street in New York, I’d walk by a guy I could picture myself dating, and I’d want to blurt out, “What bar will you be at on Saturday, and why weren’t you also at The Jane last Saturday night like I was?!” Which brings me to:
#9. Don’t act out toward your man – If he says something that hurts your feelings, or if he does something you disagree with…most women’s first reactions would be to become dramatic and emotional and nag the guy. Don’t do this…because it tells him that you are a nightmare to marry, because instead of remaining calm and allowing him some room to improve, you are just lashing out at him.
I just came across this article while I am panicking waiting for a response from a man. Thanks, it’s a good read. I met him 2 weeks ago outside a club, and asked for his number, which he gave me. I text him the day after and he replied very fast, but then I noticed he was matching my response times. Our last communication was 3 days ago, I text him today and 4 hours later, still waiting for a reply! He said he would know about something we had discussed on Monday (yesterday) but he never got back to me. We haven’t arranged a proper first date yet, although he has mentioned “we should go out so some weekend”
When you spend down the principle ( the original amount we saved), you don’t have money to be free. What being a millionaire means is that I can purchase organic foods instead of regular foods and when I go to the grocery store I don’t have to choose. I have a budget but it is a reasonable one and can purchase any food item I want with in that budget. But shopping for nice clothes is still out of the question.
The confines of a socialization process; restricting men to show the full scope of the emotional inner life. That kind of reasoning sounds interesting in a typical psychological way but fails to take into account the broader social life of individuals. Perhaps that many men feel confined by such a socialization process, but what about those who do not feel this confinement? I guess men trying to fully share their emotions is part of an emanicaption process. For other men it's just not applicable; they share their emotions in a different way, e.g. through doing chores or giving presents. Finally, which human being (man or woman) does not feel confined by socialization processes?! These give way to a more successful participation in society, but at the same time impose boundaries of social behaviour in which we can feel either comfortable or not.
^^ thia is what I’ve read but I’m still confused because I am this woman and me and the guy I like and was friends with have been sexting for over a month we agreed fwb but haven’t met up recently due to distance all of a sudden he’s texting/sexting has diminished when I text him he either doenst respond or if he does it’s different I said if u don’t wanna talk to me anymore that’s fine just say but he didn’t say he doesn’t so what’s going on? Lol
Dear E. Jean: Are guys worth the effort? I'm 22 and having a hard time because (a) I am really sweet and conservative, don't go out looking like a slut, and never act like I want to hook up with as many people as possible; and (b) guys are mostly into getting laid, drinking, partying with their buddies, and doing it all over again the next weekend (with a different girl).
Expensive hobbies, memberships, travel, affluent neighbors and friends, keeping up appearances requires a lot of income which means you pay a lot of taxes. Meanwhile, yoga, exercise, music, movies and living under tax radar (below $35,000) with tax exempt income in a comfortable paid up home with no debt means you pay NO TAX. I don’t resent paying taxes because I haven’t paid any since 2011 and I have never received any public assistance. Net worth, not income is the key to long lasting wealth and a 401K is taxable income when it is withdrawn so at some point investing in real estate as a tax shelter and holding stocks that pay some dividend keeps you tax free.

Take it slow. Don't rush your new friend, but remember: if he doesn't like you for who you are, don't spend time trying to get him. Don't hope he'll be your boyfriend right away- give him time to get to know you too. Hang out every once in a while to begin with, then start hanging out more often if it's going well. Usually, if you hit it off and have a lot of fun together, the friendship will grow on its own into more frequent visits. Try not to be that person who looks too desperate; you don’t need to decide that he is your future husband within the first week of meeting him.


As Nerdlove explains, tone is incredibly difficult to gauge via text. Even if you’re using emoji and emoticons, you need to be careful with jokes, teasing, and even flirting. You may think you’re being flirty and silly, but they might think you’re being serious and crossing the line. Use the other person’s real name early on, not nicknames or pet names. Yes, you want to let the cute guy from the gym know that you’re attracted to him, but only referring to him as “handsome” or “gorgeous” could be taken the wrong way, or worse, make them think you forgot their name.

There was a clear divide here. Two out of three of the 20 – 23 year olds said there is nothing appealing about someone being “hard to get.” David, 20, clarifies, “It makes them seem conceited and uninterested.” Nate, 30, weighs in with the younger crowd on this one, stating that “nothing” is appealing about a girl who is “hard to get.” He advocates the “straight to the point” approach: “I am always one who is aggressive and goes after what I want. You know pretty quickly if someone is into you or if you are into them. Whether it’s via text, at a bar or Steak ‘n Shake, “hard to get” is a thing of the past. I have noticed over past 3-4 years even females have been more aggressive in pursuit.”

Help him feel special. One way to charm a guy is by treating him in a manner that makes him feel like he's special to you. When you're talking to him in a group of his pals, pay special attention to him. Make steady eye contact and ask him specific questions. Go out of your way to speak to him when you can and show a strong interest in his life, from his hobbies and his career to his family and friendships.
If you’re wondering how to find a boyfriend, sweetie, get in line! There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but who wants to date a fish? We want boyfriends, and we want good ones, now! I’ve done loads of research, and put myself through a grueling dating boot-camp, so I can help, at least a little. Here are 8 ways to find a boyfriend. Are you ready?

Conversation Starters For Texting


He’s taking forever to text you back? Use my “unclogger” techniques. He texts but never asks you out? I’ll show you easy ways to fix it. It’s also important to know how to spot jerks before you get too far in, how to deal with indecisive guys, and turning his ambivalence into passion. I’m going to show you how to fix them all in my guide to texting!  It’s a PDF that instantly downloads to your pc, Mac, tablet or smartphone so you can start reading it immediately after you order. 
My boyfriend and I took a break for a couple of months. We saw each other last week, and everything was just great ! And invited me to go to the beach with his daughter in the morning. However I had plans that day, with my Mom. But I asked for a raincheck. Anyway few days later asked him, if he wanted to go have ice cream and he replied “that he was in park with his daughter and then going to a restaurant. ” Then I answered, “At church, leaving soon, Where is the restaurant ? Seems like a funny name for a place. Lol.” Haven’t got a response since. I hope he didn’t think like if I was inviting myself, because I didn’t mean that. I just wanted to see him. And nothing else. What do I do ? Please help, I want to take the proper steps. Haven’t heard from him since Saturday and it’s Monday.
Hi Eric, a guy from work and I have been talking about dating and getting to know each other more for about 7 mos. We didn’t have an actual date until 6 mos after we’ve been talking about dating. We’ve shared alot of intimacy. He even asked how committed I wanted to be. I told him I’d like to have a growing, flourishing relationship with him. He said he’s looking for something very long term if things all work out. A couple weeks ago I got too anxious, excited and emotional and sent him a string of texts asking what’s going on and how do I know if you don’t tell me. He didn’t reply to any of them. Earlier in the relationship he said communication is one of 3 important things in a relationship. I asked him if we could work this out and I got no reply. I’m lost and don’t know what to do or say to him. Please help! Thank you!
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He presented me with the idea that we should still live “poor” as we both were used to. mean while he poured as much money as he could into the employee stock purchase program. Invested in the maximum $$ he was allowed to in the 401 K program with company matching program and found a way to purchase an IRA. This was an aggressive plan. But we were not uncomfortable. We still ate ok and had a roof over our heads. With in three years of this plan, we had saved enough to put a down payment on a house. Then I gave birth to my first but last child since I was 39 years old by the time she was born. We were over our heads in debt with this house but we remained true to our conviction that we could still live “poor” while hiding the $$ from ourselves in various programs available to him while still making the house payments. The house payment was the only debt we had at the time.
okay maybe u will find me somewhat ‘unique’ but let me spare u some advice. why do u have to limit your life to finding someone to be with forever? don’t get me wrong but isn’t it some sort of empowering to live on your own? happiness does not come a from a person. be kind towards others and have a great personality and character can also give one’s happiness. of course, the ultimate happiness come from God. when u have God and u feel His love what more do u need? I am perfectly happy and content just by loving God and live according to His will.
Ask interesting questions. “How are you?” isn’t interesting. “Tell me five things about you, four of them true” is. Be interesting. You also need to know what to do if the texting goes drier than a popcorn fart. For that you need fun, conversational starters (icebreakers). I’m going to show you a list of zany icebreakers that’ll totally get his attention.
In fact, it may even prevent you from finding a boyfriend. You’ve heard the saying like attracts like? If you spend all your energy complaining about being single, you’re creating negative energy.  It’s like filling your body up with junk food. These junk thoughts impact what you attract. If you complain about being single, you’ll stay single. Or you’ll attract the wrong kind of guy simply because you don’t want to be alone.
Anyway, rant over. It’s just ironic sometimes, because there are those, probably you too, Sam, that would say I made the wrong choice. It seems like nowadays that would be the consensus. They would say so because they were never in a similar situation, never had been presented with a such a choice, and think the choice would be so logical, so easy.
I’m considered wealthy and successful by scale I suppose but I don’t make $10MM a year or anything. I could within reason purchase most anything I wanted at any point that wasn’t aimed at the ultra rich but I’m a fairly normal MidWestern guy…just living life and enjoy being a businessman (although I didn’t really enjoy being an engineer…we’ll just call it a stepping stone).

Make Guy Fall For You


No guy should ever leave you waiting by the phone. You have a life and you’re not going to put if off for some guy. If a guy expects you to wait around for whenever he feels like texting you back, he needs to get off his high horse and realize that your world doesn’t revolve around him. Men aren’t God’s gift to women. If he leaves you waiting around to hear from him, send him a message of your own and just move on.
Tip #3: The Vibrant Vibe. According to Adam, the law of attraction is that like attracts like. By this he means if you want to attract fun and exciting guys, you've got to be fun and exciting yourself. He says, "if you have the stink face' look all night and appear miserable, guess who you'll be attracting? You guessed it, the creepers." Ugh, we all know the ones right? The ones who are all, "I bet I could make you smile, girl." Ew. On the other hand, if you're enjoying yourself, you're more likely to attract great guys. According to Adam, "women who get approached by quality guys always have the vibe that projects I'm loving my night regardless!'" On a non-guy-related note, having fun is always superior to not having fun.
If it never seems to happen, remember there's no rush, especially when you're young and fancy-free. Some people have a new snogging partner every week, but you have to ask yourself whether you want a fling or something more meaningful. If it's the latter, you might have to be patient before you hook up with your prize catch, but when it does happen, it will be worth the wait!
The most important thing to remember is to set your heart not on a man, but on Jesus. If you’re spiritually and emotionally settled, you will be infused with love, light and peace that will make you happier than any man could! Finding a good boyfriend is a wonderful part of life. God made us to be together, to be in couples and love each other 🙂 But we can’t rely on men to make us happy, for they are only men.

I humbly offer a different perspective. At 65, I am at a different age spectrum of many of your commenters. I have an FI that meets my needs now and heading into the future. A few years ago I suddenly lost my beloved husband of nearly 30 years. The struggle and searching journey proceeding from that massive loss has transformed much of my worldview. Chris and I shared an epic love. We started out with very little but a shared passionate attachment. But we held similar ethical standards, a commitment to hard work, the willingness to work in therapy when we derailed, love of parenting and so much more. We embraced joy and general silliness whenever possible. We put our love first…always.
I was in a grief fog so I was pretty blind to all this at the time. I look back now and realize, wow, what was I thinking. I got out before major damage. I later found out the trail of financial destruction she had bestowed upon another man a few years prior. She still owes me a lot of money. I keep getting ‘check’s in the mail’ when I reach out to her. However, if need be, my attorney says I have an airtight case to sue her for the money. I am really trying to avoid this as I did know her for 8 years as my wife’s friend but eventually I will need to take action.
Like when I'm in my regular clothes like he stares at me alot and and I kind of think he likes me but when I'm in my school uniform he doesn't pay any attention to me and he doesn't bother to talk to me or get to know me but then when I asked him out he was like I don't know yet but I feel like if you really did like me he would come and talk to me to know me so we can get to know each other he talks more to the other girls and he talks to me it's like having to get to know each other if we can talk and then I'm going as soon as I'm starting the conversation and it's like he doesn't real want to talk to me in the longest conversation we've ever had is it was about like five minutes and then it just got really crazy and his first girlfriend knew that I liked it and then I tried to be friends with his girlfriend to get closer to him but that didn't seem to work but I don't want to really be a man stealer I want him to want me and I don't want to be his third where I want to be his number one so now I'm like crossed up and I don't even know what to do anymore I just stop talking to him in trying to get closer to him and he just left me alone and I left him alone and it was like that's that but I still really like him then I don't know what to do.
I know a woman who went out with a man she met on OKCupid. The chemistry wasn’t there, so they decided to be friends. He invited her to a party he was hosting, and she brought her friends. Now they’re all friends, and the ladies often ask the gentleman for advice on reading men. That’s a bonus in my book, to have a male friend who can give you a different perspective on dating than your girlfriends!

Texts To Make Him Hard


It turns out that men and women want the same thing: a lasting, meaningful relationship. Matthew says that finding "the guy" isn't just about finding "a guy." It's about creating a life with someone who engages you at every level. In Get the Guy, Matthew shows you how to be proactive in your love life so that you can meet, talk to, and win over the guy who's right for you—without playing games.
I humbly offer a different perspective. At 65, I am at a different age spectrum of many of your commenters. I have an FI that meets my needs now and heading into the future. A few years ago I suddenly lost my beloved husband of nearly 30 years. The struggle and searching journey proceeding from that massive loss has transformed much of my worldview. Chris and I shared an epic love. We started out with very little but a shared passionate attachment. But we held similar ethical standards, a commitment to hard work, the willingness to work in therapy when we derailed, love of parenting and so much more. We embraced joy and general silliness whenever possible. We put our love first…always. 

Want Him To Want Me


Really, this should all happen rather naturally, but sometimes when a guy makes you nervous, it can be easy to clam up. If this sounds like you, pay special attention to your posture. How are you seated or standing? If your hips, feet, and shoulders are 100 percent aligned with your girlfriend at the bar, and the cute guy who caught your eye is to the left, right, or behind you, you are sending him the wrong signals. According to research, women who face their chairs out toward the man they are interested in or open their stance when standing have the most success signaling men to approach. Don’t just take it from me. We also talked to real guys who say they notice this, among other things.
You know you love it when the guy you’re dating asks you questions about your life and interests, so why wouldn’t you reciprocate?  Asking questions about his job, his family, his hobbies, or his day is an excellent strategy in how to text a guy to keep him interested. By showing your own interest in his life, he is reassured that you dig him, and he’ll respond in kind.
Until the day I fell in love with a poor guy who was the love of my life and I decided that I had all the tools to become wealthy on my own. Also, most people don’t share your respect for “resourceful women”. Being an Asian female, society is specifically very hard on “young pretty Asian girls with old rich white guys.” I didn’t want to be that chick. And I didn’t want all of my accomplishments, even if I genuinely did it on my own, to be because I married some wealthy powerful guy. I had been through enough crap not being given enough credit for my accomplishments in my life because I was “pretty”, but I’d lose ALLLL of my credit, past and future, if I married some rich dude. I wanted the respect that came with earning it all on my own. I grew up poor, I worked hard for everything I had, and I didn’t want to be seen as someone who took the easy way out. I mean, I worked hard in school, went to a Tier 1 US college, and studied abroad at one of the highest ranked universities in the world, for what, to impress a rich dude with clever conversation that they don’t usually hear coming out of a model chick’s mouth?
Here’s what I don’t get. Why are there so many posts about how women should change for men? It’s always something basically saying “Don’t have any emotions or act like a normal human being, just be like a sex robot and you’ll be fine!” We’ll guess what that may cater towards men’s needs but then the woman isn’t getting what she wants usually. There needs to be a balance. Men need to start catering towards women’s needs more, not the other way around.
Guess their answers. Another way to have fun and keep your texts interesting is to guess how they might answer. This is a great way to spice up your texts, separate yourself from others, and ultimately get them interested in you. For example, your text could read: “What are you up to this weekend? Let me guess…taking a speed-knitting class so you can make me a scarf! You are sooo sweet!”
If your guy loves you, he will appreciate your thoughts on how the universe is expanding and time is moving so fast. He will like the daily updates about which dogs you saw that day, and he’ll especially enjoy the childhood story of how you fell out of a tree in your grandma’s backyard. He will learn to appreciate your mood swings and the long, terrific tales that come with them of the rude girl in chemistry who would not stop kicking your chair. Whatever it is, they want to hear their significant other spill their heart out. They love you and your (bad) storytelling habits.
Anyways, enough about my feelings, the point I’m making is that every message you send your man should be exciting. Now, I know this can be tough, especially if you have the kind of relationship where you communicate daily through texts, and share those little mundane thoughts and updates, but seriously, believe me when I say it’s time to stop. From here on out you want to make sure that every text message you send is captivating and exciting! I’ll touch more on this later.
I humbly offer a different perspective. At 65, I am at a different age spectrum of many of your commenters. I have an FI that meets my needs now and heading into the future. A few years ago I suddenly lost my beloved husband of nearly 30 years. The struggle and searching journey proceeding from that massive loss has transformed much of my worldview. Chris and I shared an epic love. We started out with very little but a shared passionate attachment. But we held similar ethical standards, a commitment to hard work, the willingness to work in therapy when we derailed, love of parenting and so much more. We embraced joy and general silliness whenever possible. We put our love first…always.

Want Him To Want Me


Before you hit send on your phone it’s important that you read the text message you’ve typed up. Check it for clarity, spelling and tone. Read it at least five times; you’d be surprised how easy it is to overlook the simplest mistakes. Besides, if you send him a powerful message that then has to be followed up with a spelling correction or explanation, the original message you’ve sent is going to lose it’s bite. So don’t sell yourself short, read your messages before sending.
4. Nix the ex talk. On the first few dates, Brooks advises her clients to excise the desire to tell the new man all about the previous boyfriend. If your ex was fabulous, your date will feel he can't measure up. But if you bash your ex too much, your date could think, Whoops—she might be talking about me that way in a few months! Similarly, you should be wary of a man who can't stop talking about his former paramour. If he's still hung up on her, his heart has no room for you.
In fact, it may even prevent you from finding a boyfriend. You’ve heard the saying like attracts like? If you spend all your energy complaining about being single, you’re creating negative energy.  It’s like filling your body up with junk food. These junk thoughts impact what you attract. If you complain about being single, you’ll stay single. Or you’ll attract the wrong kind of guy simply because you don’t want to be alone.
Now this boy being fresh out of high school too had no money! His parents, were the same financial situation as my own. So what was the difference between this boy and all others? He was a wonderful friend! But I also noticed, he climbed in the company quickly! He was smart, efficient, intelligent, and became the favorite of his bosses quickly. He had wonderful work ethic while at work, but was always late, not just by 5 min but sometimes an hour late to work EVERY DAY!! He got away with it because, he was so good at everything he did at work. he had a Midas touch. I latched onto him, not only because he was my best friend, but also, he was like following an ambulance with the lights on and blaring clearing the road for any one behind the ambulance.

Wealthy men generally aren’t drawn to make longer term investment in girls that rite lik u don no how 2 speek an u jus need a man ain gunna cheet cuz u ha enuf of dat wit ur dum ex cuz he wuz so bad. Nobody cares about your bad past relationships. The rich man will think less of you because meeting your self proclaimed low standards is less gratifying than a woman who has the wit not to whine about people they chose badly.

Look your best. That doesn't mean changing yourself to impress another person. Take pride into your appearance to give yourself an aura of confidence that can be highly attractive to someone you want to attract. Make a point to always be well-groomed and clean, from your hair to your teeth. Dress and accessorize to accentuate your finest feature, whether it's your hair or your height.

In all honesty, there's nothing this book can do that can make me love it, add it to my fave list, or plainly stop the rage that grew inside me while reading this. Admittedly, this book just isn't for me. It's got stereotyping, an annoying protagonist that's in desperate need of popularity, a protagonist who tries to please every people she meets and is highly insecure of her standing in the popularity list.
True, I have no blog and am a consumer of PF blogs only, a point not lost on me and that I freely give to Sam (backup a couple posts and read my comments), however, I call bullshit when I see it Janey. Though I disagree with Sam on occasion, I make an effort to give him a hat tip as well for the massive effort he puts into his posts-this isn’t lost on me.

Your post made me think of this viral e-mail that went around a few years back from a 25-year old girl looking for a wealthy man ($250,000 will not get her Central Park West so you need half a million to be up to her standards). In response, a banker calls this a bad business deal and a depreciating asset. An interesting read if you haven’t seen it already.
I was in a grief fog so I was pretty blind to all this at the time. I look back now and realize, wow, what was I thinking. I got out before major damage. I later found out the trail of financial destruction she had bestowed upon another man a few years prior. She still owes me a lot of money. I keep getting ‘check’s in the mail’ when I reach out to her. However, if need be, my attorney says I have an airtight case to sue her for the money. I am really trying to avoid this as I did know her for 8 years as my wife’s friend but eventually I will need to take action.
^Relationships based on this premise are destined for failure. Relationships are based on love, friendship, mutual interests, respect, loyalty and being able to put up with your significant other’s shit after the honeymoon period is over. While a stable/successful spouse is a very desirable thing, if one’s relationship is based on money foremost, I’d expect to see the big D in the near future. Sex, money and illusions of some magical life all fade very quickly and all you’re left with is the fundamental person and all their quirks, for better or worse.
Let the guy you like know that you like him a lot, but never let him know that you’ve fallen head over heels for him. Always make him wonder about how serious you are, and let him be the first one to make the move into a serious relationship. The longer the chase, the more he would want you. But at the same time, push him away too often, and he’ll give up on the chase. Play hard to get, and yet, warm up to him often.
I have read many of the comments here. I am a psychology major, who dares to dream. I went through a divorce that ended due to my ex husband cheating multiple times. I have helped many throughout my healing process when it comes to relationship advise. Money is material. It can be replaced. But your soul mate, the one you are destined to be with is irreplaceable. Your soul mate is your best friend, the one who listens to you, cares for you when you well and sick, the one you can laugh with, create memories, the one who will hold you, take time out of their day to cherish you, adore you, love you for you, not your title, or how much you make, the one who completes you mentally, physically, and spiritually. I am a single woman that knows what I want, and will not settle for anything less. I have been through many challenges in life, but through my challenges, have discovered who I am, how I can help others, and grow. I was married for eight long years, as I settled for what I thought I deserved and stayed in an unhealthy relationship. Since 2010 (the year I left that behind), I was able to complete a degree in psychology with a very high GPA, have a current 4.0, in the honors society, and have received over thirty thousand dollars. I am currently pursuing a degree in nursing. Even through I am in some school debt, I have allowed nothing to stand in my way of success. FEAR is a huge factor, even in relationships. I dare to dream, so I challenge each of you to find who you are before you find your mate, know what you want, and never settle for less. Remember life can be fun, full of endless memories, challenges come with it as well, and who you have standing next to you will help you discover your dreams and challenges and help you accomplish them if you have your soul mate. Money will come with time, it can be replaced, but again your soul mate cannot. Your soul mate needs to complete you! Money itself cannot complete you! (Just some food for thought)
Anyways, good advice for single women. I think there comes a point in most of our lives where a successful man becomes more attractive to us than a pretty man. Maybe this happens at about 25. I’m attending the wedding this weekend of a friend who is marrying a very successful guy and he is totally smitten by her – she is gorgeous, a fantastic surfer (better than him), a great cook and has a good legal career of her own.

You’ve heard that opposites attract? Well, forget about that. Many studies have revealed that people are likely to be attracted to individuals who resemble them. Whether due to social, cultural, developmental or some deeper psychological cause, your man will likely be more attracted to you if you remind him of himself. Cut your hair, start wearing similar clothes, if cosmetic surgery is an option then go for that.
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