I'm in a bind with my partner who will react with verbal abuse after being triggered by Ne saying something that may have triggered A sense of shame, embarrassment or what ever feeling he felt. My words aren't intentionally hurtful and it rarely happens but when it does I reflect back on what i said and I could see why he over reacted. I apologise but the verbal abuse continues and then he leaves to sleep elsewhere. His behaviour isn't acceptable to a healthy and nurturing relationship and I really do try hard to not trigger him with what i say but surely I deserve the right to say what's on my mind in my own home without fearing abuse? What can I do to support him so he feels safe to express his true feelings instead of rage?
I moved to LA after two years in New York, where there are a plethora of guys my age. Unfortunately, though I did go on dates, nothing stuck. Now, I’ve moved across the country. There could be a guy, even a friend of a friend (the perfect set-up!), currently living in New York who would be happy to be my boyfriend, but I’ll never know. Frequently, on the street in New York, I’d walk by a guy I could picture myself dating, and I’d want to blurt out, “What bar will you be at on Saturday, and why weren’t you also at The Jane last Saturday night like I was?!” Which brings me to:
I see a partnership as 2 people making a go of some common goal. My father used the utensil analogy of couples who are a fork and knife, versus couples who are a pair of chopsticks. The differing expectations for yourself and for your SO means you need a fork/knife relationship. The job gets done, and each person has their role which is fixed by gender norms, or however you two decide.
I sent one message saying hey I hope you made it.. First one was to Skype and no reply.. Second was to what’s app he replied I did make it A lot going on will get in touch with you soon.. It’s been 3 weeks and nothing I have backed off completely ..as I am unsure if he has or if he needs space due to his job and what he dealing with. How long do I wait I have no closure. Please advise, this man seems far to mature not to put closure on what we have we were even planning on me going to see him in the US.