As single millennials, the “Should I text him first?” inevitably pops up in my friend group chats from time to time, followed by thorough deliberation. This time, I went straight to the source for the answers to what, if anything, is appealing about “the chase” when it comes to texting, what the game is about, and how to play. Five guys, ages 20 – 30, opened up about what goes through their minds before they hit send.
How To Make A Man Want U
The funny thing about men is that telling them less about your life makes them long for you more. So as much as you might want to share the minutiae of your bitchy workplace or your take on the latest Grey's Anatomy plot twist, hold back. "The hard truth is that from his end, that information is overwhelming and boring," explains Douglas Weiss, PhD, author of The 7 Love Agreements. "Men don't have the capacity to endure great amounts of detail. That's one reason why they don't give you the play-by-play of their lives."
Respect yourself. If you say no, he should stop. If he doesn't stop, leave. Don't ever be uncomfortable saying no. Don't go against your morals to try to keep a guy. If you feel this is necessary, then either he's not a good man, or he is a good one but simply isn't a good match for you specifically (e. g. he is currently "playing the field" and is up front and honest about it, but you're looking for an exclusive relationship). Don't be uncomfortable saying yes, either. If you feel the time is right, believe in your worth and don't worry that you're "giving yourself away." You respect yourself and you're confident that he'll come back for more! A man who doesn't respect you in the morning never properly respected you to begin with, and a man who doesn't respect your wishes to wait is too impatient to make a good partner. Either way, find someone else.
Confidence is attractive. Shyness, unfortunately, can often disguise itself as disinterest, insecurity or haughtiness. Make a conscious effort to smile and make eye contact when you meet new people or spot a cute stranger at a coffee shop. Be aware of your body language and try to appear more approachable. As this will likely take practice, challenge yourself to engage with strangers on a regular basis: at the coffee shop, in the cafeteria, at a business meeting.
Let the guy you like know that you like him a lot, but never let him know that you’ve fallen head over heels for him. Always make him wonder about how serious you are, and let him be the first one to make the move into a serious relationship. The longer the chase, the more he would want you. But at the same time, push him away too often, and he’ll give up on the chase. Play hard to get, and yet, warm up to him often.
Via the process of operant conditioning, the crafty balancing of reward and punishment in response to certain behaviours, he will soon learn to be faithful and committed to you. It’s important to balance this with deterring of unsuitable behaviours too. If he wants to spend time with his friends and not you, if he wants to get an early night rather than stay up all night talking, make sure he regrets it considerably. Call the police and tell them he’s got a bomb, or release a wild leopard into his room as he tries to sleep. He won’t find early nights so relaxing after that.
How To Make Him Into You