I don’t know how I have never read your advice columns before, but these have made me feel like I know more than ever before. So I have been talking to this guy that I met online in January. We have not met yet because I was away at school and only just got home. He initiated the relationship and used to be incredibly attentive to me. He would text me, sext me, call me…it was great. All of a sudden he says we are moving too fast and now he rarely texts me at all. He doesn’t answer my texts some times and it makes me crazy because he claims to want to talk to me more and meet me but I don’t know what to think. Please help.
Look your best. That doesn't mean changing yourself to impress another person. Take pride into your appearance to give yourself an aura of confidence that can be highly attractive to someone you want to attract. Make a point to always be well-groomed and clean, from your hair to your teeth. Dress and accessorize to accentuate your finest feature, whether it's your hair or your height.
4. Brag about him to your friends, your family, coworkers, and everyone at your weekly Al-Anon meetings. Tell the world that he’s a doctor prince who writes spoken word poetry. Remember that a lie is the truth with a positive life attitude. Grab strangers by their shirts and yell “I’m dating a successful man with a calm temperament who satisfies me sexually!” This will make his ego swell like an infected wound.
Hi Deborah. I think you should respect his commitment to his long term relationship. His integrity is obviously one of the things you like about him. I think you should ask him if he’ll help you find a nice man like him. Maybe one of his friends might be perfect for you. From day one don’t let them take you for granted. And if your friend is their friend, he’ll be setting them a good example.
Anyways, enough about my feelings, the point I’m making is that every message you send your man should be exciting. Now, I know this can be tough, especially if you have the kind of relationship where you communicate daily through texts, and share those little mundane thoughts and updates, but seriously, believe me when I say it’s time to stop. From here on out you want to make sure that every text message you send is captivating and exciting! I’ll touch more on this later.
According to scientist, psychologist and author Todd B. Kashdan, PhD, “Love is about an expansion of the self whereby another person’s interests, values, social network, and finances become part of your life just as you share your resources with them. Love does not mean that you give up everything for another person. Rather, you possess sufficient trust to give them the keys to everything that you can access.”
The smartest way to find a good boyfriend is to start with yourself. Get emotionally, spiritually, and physically healthy by looking inward (and upward!) first. You don’t need a man, but your life may be happier with a partner. You don’t have to be in a relationship to be filled with purpose and joy, but your experiences will be deeper and richer if you have someone to share them with.
On the first meeting, tell him about yourself first. As Fanelli suggested, start by sharing the more basic things: your likes, dislikes, where you’re from. The casual, “what year are you? What’s your major?” lines always to the trick to get the ball rolling as well. Then let him do the same – the disclosure should always come from both sides! The more that you share, the closer he’ll feel to you and the more he will be willing to share. As the relationship continues, give each other the more serious, big-picture things.
Before you hit send on your phone it’s important that you read the text message you’ve typed up. Check it for clarity, spelling and tone. Read it at least five times; you’d be surprised how easy it is to overlook the simplest mistakes. Besides, if you send him a powerful message that then has to be followed up with a spelling correction or explanation, the original message you’ve sent is going to lose it’s bite. So don’t sell yourself short, read your messages before sending.
Love.CrackingtheManCode.net and CrackingtheManCode.com should be used for educational, entertainment, and personal uses only and should not be substituted for professional services such as counseling or therapy. While the strategies, principles, and concepts in this site have helped women from around the world in their love life, individual results may vary. Your results are determined by you and your level of effort, awareness, skill, and the energy you put into your love life.

Thanks for this insightful post... Yup, sure feels like a double or even triple bind. I'm supposed to be emotionally available, but also strong and brave and self reliant and have all the answers and be able to deal with everything fearlessly...and heaven help me if I express doubt, fear, anxiety, shame, what if I say "I feel from being orphaned in childhood I am unlovable and unloved.." Wow..that will get you stared at as a basket case, a damaged person...

To get a boyfriend, start by joining an interesting club or class to meet a guy you have something in common with. Hang out with him in casual, relaxed situations by going out for lunch or a coffee, and talk about your experiences and passions to see if you have a connection. Once you’ve gotten to know him, show your interest by leaning in when you talk and touching him casually on the arm or back. When you’re ready, ask him on a casual date to the movies or a school event. Relax, have fun, and ask him out again if you had a good time!
First off I want to say thanks for your honest and refreshing post. It's rare and a wonderful thing for a guy to admit the challenges men face and try to act opposite of the gender stereotypes. I'm so sorry about your breakup and hope you find happiness and love. Please stay warm and loving and expressive. The right woman will appreciate it. I personally am the type who loves emotional expression in men.

What To Tell A Guy You Like


* Why should I ever settle down? Rich men have a larger selection of women thanks to women being more accepting of rich men. You will see 4s go out with 8s all the time and nobody ever bats an eye because it’s so common in places such as New York City and San Francisco. Given a rich man’s mental conditioning, he will logically assume he is more handsome, more charismatic, and funnier than he really is. It really doesn’t matter if he’s not because he continues to get outsized attention from the ladies.
I didn’t have any trick. I just came to him and be myself, joking, and laughed together. I didn’t ask his job, he told me later on. I didn’t see him as a wealthy man. I saw him as a person, just like me. Months later, I met another rich guy. And simply just joking around and laughed. Now I am close to a rich guy too. He is nice guy and polite. Most of this typr of guy has a freakin’ busy life, travelling from country to country. I expect nothing, just have fun, no pressure and just let things flow naturally…

Yale psychologist, John Bargh, has dedicated hours to the art of priming - a memory effect that can make your guy instantly fall in love! Through his studies, Bargh concluded attraction is linked to temperatures. Participants were instructed to hold hot and cold beverages while judging a group of people. Those who were holding warm beverages judged the people as having warm personalities, while those who were holding cold beverages judged the people as having harsh and cold personalities. To make priming work to your advantage, skip out on that frozen yogurt date, and have your guy take you out for a warm coffee instead.

He approched my friends at time i wasnt there to ask about me. He then came to see me that night we did end up hooking up that night. Then again distant with the text. He does work full time very busy job so i wasnt concerned, he would go days with no contact. We hung out a two other times kinda same thing not much contact. He did tell me going things with court, buying house and work. Then we hung out and was telling ne he wanted to help me financially and have a baby settle down… We talk lil over that week. We make plans for dinner and movie night….at home. He texts on his way, then his cousin breaks down… He says he will be here soon as he can, no response the night or nexr day. I was really upset, figured i just wasnt priority and i was done not going to contact….. He calls 4th day my phone broke i am sorry i just got new phone. Mske plans he comes over next day. I said he talked to his cousin and cuz we never said excludive he didnt just want to show up. If ever happens again just come over no one here, dont leave me hanging and wondering ok,i promise…
Now, when it comes to text messaging men and women are quite different from one another in terms of the types of messages they best respond to. See, while us ladies like getting messages that are descriptive and evoke her feelings, men on the other hand, are visual creatures that respond best to descriptive messages that will let him easily imagine and feel the messages you’re sending. This means that you’ll want to use visual language. Let me give you an example. Instead of texting him, “I really want to kiss you right now,” you’d want to say something like “I ….”

Make sure he is not in a relationship. If he already has a girlfriend or boyfriend, it's best to be just friends. Put yourself in his shoes: Would you want another guy (or girl) to meddle in your relationship? Think about it; you would probably answer "no" to this question. Backing off is helpful to everyone: him, to yourself, and the person he’s dating. Plus, you'll find another guy eventually, so keep searching.
Another trick to make someone like you over text is to stroke their ego. Let them know they’ve made a positive impact on you and that they’re still on your mind. An example of this would be: “I just saw the cutest little squirrel in the park gathering nuts and it made me think of you!” A text like this is going to make the other person feel special — and making someone feel good is a surefire way to get them to like you.
You’re right I may be portraying women too gloriously, but I suspect the kind of women you’re talk to are young (early 20s). Of course young women fantasize about having money and spending it more than having kids. But despite what these women say, thoughts of kids will come up eventually.. either as a way to “secure” the man or their priorities will change; believe it or not, women will get bored and if a rich man can’t offer love and attention as readily as a poor man will, kids will do the job! 

Perhaps these "practical" dating strategies feel like extra help to some of us. We don't want to acknowledge that we need outside assistance to meet someone. I'm not sure what to think of practical methods. It could be really helpful, but I can't seem to shake that "extra math help" feeling. Besides, if my dating skills are like my math skills, no amount of extra help could get me afloat.


I am a woman, and I come from a well off family. I have always worked hard and dated men not based on income or looks but what I thought was love. My first relationship was fully abusive (he beat me because he wanted to control me and could not handle any men looking at me) I left, of course. My next long term started ok, but he would make me feel like garbage, tell me mutual friends didn’t like me (which wasn’t true, he just wanted to control me), he told me my businesses would fail, etc, Im an idiot and stayed with him 7 years…. the last 3 years he was financially dependent, but Im loyal and kept hoping he would get it together. 2 years after we broke up he told me he didn’t know what to do with his life now that he didn’t have my money…. :( And my latest relationship is in a similar financial bracket as I, but it took him 5 years to ask me to marry him and only after I left him twice and cried because I couldn’t believe that I was once again in a relationship that was going no where. And for the record, I am quite attractive, fit, work out 1-2 hours a day, make a reasonable living and don’t depend on my partners for money. I have low self esteem when it comes to my personal life, but high when it comes to my work. I am good at what I do. I keep hoping that I will find love and be able to have children, but I think my time for that is getting tight… So it goes both ways I guess. There are male gold diggers out there. And men need to stop leading us on if they have no thoughts of marriage. Its not fair to women. Most of us want kids and marriage and love. I’m honestly really tired of it all, and I find that this latest set back has brought be to a really dark place where I feel like I have nothing left to look forward to. Money and making money is fine but if you aren’t in love and don’t have love…. what’s it all worth? Friendships are hard to maintain, everyone I know works hard and long hours, as do I. If you don’t have family, you don’t really have anything to build towards. At least for me. I know some people are really happy without.
I suppose this is why I feel ambivalent about the subject. I’ve been on both sides of the story. Who I am today is someone who is motivated to BE someone on my own–I’m the breadwinner, I need to prove to myself I can do this. But I suppose for the women who really want to lock down a rich dude, I can advise. It would be fun to talk about it like that. I never really have before.
Relationships need a lot of effort, but sometimes it’s not easy to figure out where you should be directing that effort. Want to be more successful in dating? Then you’ll want to follow these simple steps for how to make a man fall in love with you, because believe it or not, there is actually a formula. It might not be magic, but it’s as close to a magic as you can get — and it’s also far more reliable.
Similarity may also play a role here. Wherever you meet him, the gym, the library, or class, if you both frequent the same spots, you’re likely to run into each other again. This also means, if you hit it off one night, make sure to let him know you want to hang out again, since, (now we know!) the more you see each other, the more likely you are to fall for him, and him for you! But, no, please don’t stalk him.

Stop going to those stupid parties. Expand your personal zeitgeist. "Nice guys" are putting on guerrilla art shows, working with the NRDC, riding in mountain bike rallies, and campaigning to get morons tossed out of Congress. Why not join one of these groups and make a little difference in the world? The men you meet will sometimes be startlingly hot, but who cares? You'll have time to get to know 10 or 12 of the buggers and decide which one really does deserve you.


I know a woman who went out with a man she met on OKCupid. The chemistry wasn’t there, so they decided to be friends. He invited her to a party he was hosting, and she brought her friends. Now they’re all friends, and the ladies often ask the gentleman for advice on reading men. That’s a bonus in my book, to have a male friend who can give you a different perspective on dating than your girlfriends!

Texts To Make Him Hard


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Anyways, enough about my feelings, the point I’m making is that every message you send your man should be exciting. Now, I know this can be tough, especially if you have the kind of relationship where you communicate daily through texts, and share those little mundane thoughts and updates, but seriously, believe me when I say it’s time to stop. From here on out you want to make sure that every text message you send is captivating and exciting! I’ll touch more on this later.
Bitter, much? If you were so great, you would have no problem meeting and keeping a great girl. The one you mentioned was not, but that doesn’t mean all women are like that, and it’s extremely ignorant and childish to say so. My ex bought me a brand new mkz for my birthday in our 6 year together… Then lost absolutely everything. I stayed as I loved him deeply, and got a job, then 2 jobs. He wasn’t rich when I first met him, either.
Now before you get all worked up or start panicking that this is a HUGE, seemingly impossible challenge, don’t. Stay calm, and believe me, this isn’t as hard as it seems. Better yet, in this video I’m going to give you text messages that you can use yourself. That means that all you have to do is listen to what I tell you here, and plug in these messages into your phone.
Now this man, he will get unreal pressure to, quite simply, “Unload the idiot w/lipstick”. Sorry but that’s you! So remember to date those that your physically attracted to, have your own money, always look amazing and don’t date a rocket scientist if you didn’t pass one math class in High School! Date those who challenge you not totally stump you!
Starting right above his knee, plant a light-as-a-feather kiss there, then work your way up, increasing the pressure of your lips on his skin the farther you go. That's exactly what Lisa, 36, does to get her husband primed for super hot sex. "Women typically think men don't like foreplay, but my husband loves this," she says. "And sometimes I'll prolong the agony by starting over again down at his other knee. He goes crazy with anticipation."
Guys who are actually interested will make time for you. Everyone’s busy AF, but if a guy actually cares, he’ll do whatever it takes to be in your life. That means he won’t leave you hanging on a text. He’ll text back because he actually wants to talk to you. Seeing your name light up his phone will make him happy, not annoyed, and he’ll be more than happy to shoot over a few words to keep the conversation going.
Make sure he is not in a relationship. If he already has a girlfriend or boyfriend, it's best to be just friends. Put yourself in his shoes: Would you want another guy (or girl) to meddle in your relationship? Think about it; you would probably answer "no" to this question. Backing off is helpful to everyone: him, to yourself, and the person he’s dating. Plus, you'll find another guy eventually, so keep searching.
Hang out with your friends. Rediscover a hobby. Go to exhibitions. Attend those networking events you always shy away from. Hit up dating sites. Be out and about. That way you don’t have to sit there worrying about how to get a boyfriend. And interesting things are far more likely to happen to you, which means you’ll have loads of date anecdotes and generally better chat.

Hello, are there any nice.kind,sincere, animal loving GENTLEMAN on here that would like to chat with a kind,caring,honorable, animal loving woman, Him 58+ me 51 country girl fields & horses here. I see the gold digger comments & yes there is a LOT of that going on but take it from the female bread winner in all my long past relationships, there are just as many or more male ‘gold diggers’ out there as female gold diggers. But I have been rich & I have been poor & struggling & wondering where every dime is coming from & worrying how you will call the vet if one of your beloved animals needs one & always having to be stressed over the next bale of hay is no way to live & good hard working men who can afford horses & that are willing to help a woman who owns them, well lets say IMPOSSIBLE to find. If i love an animal more then life itself, you would have to think caring for my man & loving him more then life itself if he does the same for me is a given, so ‘gold digger’ hardly. You just have to find a way to stop struggling or die young from the stress of it & a male companion to add to the stress is not happening period, they all want to have sex as one person here said, sex is the least important thing , companionship & caring comes first ( this is where the gentleman thing would come in) & those are almost impossible to find anymore. i would love to have a nice older gentleman that had the means to care for me & my beloveds properly is all & we could make each others lives nicer, someone to sit with & just be with & do fun things with, you can’t do a lot of fun things being broke all the time, being broke sucks. Of course a man for me would be a bit older & even possibly retired or close to it. Men my age all want to have sex with their daughters & well lets say i need a more mature man that that anyway . If there is anyone that wants to chat .
Starting right above his knee, plant a light-as-a-feather kiss there, then work your way up, increasing the pressure of your lips on his skin the farther you go. That's exactly what Lisa, 36, does to get her husband primed for super hot sex. "Women typically think men don't like foreplay, but my husband loves this," she says. "And sometimes I'll prolong the agony by starting over again down at his other knee. He goes crazy with anticipation."
Natalia This is the story of my life that i am still pondering upon even as i write this article.I maybe judged and i may not be but even if i am judged, no one can ever know my real personality or family.I have been asking myself if i should let the world know about this or maybe i should just keep it to myself cos most people might think am crazy.All the same am telling my story. my husband has four kids and we have a happy family.It wasn’t always just like that.Before my husband, i have been married to five different men.Yeah five, all five marriages failed after six months not cos we had problems or the relationships was on the rock they just come and go without good reason.It was easy to say i was cured by someone or something.I had a feeling there was something about me that wasn’t just appealing in the site of all the men that claimed to love me to death.The entire puzzle of my life just seem to fall into place when i met my present husband i fall hardly in love with him like he also did.It was all in his eye that he loved me with all he’s got.Yeah we got married but just after the first six months as always he just wanted out as every other man that i was married to.I never really wanted to let go of any of my ex husband i was willing to fight for the marriage but they bluntly weren’t ready for that.But this, i just got tired of same old same old thing just wanted a steady marriage with the love of my life.I tried marriage counseling with him which is suppose to me the best way to resolving marital problem but he was like its been tattooed in his mind that he wanted out of our marriage.I WANT TO LEAVE A QUESTION FOR ANYONE READING THIS CAN A WOMAN REALLY BE HAPPY OR FEEL COMPETE WHEN EVERY OF HER MARRIAGE FAILS.CAN A WOMAN EVER FEEL LIKE THEY BELONG IN THE SOCIETY WHEN EVERY MAN SHE IS MARRIED TO REJECT HER AFTER A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME WITHOUT ANY COURSE?FOR ME MY ANSWER IS A NO COS I KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS FOR ME AND
Some of you are sounding like a bunch of gold digging bitches, if I was a rich man I would run for the hills. All I have to say is just be honest about your intention, you never know he might agree to an allowance to keep you around IF HE/SHE with the resources choose. Remember they will have the upper hand. BULLSHIT WALKS and MONEY TALKS, so if you ain’t got your own and you get used, just remember its not nice to use people, and the tables can turn they can use you too. How about findinging someone you respect and if they happen to be rich great. Money is only good for material things that you will have nice things, but you don’t have to have a nice man, he could be a major asshole because he didn’t get rich being a choir boy even though he might choose to be good to you. MONEY is not everything its a lot it don’t cover. Date RICH men at your own risk, women are throwing sex at them, so deal with that too, I just hopes he respects you and is faithful in this world of AIDS and Herpes. How about getting your SHIT, nothing is sexier than a woman who has her own and holds her own. NEVER play hard to get like you don’t want him, he will see through it. Be your natural self RICH men didn’t get rich being stupid they KNOW A PHONY just like you do a mile away. Good lucK but don’t count on it.
It turns out, research shows that, in reality, women are the ones who make the first move. . . but not the way you might think. According to research revealed in The Man’s Guide to Women by Dr. John Gottman et al., “Whether or not men are interested in a woman is not strongly related to her objective attractiveness but instead to the nonverbal signals she sends out. In fact, when scoring women’s nonverbal behaviors, researchers were able to predict a man’s approach to her with 90 percent accuracy.”

How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You Psychology

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