Men tend to be less adept at recognizing symptoms of depression than women. A man is more likely to deny his feelings, hide them from himself and others, or try to mask them with other behaviors. And while men may experience classic symptoms of depression such as despondent mood, loss of interest in work or hobbies, weight and sleep disturbances, fatigue, and concentration problems, they are more likely than women to experience “stealth” depression symptoms such as anger, substance abuse, and agitation.
Hi Deborah. I think you should respect his commitment to his long term relationship. His integrity is obviously one of the things you like about him. I think you should ask him if he’ll help you find a nice man like him. Maybe one of his friends might be perfect for you. From day one don’t let them take you for granted. And if your friend is their friend, he’ll be setting them a good example.
That being said my husband was never until the last few years the primary breadwinner! Also, I can certainly say, w/ a great amount of thankfulness that he hated the horrific hours I worked! I hated his as well but I do believe the key is finding something (other than him referring to me as his “child bride” and his constant compliments that I’m his “arm candy”, I also find him devistatingly handsome!)
Author Bio: Sam started Financial Samurai in 2009 to help people achieve financial freedom sooner, rather than later. He spent 13 years working in investment banking, earned his MBA from UC Berkeley, and retired at age 34 in San Francisco. Everything Sam writes is based on first-hand experience because money is too important to be left up to pontification.
I’m so confused. I’ve been dating a guy once a week for about 3 weeks. He usually texts all throughout the day, happy things, stuff that upsets him about his job, asks me how my day is, etc. Initiation is probably about 60/40 me, or relatively equal. When we go out, it’s amazing. Like I’ve found some one who really really gets me. And he’s said the same. He says things like, “your gorgeous”, “you’re wonderful,” ” I want to see you many more times”, etc. I was vey happy with the way things were progressing. He’s a very introverted person, who suffers from depression and migraines, so I know he has “off” days. I try to give him space, and was really excited when he invited me over to his house to watch a movie. A lot of our texting had become pretty sexual at this point, so I was pretty sure that would happen. And it did. Once at night, and again in the AM. We chatted a bit and then I hit the road. When I said goodbye he flashed me a really weird look, but I tried to ignore my gut. After all, we’d had sex like 10 minutes earlier, and after we did, he took me out back to show me the boat he’s building, his pride and joy. Later that day (5 hrs later?) I texted him a funny reference to the movie we watched the previous night, and got no response. So around 930 that night, maybe 12 hours after I last say him, I texted to say “I’ve noticed you haven’t been responding like you usually do, is everything ok?” Thinking maybe he had a migraine, or was depressed and might want to talk about it (as he has done before). It’s now been 24 hours since I sent that text, and there’s been dead silence on his end. I don’t understand. I’m not going to text him, at least for a week, to make sure I’m not bothering him. But I’m a mess. I’m really worried that I did something wrong, or worse, that I was used for sex. Which really would be surprising, since he was really emotionally vulnerable with me prior to that night/ morning. Even after we first had sex. It’s as if something went wrong in the 15 mins between getting out of bed and into my car. Do I just give up and move on? It seems like either 1) he’s dead 2) his phone is broken, (clearly both are highly unlikely) or 3) he was really good at pretending to be vulnerable and open, with the end goal of having sex and kicking me to the curb. I totally feel used, and that is a terrible feeling. The fact he ignored me when I was checking in (in a lighthearted manner) to make sure he was ok is sooooo not “his normal”…but it’s currently his reality apparently.
If he wants a relationship, he’ll make an effort. If he’s not willing to do the work or put in the time, it means that you’re just not important to him. Do you really want to go after a guy who doesn’t see you as a priority in his life? If you’re doing all the work and he never even meets you in the middle, you’re just going to end up exhausted and unsatisfied. Remember — guys who have a real interest know how to make an effort.
I know a woman who went out with a man she met on OKCupid. The chemistry wasn’t there, so they decided to be friends. He invited her to a party he was hosting, and she brought her friends. Now they’re all friends, and the ladies often ask the gentleman for advice on reading men. That’s a bonus in my book, to have a male friend who can give you a different perspective on dating than your girlfriends!
Texts To Make Him Hard
These questions to ask a guy or girl over text are great because chatting with someone over text is a lot different from talking with them in person. So a lot of conversation questions just don’t quite work in a medium that begs for short responses. No long detailed stories. Nothing too deep or heavy. And forget anything too emotionally loaded unless you are an emoji master.
Ben, 27, is our breath of fresh air. “I’m not one for games,” he says, “and the older I get, the less and less I play them. But I do think it is important to not come off as desperate or clingy when first meeting someone, because you don’t want to spook them.” When can you expect a non-strategized text from him? “After 2 – 3 dates, I usually stop worrying about the time or frequency of my texts as strategic, because I feel that I have a read on them and whether or not we like each other.”
Somehow I find these exceedingly wrong..if you don’t want to deal with anything besides sex,don’t be in a relationship have a “no strings attached relationship”..If you want to be in a relationship with someone,communication is the key.If you want to focus on yourself,stay single & take all the time you want to work on yourself.I feel if you’re in a relationship with someone you have to give them time,through the good bad and ugly am I right?It can’t just be all fun and good times,where she keeps you happy with sexy and fun times.how about you treating her like your Queen rather than your servant?It is self centred that you want to be a king but refuse to treat her the same way you wish to be treated..Women aren’t needy,we don’t want you men to text us back every second of the day,atleast respond to what we say.If you’re going to be busy just send one simple text thats it,that’s all we ask,saying “will be busy for a while”don’t even have to include the three words if you dont wish to.But it is self centered to just disappear for days on end and give some pathetic excuse yet we forgive you because we actually take the time to understand you and love you..and if we were to do the same to you,maybe you men would not even mind it,but our hearts could not bare to do the same to you..
I totally agree with Brooke. Here is the quote from this article that I find most sexist: ‘Orient your mind towards giving him what he likes, not on what you want to get from him’ . The implicit suggestion here is not to expect anything in return. So send him sexy photos, keep it light and fun to entertain and please him, but when it comes to giving the woman what she wants, i.e. to be heard, loved and respected, then that woman is labelled as ‘needy’. How very convenient for men! A good relationship is about give and take, and men would and should be expected to be respectful towards their women and respond to texts. I am not talking about obsessive and demanding texting, of which men are also guilty, but normal communication between two people who treat each other with love and respect. If a man is not responding to you, then he does not respect and does not appreciate you. You need to move on.
Love is a two-way thing. You can't expect them to love you if you don't really love them in the first place. What does that mean? "Sometimes we want someone to fall in love with us because we need to feel wanted, but in reality, we're not actually in love with the person ourselves," says Spurr. "Ask yourself how you feel about this one. Do you accept them for who they are? Value them and the fact they're in your life? Do you appreciate all that they do for you? If not, you may just be wishing to be loved without being willing to love yourself. But the two go hand in hand."
To get a boyfriend, start by joining an interesting club or class to meet a guy you have something in common with. Hang out with him in casual, relaxed situations by going out for lunch or a coffee, and talk about your experiences and passions to see if you have a connection. Once you’ve gotten to know him, show your interest by leaning in when you talk and touching him casually on the arm or back. When you’re ready, ask him on a casual date to the movies or a school event. Relax, have fun, and ask him out again if you had a good time!
* Be your own person. Thoroughly pursue your dreams and do not give up until you get there. It’s important not to compromise your standards for a rich man. If you’ve always wanted to make it on Broadway, don’t you dare leave New York City to be closer to a man who lives in Chicago. If your dream job demands that you travel for three months a year, go for it and don’t look back. The more you focus on what you want, the more the rich man will want you. He has the financial resources to move, travel, or buy a piede de terre where you live if he wants to be with you so don’t worry about not pursuing your goals.
Work commitments can often make it difficult for men to find time to maintain friendships, but the first step to tackling male depression is to find people you can really connect with, face-to-face. That doesn’t mean simply trading jokes with a coworker or chatting about sports with the guy sitting next to you in a bar. It means finding someone you feel comfortable sharing your feelings with, someone who’ll listen to you without judging you, or telling you how you should think or feel.
I think we’ve all been in this situation one time or another: you’re staring at your phone, wondering what you’re going to text that special guy you like. You don’t want to seem like a nag, but you always don’t want to be boring or desperate. So what’s a girl to do? Check out these 15 easy ways to text the guy you like- all full proof ways that will leave you cool, calm, and comfortable.
Can someone pls help me,I think I’m in a relationship right now I like this guy and I’m starting to have feelings for him,he likes me also its too obvious and he also starting to say that his feelings for me is going stronger but he never said to me that he loves me I want him to say that to me without asking him if he loves me..I don’t know how to make him says that to me
#1 Be yourself. This is the most important thing to do. Just be yourself. When behind a screen sometimes you show the person who you think you can be as a way to impress them. But don’t do it. When they see you in person, they see a completely different person, so what’s the point? Just be yourself when texting him. [Read: 14 steps to take to love being you]
okay maybe u will find me somewhat ‘unique’ but let me spare u some advice. why do u have to limit your life to finding someone to be with forever? don’t get me wrong but isn’t it some sort of empowering to live on your own? happiness does not come a from a person. be kind towards others and have a great personality and character can also give one’s happiness. of course, the ultimate happiness come from God. when u have God and u feel His love what more do u need? I am perfectly happy and content just by loving God and live according to His will.
Avoid using shortened “chatspeak” like “l8r,” “2day,” “b4,” and “plz.” It might be fine with your friends, but it will make a bad impression on someone you’re romantically interested in. Chatspeak can also be easily misunderstood if the receiver doesn’t know the abbreviations you use. All in all, stick to correctly-spelled words and clear language—at least at first. Don’t text the girl from work “fyi i frgt have an appt l8r idk if i can meet 2day.” Say something clear like “I forgot I have an appointment this afternoon. I’m so sorry, do you mind if we reschedule our date for tomorrow?”
Because if his age and friends and their wives I certainly (at 22 w/40 ish ladies around me waiting for me to eat my eords if give them any reason to truly dislike me, you looking to date wealthy will certainly encounter these women! So while their husbands and boyfriends adored me and my wit and my presence… Know it took years to win over the wives! Women can be simply cruel and viscous so If your not already known to them please realize you aren’t welcome so you’d better be on your toes! (Fortunately I came from GOID breeding, a large amount of money on my mothers side and I was brought up and polished (While I never had a penny of the old money & still don’t I didn’t need it but I was given One hell of a fabulous BACKBONE SI PLEASE UNLESS YOUR SMART AND RELAXED AND TRUKY DONT GET YOUR FEELINGS HURT EASILY DONT ENTER THIS GAME! Money is even more covited than the handsome man I married w/an ex wife and 2chdren but ambition and a willingness to go the extra mile,invest wisely and WORK HARD AND HE STILL DOES! I simply adore him! I enjoy his Police (as much as one can) and Love his retirement career! It’s tremendously rewarding and shows his true interest in what I did and I’ve always been interested in the Kaw so??? We work! I once sold Fine Jewelry and diamonds for a living before working my way up the latter in a predominantly male run world of corporate management. To become an RVP (not because if any degree I’d earned after High School but because I loved my work & I still find great gratification helping strangers and My husband “Close a Sale!”, that’s magical and tantemaount to great sex if you ask me.
First off I want to say thanks for your honest and refreshing post. It's rare and a wonderful thing for a guy to admit the challenges men face and try to act opposite of the gender stereotypes. I'm so sorry about your breakup and hope you find happiness and love. Please stay warm and loving and expressive. The right woman will appreciate it. I personally am the type who loves emotional expression in men.
So, I've been talking to this guy for a couple of weeks. we have known eachother for awhile though but never talked to each other till recently. He was dating this girl for 2 years and they broke up 6 months ago , he messgaed me on instagram asking if i wanted to hangout sometime so i gave him my number! well we started texting for awhile but he isn't very consistent with texting and when we finally hung out i brought up how i always tect him for and he leaves me on read but then reply's to what i said couple days later. his reason was with school and work he has to work off his phone and my messages get pushed back and he would forget to reply, when he realized he forgot he had said it was too late to respond so i wouldnt bother. the next week he didnt talk much saying he had been, which i new he would be with what he had going on and moving out of his apartment that week. well he was active on snapchat at some concert so i thought i text him again and he never replied but still active on social media. i don't know if i shouldn't worry about it and text him again or just forget about it, maybe he isn't interested. i need help everyone i ask doesn't carer they just tell me i don't know. and i really need help figuring out what should i do.
I don’t know how I have never read your advice columns before, but these have made me feel like I know more than ever before. So I have been talking to this guy that I met online in January. We have not met yet because I was away at school and only just got home. He initiated the relationship and used to be incredibly attentive to me. He would text me, sext me, call me…it was great. All of a sudden he says we are moving too fast and now he rarely texts me at all. He doesn’t answer my texts some times and it makes me crazy because he claims to want to talk to me more and meet me but I don’t know what to think. Please help.
So let’s say you’ve been texting for awhile and he suddenly stops texting. Your first reaction might be to send him 5 more text messages in hopes of saying something that might interest him. Don’t do this! If the convo has been going for at least an hour, it may be okay to send a “Did you get my text?” message if he hasn’t responded in over 15 minutes. But other than that, don’t bombard him with eager messages- wait for him.
LOL, whatever. Most men I know are lazy as hell while their wives coordinate nearly every part of their lives. That includes my husband who acts like he’s doing me a big favor if he puts a load of his own clothes in the washer. AS IF washing his own clothing should be considered some sort of gift to me. He’s lucky that he’s intelligent, caring, and adorable.
Ladies! I can’t stress this enough. We don’t like to be bored, right? So what makes you think he wants to be bothered with a boring, lifeless conversation? Try to stay on interesting topics and when the convo starts fizzing out, try to spark it up once more or let it die. But the worst thing you can do is try and keep a one-word text message conversation going.
Find A Boyfriend
Lead by example to help him improve. Don’t criticize him harshly when he does something bad or wrong. This will make him feel horrible and he will begin to feel bad when he is around you. Instead, if he does something you don’t like, lead by example to show him a better way to be. You can certainly tell him when you don’t like something he does, but don’t be mean or controlling about it and help him find a good way to change.
What To Do To Make A Guy Want You
What makes people attracted is never "badness" (well, maybe the broken -1% will feel attracted to bad people), but confidence, coolness and the sense that you don't have to take care of someone else like a mother/father. People like it when someone acts as if they have their life together, like they have control over their emotions, like they are balanced. Like they won't make their lives more complicated by dating them. A little aloofness also makes things more spicy, as passions diminishes really bad after we get to know each other for long. Women like that also attract the regular guys like crazy.
This implies that if they went through a hard time financially, she’d be able to leave him with no guilt or remorse, but even if her beauty faded significantly after a given age, or any particular trait of hers that he loved her for decreased, he’d have no legitimate reason to leave, since those things could be considered “superficial” reasons to love someone, and that would work both ways.
Want to take a sneak peek at some of the chapters in my book? Just click the tabs on the left and you’ll see excerpts from each chapter so you can get a sense of the content and style. I like to bootleg a lot of facts and insights into funny narratives. My goal is to teach you something while making you laugh. And if I fail, well, that’s what the 30 day money back guarantee is for!