You’re both 18 so you’re not really into the ‘adult’ stage of relationships that comes after being burned a few times and having your hearts broken. To be honest, you might be on the brink of your first big disappointment. But that’s okay, we all go through being broken hearted and live to face another day ... and fall in love again. So here’s what I think.
Never lay everything out on the table if you want him to fall in love with you. Men love mysterious girls, and they will try their hardest to crack your code. In the beginning, keep your conversations casual, and don't go too deep into your life story, fears, dreams, and goals. Think of dating as one of your favorite murder mystery books. The suspense killed you as you flipped each page, right? Do the same when it comes to getting to know your guy. Slowly pull back the layers to keep him interested and craving for more!
When I justify an action by me being busy, it usually means, sorry dude I consider that the things that I am doing at work right to be of a higher priority and interest than you are. This was me being brutally honest. Now it doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t care for that person intimately on a superficial level…it just means that since they are not a long term investment for me or possibly because I am not at that stage of commitment…
If you’re wondering how to find a boyfriend, sweetie, get in line! There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but who wants to date a fish? We want boyfriends, and we want good ones, now! I’ve done loads of research, and put myself through a grueling dating boot-camp, so I can help, at least a little. Here are 8 ways to find a boyfriend. Are you ready?
"The reason a guy gets hooked on one woman is not because she is *just sexy*, or *just playful*, or *just certain*, or *just feminine*, or *just bursting with integrity*, but because she possesses a unique combination of traits: the girl who is warm, has integrity, and can charm his family, then rips his clothes off in the bedroom and is a sexual goddess; the girl who is playful with his friends, can debate politics like a pro, but knows how to enjoy a lazy Sunday watching movies and eating pizza; the girl who is independent, kicks ass out in the world, but is feminine and loving with her man. Women like this cause an alarm to go off inside a guy's head and heart. Keep her, he thinks. This one's amazing!"
How? Social hierarchies are based on people's deep awareness of status cues, right? (Any half-awake homo sapienette in America can size up your clothes, hairdo, accent, etc., and in two seconds peg you correctly in the social pecking order.) The sexual Status Sphere works the same way. If you're positioned ever so "nice, sweet," and un-slutilicious, clasping (demure as a doily!) a plastic cup of Jack and Ginger in a specific environment at a specific time (i.e., your usual "weekend party"), the Bud boys will read your cues 100 percent correctly as the cute "frustrated" girl who's looking for, no, who deserves a nice guy, and they will take massive advantage of the situation.
I’m so confused. I’ve been dating a guy once a week for about 3 weeks. He usually texts all throughout the day, happy things, stuff that upsets him about his job, asks me how my day is, etc. Initiation is probably about 60/40 me, or relatively equal. When we go out, it’s amazing. Like I’ve found some one who really really gets me. And he’s said the same. He says things like, “your gorgeous”, “you’re wonderful,” ” I want to see you many more times”, etc. I was vey happy with the way things were progressing. He’s a very introverted person, who suffers from depression and migraines, so I know he has “off” days. I try to give him space, and was really excited when he invited me over to his house to watch a movie. A lot of our texting had become pretty sexual at this point, so I was pretty sure that would happen. And it did. Once at night, and again in the AM. We chatted a bit and then I hit the road. When I said goodbye he flashed me a really weird look, but I tried to ignore my gut. After all, we’d had sex like 10 minutes earlier, and after we did, he took me out back to show me the boat he’s building, his pride and joy. Later that day (5 hrs later?) I texted him a funny reference to the movie we watched the previous night, and got no response. So around 930 that night, maybe 12 hours after I last say him, I texted to say “I’ve noticed you haven’t been responding like you usually do, is everything ok?” Thinking maybe he had a migraine, or was depressed and might want to talk about it (as he has done before). It’s now been 24 hours since I sent that text, and there’s been dead silence on his end. I don’t understand. I’m not going to text him, at least for a week, to make sure I’m not bothering him. But I’m a mess. I’m really worried that I did something wrong, or worse, that I was used for sex. Which really would be surprising, since he was really emotionally vulnerable with me prior to that night/ morning. Even after we first had sex. It’s as if something went wrong in the 15 mins between getting out of bed and into my car. Do I just give up and move on? It seems like either 1) he’s dead 2) his phone is broken, (clearly both are highly unlikely) or 3) he was really good at pretending to be vulnerable and open, with the end goal of having sex and kicking me to the curb. I totally feel used, and that is a terrible feeling. The fact he ignored me when I was checking in (in a lighthearted manner) to make sure he was ok is sooooo not “his normal”…but it’s currently his reality apparently.
Obviously, I’m not saying all men are this way, but I think for the most part, unless a man is born with more nurturing qualities and prefer to change diapers, cook and clean as a full time job, I’d bet guys generally don’t know much about that stuff (or would to do it to the standard a woman would prefer) and therefore prefers the woman to do most of that “stuff”.
When you’re barraging a guy with a bunch of texts and he hasn’t answered you back yet, give him some space; give him some time to text you back. Texting should be kind of like ping-pong. You want your conversation with him to be interactive; you want it to go back and forth. When you start machine gun texting him, he doesn’t have time to text you back and it gets completely overwhelming and turns him off. Phew. All right.
@Eric, ask yourself and please be honest (I know that you like being straightforward) if that woman was indeed the one* (let me clarify the one, wouldn’t want you to think that I am stuck in a Disney Movie ending). The one: being a woman that you would consider as a serious long term partner, that you would be proud to introduce to your family and with whom you could see yourself having children. Would you really risk losing the relationship by blaming not responding to a text because you are busy.