If there is one area I see women mess up time and again, it's in trying to define a relationship or tie a man down too soon. That's because her need to feel "safe" is in direct contrast to his innate desire for freedom and not being tied down. If you think about it, every soldier anywhere who has ever been killed in action has died trying to defend their idea of freedom.
There is a strong link between sexual arousal and anxiety, according to a 1974 study by Donald Dutton and Arthur Aron. One group of men stood on a stable bridge, while another group of men stood on a shaky bridge that heightened their anxiety. An attractive woman individually asked each man a series of questions. At the end of the interview, the woman gave the men her phone number "just in case." The results found that the men who were on the shaky bridge reached out and called the woman more than the men on the stable bridge. The correlation between attraction and anxiety was officially linked. So what does all this mean for you? Well, if you want your guy to feel attracted to you, you need to take him out of his comfort zone and put some adventure into his life! Plan a date at an amusement park, or take him sky diving to get his adrenaline pumping. Natural chemicals will be released into his brain that will make him wonder why he's always having such a blast when he's with you! And you know what that will lead to? Instant attraction!
I'll preface this by saying the few dating/relationship books I've flipped through or read descriptions for often come across as very condescending to women. This is especially true if meant to unveil the "male mind" and give it to us straight - the "ugly truth" type of stuff. They make women feel bad for being women. You come away from just one little paragraph feeling like men essentially don't like women (beyond the physical). We're told we need to be more feminine, but also think like men, less clingy, but not too independent - etc. Here is a book which focuses less on how women need to change their nature, needs, desires, etc, as if we're hopelessly incompatible with men by nature, and instead it focuses on social skills & positive thinking modes for attracting & developing relationships with compatible men we actually like & who are worth OUR time & energy.
Hi Eric, I’m in no relationship right now. I’m on a dating site and matched well with a as we messaged, he stated, we have a lot in common. He asked to start texting so we did. In two weeks we sent pic’s of ourselves and had phone sex twice. He keeps saying we need to meet, when we set a day and time he was getting sick. Fine, I believe him. You suggested a sexy pic. Good idea. It’s fun, but is there a way to ask him if he still wants to get to know me? And, What is the standard of getting to know one another if the dating sites are where I’m meeting guys. I understand he and other guys are tired from work and are busy on days off and talking to other women on the site. Thank you for your time, Kim
Comments like this come from people who are insecure, seething with resentment, and fearful. It sounds like you’re projecting your lack of self worth onto your ignorant concept of “feminists”. Obviously feminists threaten you terribly. Hey, if I lived a vapid life where I’d married the highest bidder to “provide for me”, I’d feel bad about myself, too. Many other women have the satisfaction and confidence of knowing they earned their own money from their accomplishments and talents; they don’t lazily consider all work to be “toil”; they are in great relationships; and they’re very attractive to boot. It obviously burns you up. :)
On the beauty front, for example. I may age and lose my beauty, but that doesn’t give me an excuse to let myself go. When I am forty, I don’t need to look 20, but I do want to look like a well-kept 40…if that makes sense. I have family members who work 12-14 hours a day, 6 days a week, and yet they still find the time to exercise and prepare the most nourishing meals for themselves.